Musings of the Black Yoda

Black Bauer

2012-01-09T07:56:00.000-05:00

In 24, Jack Bauer always manages to save the world in 24 hours. It turns out that it takes considerably longer to do in real life. That's why I'm here. I'm like the black Jack Bauer. :o)

"See, like Jack Bauer, I too have a beard that suggests a certain world-weariness that's moved shaving down to the bottom of my list of priorities."

In any case, I've managed to save many people from a life of ignorance, but the threats are bigger and badder than ever so I must be as well. I have quite a large project that I'm working on in 2012 so I will be taking a break from blogging because, like the U.S. military after budget cuts, I'm not able to fight on two battlefronts :0) Don't worry, you can always follow me on twitter (black_yoda). Until we meet again (or I'm drawn out from the underground by an insidious plan)...

Myth Busting: Street Harassment

2012-01-07T15:15:00.000-05:00

I know women who say they have never been subject to street harassment, but I've never come across a single staunch feminist who will make the same claim. How does that happen? Apparently, there's something about being a feminist that makes hiphop, drug-dealing thugs want to holla out "Hey shawty" or "Hey bitch" or whatever they think black men say to random black women they encounter. Let me explain it for the idiots even though they will still come to the exact wrong conclusion. Am I saying that street harassment doesn't take place? I hate that I have to answer the preceding question, but the level of intelligence is such that I have to answer it. Of course there is street harassment. I just think that a small percentage of black males (raised by single mothers no doubt)is doing a majority of the street harassing (and various other antisocial/criminal behaviors in the black community). I also think many feminists are lying about what they're experiencing. It's always the same story: She was on her way to work/school/church/volunteer at the soup kitchen, minding her own business. Suddenly, a shirtless, tattooed thug wearing a cheap, gold plated chain saw her and had to say something because she was so irresistible. "Hey bitch, I wanna fuck you." She politely responds, "Sir, please don't disrespect me. I'm just trying to enjoy my day in peace." He says, "Fuck you, bitch. You too good to talk to me? If there weren't all these people around, I would continue to verbally and sexually assault you." At this point, he throws one of those Batman smoke pellets and vanishes back into the netherworld from whence he came...lol

Doesn't anyone find it strange that you rarely (read ever) see a self-proclaimed stauch feminist with some corroborating evidence of the harassment they say they face on a daily basis? They never have any video. They never have other eye-witnesses who'll say: "I was there. It happened just like she said." They never have a police report or proof of conviction. I'm just supposed to believe them because they say it? Let me be say this again: I am not saying street harassment does not occur. I am not saying that some of them aren't telling the truth. I am saying that many of them are lying..lol. Are some males pushy in their approach? I bet. Could some men say something that rubs you wrong way (although it would rub you the right way if someone you found attractive said it)? Sure. But every unwanted or unnecessary interaction with a guy isn't harassment.

It's like bullying. Does it happen? Of course. Are most children bullies or being bullied? No. And what do you think you would find if you examine the home life of those bullies? I'm not even going to bother answering that question because you should already know. The bottom line is that you have a small percentage of kids doing the majority of the bullying. You don't get that impression if you watch the mainstream media specials that come on when some poor kid is bullied to death. And just so you know, I have no problem with those kids (and their parents) being prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law when they do harass someone. Still, if a majority of children started saying they've been bullied, it would be time to say it:

Cut the bullshit! Do most children experience negative experiences at school at some point in their lives? Of course! But getting into a fight isn't the same thing as being bullied. Being called a bad name in school isn't being bullied.

Similarly, every unwanted comment by a man isn't street harassment. I've been harassed because of my comments against feminist lies...lol. I know firsthand what harassment is and what it isn't. Feminists need to cut the shit about all the street harassment they face. You're not that hot. You're not that important. You're not that interesting. Nobody gives a fuck about talking to you specifically. Some stranger going out of his way to harass you is possible, but not probable. It certainly isn't going to happen to you on a daily, weekly or even monthly basis. So when I hear every feminist recount endless tales of men who just wouldn't leave them alone? "I don't believe you; you need more people." No, really, please make up some eyewitness testimony in the future to corroborate your duck tales. You'll fool more people that way.

I am an anti-feminist

2012-01-02T08:00:00.001-05:00

Many are afraid to say it, but I'm not. I am an anti-feminist. I've had enough exchanges with feminist swine to know that we're never going to agree. There's no room for compromise or dialogue. I can't compromise with a feminist any more than I can compromise with a member of the Ku Klux Klan. There's nothing to talk about. Their mission is our demise. What's there to negotiate about? How quickly they kill us? Which method of execution we prefer? To come to the table to talk is to surrender. Feminists are experts at spinning bullshit. They've almost completely eviscerated the black community. Who's going to meet them at the table? The few remaining pockets of resistance so they can be hit with another drone attack? And they can drone on, can't they? :o) Fuck that. I'd rather keep it Palestinian and keep hitting they ass with anti-aircraft missiles.

Let me explain why there can never be peace. The black feminist ideology is complete bullshit and I'll give you some examples that illustrate why. The first thing a feminist will do is challenge you about the definition of feminism. Whatever you say will be wrong or incomplete in part because "there are as many definitions of feminism as there are feminists." For real, that's what my latest punching bag said. The reason why they say this is because if you pin down any definition you begin to see how they instantly violate it. It helps them if they can change it's meaning from moment to moment. I can rattle off the words of 2nd and 3rd wave feminists. I can rattle off the words of people she admires(bell hooks, Alice Walker, etc.) I can even rattle off her own words and somehow I still don't quite get the definition of feminism. I suppose neither do the women she admires the most since I'm using their definitions. In any case, let's not get bogged down in minutia. After she does some rhetorical dancing, I'll get her to agree that, in a nut shell, feminism is supposed to be about equal rights and equal opportunity. These are humanist goals. The wily feminist tries to couch her activities in this humanist approach, but it's bullshit. Feminism isn't about equity; it's about supremacy. It's about maintaining the privilege females already have in many areas and increasing their privilege in every other area. This has nothing to do with fairness. Here are the basic operating principles of feminism:

1) Men are universally advantaged; women are universally disadvantaged.

Intellectually, most of us know this is false. Oprah is better off than Tyree--who's currently languishing in a jail sell for having a nickel bag on him. Still, this is premise that many feminists operate under. Let's look at the black community, shall we? Are young, black men privileged over young, black women in education, healthcare, access to government assistance, the work place etc.? Do black women receive the same treatment as black men from the legal system: law enforcement, the courts, etc.? If not, why is one treated differently from the other? After you answer that, go back to our generic definition of feminism? Do you see it now? They don't give a shit about inequity if it works to their advantage. A few (the wily in the bunch) will say in protest that they do care about gender equity for men and women. Ask them for some examples of their care and concern that rivals their effort over the issues they really care about. I hope you're prepared for crickets. They don't give a shit anymore than the white people at an all white firm give a shit when they say they care about diversity. It sounds nice to say, but it's bullshit. I would respect those white people more if they simply said, "Fuck diversity. We trying to make money for ourselves and our white shareholders." I still wouldn't respect them much, but at least I would respect their honesty. Similarly, I would respect feminists more if they were honest about their goals. But finding an honest feminist is like finding an honest politician. Good luck with that.

2) Women are responsible for the good and men are responsible for the bad.

Here's an example that I like to give that illustrates this point perfectly. You have a black boy raised by a single mother. He goes on to become very successful in a professional sense. For example, think of most professional black athletes. What's the first thing they do after some high achievement?

They thank God and they thank their mama. They attribute their personal and professional success to their mothers. And so do the rest of us. We see some long-suffering mama who sacrificed so much for her son to succeed. Fair enough. But you do realize there's only a few thousand professional black male athletes in this country, right? What about all the black boys who grow up to become prison fodder or clowns? You care to make a wager about what side of the scale will have more members?

We give single mothers credit when they succeed. Do we discredit them when they fail? No, we don't. Instead, we say, "Well, he's a fuck-up because he didn't have a father in his life." It's the fault of the parent who isn't there more than the fault of the parent who is there. Does no one see anything wrong with this picture???...lol. Let me flip the script: Let's say I raise my daughter by myself and she becomes a professionally and personally successful young woman. "Good job, Dad!" Right? Now let's say I raise her and she becomes a junior high school dropout/aspiring reality TV star who gets pregnant at 14 and ends up doing tricks on backpage to pay for her cocaine habit. What do you say then? Let me guess, you would say, "Well, she's like that because she didn't have a mother in her life." Right? You know good and god damn well you wouldn't say that. You would say, "What the fuck did this asshole of a father do (or not do) to fuck up his daughter this bad?" AND YOU WOULD BE RIGHT TO SAY THIS!!!!! Anyone care to explain how you get two fundamentally different responses to the products of single parent households? Anyone? Oh wait, I have an explanation and it's been numbered and highlighted for you. This also explains the terrible treatment men face whenever they enter the legal system against a woman. At best, there is a presumption of dubious moral character on his part.

3) Any criticism or harsh words directed at feminism is misogyny by default.

This I know to be true...lol. It's funny how the misogyny label gets thrown around whenever you disagree with feminist ideology. Aren't there male feminists? I'll shit on a Jewel Woods or Mark Neal as quickly as I will a Patricia Collins or bell hooks. In fact, it'll be worse with the males because they should know better. My criticisms aren't about the gender to which you belong. They are about the bullshit ideology you're selling. What's happening here is many feminists equate my anti-feminist rhetoric with me being anti-woman. I'm not anti-woman. I am against the feminist ideology held by many women and men because I see it for what it is. I'm against it because I see what it's doing to black children and the chances they have of forming a stable community.

I am an anti-feminist. I say it without shame or remorse. I will continue to say it until feminism has either 1) been completely eradicated in the black community or 2) it comes to be represented by people who are nothing like the current crap crop that hold it up as a banner. I can't be bullied or shamed into silence. I don't give a damn how much money and air time is given to these wretched individuals who currently call themselves feminists. I don't care how many academics or pundits cosign this bullshit. If this is the last chance to save the black community, and I fear that it is, then it won't be said that no one resisted. It won't be said that no one fought back. There are still some who will try their best to destroy this virulent, repugnant ideology that has destroyed the minds and bodies of so many black people. If I got to be Nat Turnher up in this bitch, so be it (see what I did there?:0)

Black Yoda digs through his DVD collection aka the African-American section of the movie bin at Walmart.

2011-12-29T15:34:00.000-05:00

"Can anyone tell me where I can find an exact replica of this apple? I would put it on my desk and perform the magic trick for everyone who enters."

Since I'm on break, I've been watching a lot of documentaries, movies and television series. I decided to revisit some "classics" in black cinema. By black cinema, I mean movies featuring a predominately black cast. I want to make that clear because people often think black cinema means all black everything when that's almost always false. Almost everything you see on television or the Internet is a a collaborative process. You may see Negroes on the screen, but that doesn't mean white people and others aren't everywhere else (writing, producing, directing, marketing, etc.). Trust me, they are. In any case, as near and dear as many if the following films are to the hearts of black people (myself included), they got a lot wrong.

Let's look at a few examples:

Lean on Me

As much as I hated my time working at a Ghetto School and advocate violence as a means of controlling the hopelessly ignorant, I never actually said anything like this to any one classified as a student. Note I said classified as a student. I had very few actual students. But you do realize that you shouldn't recommend someone commit suicide—expeditiously or otherwise—even though the world would be a better place without them since they grow up to do shit like this.

Here's another troubling segment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIKVj18BgXs&sns=tw

What am I supposed to take away from this scene? Either 1) if you're looking for the next Boyz II Men just go into the restroom of a failing school or 2) if you happen to find a group of Negroes (with at least 1 Jheri Curl in the bunch) in a bathroom, they can automatically sing in 5 part harmonies (I don't consider Sams singing "Yeah" a part...lol). I don't see how either could be true.

The Color Purple

Black feminists love this shit. I could never get into it. I get the appeal: Oprah's in it. And they have scenes like the following:

Do you see the appeal to black feminists? Here we have a Jew directing a scene from a book written by a black woman in which black male pathology takes center stage. We have a scene where black women are portrayed as victims and black men as the primary villains in the early 20th century. What a novel idea!

Until you do right by me, Mister... Spielberg.

Seriously, I can't stomach this shit. Could you please give us free?

The 5 Heartbeats

Relax. I'm not going to eviscerate this film. I actually kinda like it. Sure, you have to deal with Leon's over acting, but that's not that bad. I do wonder about Michael " Night like this I wish raindrops would fa ah ah ah alll" Wright.

He's either a phenomenally talented actor or a deeply disturbed individual (perhaps both). He expertly personifies the fuck-up, the ne'er-do-well. Has he ever been in a romantic comedy? I can only picture him in New Jack City and Oz. But if you feel me on this, then you can start to get an idea of how people come across to me when I talk to them. There as obvious to me as Eddie "Kang" Jr. is to everyone. That's why I have no problem saying precisely what I mean about people. They're usually that transparent to me. It probably also explains why I don't have many friends. I'm probably not going to like the real you and most people aren't going to like someone like me. Can people hide their thoughts from me? Sure? Can Eddie "Kang" Jr. not fuck up? Sure. But how long do you think that's going to last? Also, I had to give a shot out to Suge Knight's cinematic daddy, Big Red.

I have had students come at me like Bird did to Red. "I need to talk to you right now about my grade and how you keep your grade book....Fuck your office hours; I need to talk to you right now, motherfucker!" What can I say? Students are much more aggressive these days.:o) I've had to tell them like Red that my office hours are...

"from 9 to 5".

Juice

We had a supremely talented actor in 2pac Shakur. Too bad everyone and everything else in this film was sub par. That can be said about almost every film he was in: terrific acting (by him), terrible film. Juice was no exception. I must admit that I still get a chuckle every time I hear about the "snappy nappy dug out"....lol. The worst part about this film had to be the light skinned Latino, Radamez.

"Ever seen China town? Motherfucker!!"

It took a good 10 seconds for him to say that line...lol Clearly he ate lead chips as a kid. Anyway, 2pac made everyone else look amateurish. I guess art imitated life since all the actors in this film got their careers "Bishoped" except for Omar Epps.

What comes first?

2011-12-25T20:57:00.000-05:00

In my last blog, I spoke about some things that black people need to let go of if they want a fighting chance in the 21st century. I spent more time on the things we need to let go of because there are just so many of them. It’s like dealing with a hoarder. You do need to help them embrace healthier living habits, but first you just need to throw out a lot of shit. I only briefly talked about what we should embrace: rationalism, frugality and entrepreneurship. We do need to foster the entrepreneurial spirit, but I also realize that not everyone can be a business owner. In a nutshell, here's what the black community needs more than anything else: entry-level jobs that pay a living wage.

When I was leaving high school in the mid nineties, it was still possible (although very difficult) to get a decent paying factory job right out of high school. Those types of jobs have been all but wiped out(especially in the black community) as we've become a more technologically-driven society. So what's the solution? Get more education so we can get those technology-based jobs? Yes, but simply saying that doesn’t accomplish anything. Simply telling someone to get more education or skills isn’t going to be sufficient to affect much change at the micro or macro level. Why not? Is it because we don't value education? Yes, but the reason why we don’t value education is because there are no jobs. Chicken and the egg, right? Actually, it isn’t. Jobs must come first!

How does someone gain an appreciation for education? It doesn't happen because of philosophical reasons for the most part. That's not how it works. Let me show you how people learn to value education. You have men and women getting jobs that allow them to make a living wage. They probably have to bust their ass to make ends meet, but they can do it. These uneducated people pick up extra shifts, work weekends and even pick up a second job. They come home with their back aching from work or their feet swollen from standing on them all day. Do you know what people who have these experiences say to their children that they are barely able to provide for? They say, “You're not going to be like me. You're going to be better than me. I want you using your mind to earn a living.” Voila: value placed on education. The child grows up seeing education as a way out because the parents know the alternative firsthand and steer them in a different direction.

There was a greater value placed on education a couple of generations ago. What happened? Jobs were stripped from the black community and replaced by the drug trade. Black men were further criminalized. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: A black man in a cell is no different than Neo in one of those red pods from the matrix.

They’re human batteries. They serve as a power source/resource for mostly rich, white people to create wealth for themselves and, in that pursuit, create a few jobs for some poorer people that allow them to earn more than minimum wage. These rich, white people don't just create jobs out of the kindness of their heart. They benefit from having some semblance of what they would call a civil society. A few jobs is a small price to pay to allow them to continue unabated. You'll always need someone to police the have-nots. Someone has to build the prisons. Someone has to feed them. Someone has to watch them. As technological advances make fewer people necessary for greater productivity, you simply appoint some of those excess people to watch the rest of the people our capitalist system no longer needs. Sounds like a plantation owner hiring more white trash as overseers, doesn’t it? Today, these above minimum wage jobs aren’t exclusively for white people. That’s progress, isn’t it? What are some of the few opportunities for students of color coming right out of high school who have no concept of higher education nor where they prepared for it even if they do? Join a force charged with the task of killing niggaz domestically (police) or internationally (military). Other than that, what's left? Nothing. White kids, to a much larger degree than black kids, have already been paced on a higher education track where there are more opportunities. And why is this? It’s because white people fresh off the boat at Ellis Island in the late 1800's/early 1900's realized that they didn’t want their kids to struggle the way they did. Subsequent generations benefited from that mindset that originated with an opportunity for economic gain even with minimal skills. You get the money then you think about ways to keep it and make more of it with less effort. White people talk about the hard work of their ancestors, but many of them are really talking about the hard work their great grandparents did who emigrated here in the early 20th century. For those who can trace their lineage here to an earlier date, the hard work their ancestors did was really more about the uncredited work slaves did that gave them the opportunity to pursue other opportunities that, in turn, gave opportunities to all those immigrants that would later arrive at Ellis Island. See how it works? First you get the money, then you think about ways to make more of it at a faster rate. You must have decent jobs available for low-skilled workers if you’re truly interested in turning things around. Everything else is mostly rhetorical bullshit and masturbation.

I don’t want to make it seem once you’re able to pay the toll to get on the highway of higher education everything will be fine. You’ll begin to see that the path of higher education has little to do learning anything other than the rules of the road: elitism and guardianship. If you’re white, you can take the express lane. If you’re a black man, your ass is gonna have to take some detours. You’ll pass by Youstillanigger-ville (population: you) and the town of Damnquotas (population you and anyone who looks like you). The focus on education without first having jobs is a way to guarantee that you won't see improvements in either. I learned the least when I was in school, but I also realized that without those pieces of paper, you make it easier for white people to discriminate against you. If my parents didn't have to actually work HARD and subsequently instill the value of education in me,I would have been a statistic. I can admit that to myself. I was faced with a choice to either a) incur a massive amount of debt at an institution of higher learning or b) get myself institutionalized where I would have to pay a massive debt to society. I made the best of a bad situation, but I shouldn’t have to make that choice, should I? So how do we avoid that predicament? How do we succeed? We do need to throw off the mental shackles of religion, feminism and materialism. But we first need decent jobs for young, black kids. Part of this should come from businesses we create and control. Part of it should come from the government that's supposed to represent our interests. There needs to be opportunities that would allow a young man, even with little skills, to learn a trade and take care of a spouse and child in the process. I've never come across a drug dealer who would choose to deal drugs if he could make the same wage legally. Even a lower wage would be sufficient when you consider the violence, incarceration and other penalties that come with the drug trade. If you give a kid an opportunity to make a living that allows him to live in dignity without breaking the law, he'll take it more times than not. He'll then turn his mind towards increasing his lot in life and that's where education comes in. Instead, the jobs have been gutted from the black community and black males have been pushed out of the home and right into the pen through government policy.

All I hear from people is that we need to stop the violence. I hear “Just say no” like Nancy Reagan. It's ridiculous. You can’t even tell your politicians to focus on jobs for young black males who have the highest unemployment rate because that's racist. I’m the problem, not the designers and perpetrators of the motherfucking predicament we're in. The people who say you need to focus on jobs for young, black men and stop all this bullshit about sexism and focusing on God are the motherfucking problem. Sorry, I tried not to curse. I was doing so well too. Anyway, I can only tell you what needs to happen. If you want to keep praying for deliverance or hoping that the niggaz you've mentally destroyed from birth will somehow get it together in time, I can't stop you from being an idiot anymore than you can stop them.

Saving the black community

2011-12-20T07:51:00.000-05:00

I've flirted with many of the things I'm about to say. In this blog, I'm just going to come right out and say it. If the black community is to be saved, we must embrace rationalism. In doing so, we must abandon the corrosive ideologies that have been eating away at the black community for decades now. Among them, feminism, religion and the current culture of conspicuous consumption must all be rejected. I realize almost everyone will get clipped by the buckshot I'm about to release, but I need you to focus the goal, not your personal feelings. The goal isn't to make you feel good or to offend you either. I'm talking about a strategy for success here. By success, I'm mean the ability to determine your own fate; I'm talking about autonomy and self-sufficiency. That cannot happen if you're beholden to nonsense or choosing a weak ass position. It's like coming to a poker game not knowing how to play and showing everyone your shitty hand. If you wonder why you aren't winning, I'm not sure there's much I can do for you. So, let's get to it, shall we?

Feminism must be rejected. Replaced by what? I would argue that it should be replaced with nothing. But, if you need something, try humanism instead. The purpose must be to protect and promote all people--the men, the women and the children. Feminism in the black community is about the protection and expansion of female privilege at the expense of men. Can we please just stop the lying for one minute? I've seen many black households that would appear "patriarchal" to feminists. I've seen many black households where the man is in charge, overbearing even. I've seen even more households that are "matriarchal" i.e. headed by what feminists would probably call strong, independent, black women. I'll take the "patriarchal" households every God-damned time. I know you like how I just simultaneously ruffled the feathers of the religious fanatics and feminists. When I look at the children (boys and girls) of "patriarchal" households, I typically (not always) see boys and girls who both have a shot at success. When I look at the children of "matriarchal" households (boys and girls), I typically see damaged girls who are taught to work and seek refuge outside of the black community and boys who are bred to be losers. That's harsh, right? Don't believe me? Good. I don't want you to believe me. I want you to go see for yourself. 1) Go to any city/ghetto of your choosing and 2) open your eyes. I'm interested in maximizing the life chances of the women, the men and the children. I realize that you need both boys and girls to eventually create healthy couples and a healthy community.

Feminists only care about girls and women. And even then, they only care about those women who are on board with their agenda. Feminists in the black community are only here to promote a segment of black women at the expense of men. If they are successful (and they are winning), the consequence of this will be "black matriarchs" who will be competing against the "patriarchs" of every other community. Ironically, these strong, independent "matriarchs" are often supported by the "patriarchs" through the government. Who the fuck thinks this is good idea? What game do you know where the competition trains you to defeat them? Huh? How about this: Take any WNBA team and put them against any NBA team. Who wants to bet on the WNBA team? The point isn't to say the WNBA team is inferior (although it is), but to help you see the odds we're up against by embracing feminism. It's going to be a slaughter. The Knicks may suck, but they can beat the NY Liberty. The only group that has a chance against the men of other groups is BLACK MEN. And black feminists are purposely trying to destroy black men by destroying black boys. When you hear someone call themselves a black feminist, you should know they're cheerleaders for the opposing team even though they're wearing your colors. They should be booed out of the stadium. They should be shunned. Let them all live together in a shanty town under a bridge somewhere far away.

Religion must also go. I can already hear the counter argument: Some elegant response talking about the importance of faith, the difference between religion and spirituality, and possibly some gobbledygook about the importance of God in the lives of the believers. In other words, nothing of substance. Look, I could care less which invisible homey you talk to at night before you go to bed. Can we at least agree that religion is nonsense? Can we at least agree that the church is a worthless institution (and that's putting a positive spin on it). The church did actually serve a purpose in the past. It was useful when it served as a crucible for change instead of a coffin. It had a purpose when it served as a meeting place for abolitionists or as a stop on the Underground railroad. It served a purpose when preachers used the pulpit to fight against social, political and economic injustice. Today, this is what the church is about:

We have a bunch of charlatans who've found the ultimate hustle. Jakes, Dollar, Long, Olsteen....it's all the same hustle. There's a reason why it's so hard to get smart men into the church: it's because they're SMART! So what do you see when you drive by the church on Sunday morning: a bunch of women dragging their men (if they have one) and their young children to listen to a liar. It doesn't even make sense that women feel the need to go to church anymore. If they want to talk about a Father who isn't there in the physical form, they can do that without leaving the comfort of their home. You already got a home with no father in it. Why are you taking your children--your boys in particular-- to pray to another absentee (albeit heavenly) father? You want that boy to believe in the Father, but you don't even believe in his father (the one you selected to impregnate you). Why should he trust your judgment or even believe in Judgement for that matter? I'm being too hard on the church, right? In theory, there could be some churches that do good work for the entire community. In theory, there could be some feminists that actually care about equity or equality. In theory, these things could exist along with the Lochness Monster and the Abominable Snow Man. I just don't come across them very often (read ever). When I was in Baltimore, I used to see Churches everywhere. The only thing more numerous than churches was liquor stores. What's the difference between a liquor store and a church? The liquor store has something people can use. Whenever you see a packed church, you should know you're seeing a large group of people who are asking to be robbed.

Finally, hedonism and materialism, as portrayed through mainstream rap music, must be rejected. We need to learn to live within our means and start saving. Every time I see a rapper making it rain, I know I'm looking at an idiot. He's going to be in debtor's prison in 5 or 6 years. Frugality mixed with an entrepreneurial spirit must be promoted. We must become self sufficient. I'm tired of seeing gutless black men who are afraid of their own damn shadow. "You shouldn't say these things because, even though they're true, you might upset the good white people. You might upset the spineless Negroes or feminists who act on behalf of those good white folk." This is the sentiment I come across almost daily. It's disgusting. We need to wean ourselves from the government teat. The Government should only be used in a limited capacity with the ultimate goal being to get away from it! No more running to the government for welfare, food stamps or to prosecute men you no longer like for child support or alimony. The government does have a use, but it should not be used as a crutch or a weapon because it destroys you and everyone you claim to love in the process. White people used the government to get low interests loans (FHA, GI, etc.) to finance their education, homes and businesses. They made their money, paid back the loans and reaped the benefits for generations. They were able to pass their wealth on to their children or at least leverage it on their behalf. It explains why they're able to help their kids pay for college or give them a down payment on a house and car. How many black families can do that for their children? We don't have anything so our kids start from a god-damned stand still while other kids get a running start. I'm tired of having to explain basic, elementary shit to god-damned adults.

These are just a few of the things that need to happen if there is any hope of saving the black community. The funny thing is I can get people to agree on one area (mostly the last one), but they'll clutch to one or both of the first two. They're all equally ridiculous and equally harmful. If you can't let go of them all, you're just as idiotic as the rapper making it rain in the club. We got to jettison all that shit. So far, I'm not very optimistic. I don't even see many people willing to honestly speak about these issues. They want to keep the black community on the exact same path it's currently on. In fact, they want to accelerate towards the brick wall that's directly in front of us. Superheroes shouldn't have to fight those they're trying to save.

Attack of the Drones

2011-12-13T12:47:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I read the NY Times article on the drone that went down in Iran. They’re not getting that shit back. And if they do get it back, it’ll probably go from looking like this:

To looking like this:

Seriously though, the United States wants its drone back!?!? That’s like me breaking my foot so far off up in your ass that I lose a sneaker then asking for the sneaker back. The United States wants its drone back!?!? That’s like me shooting you in your ass then asking for the bullet back. It’s not going to happen. Defense Secretary Leon E. Panetta has described the efforts to get the drone back as appropriate. What isn’t appropriate, in my mind, is a white man named Leon. I’m still waiting for him to address that issue. :o)

Ambitionz as a Writer

2011-12-10T12:14:00.148-05:00

The most unexpected email I received from my Rap on Black Feminist post was about my treatment of 2pac. At least 3 people thought I may have been too hard on him. I'm quite sure there are others who felt that way too. I did use him as an example of a feminized male using his own words, but I thought I was respectful. In any case, I do consider him to be one of the greatest rappers who ever lived and one of the greatest vocalists (note there is a difference between vocalist and singer) ever. He made every song he was on better than it would have been without him. I can say that about few others in any genre. Other than the pioneers of rap music(KRS, Rakim, etc.), no one, in my opinion, has had his impact on the art form. When he died, we literally had to live through Attack of the Clones. He was misguided and deeply troubled in some ways (is there anyone to whom that wouldn't be true?), but his artistic genius is beyond dispute. Countless rappers tried to model their albums after his: having one or two introspective tracks to break up the musical carnage. But very few had his sincerity, his courage to tell the truth from his perspective. In a way, I blog the way he rapped: with passion and blunt. Big Pun intended :0) So 'Pac, this one's for you. I've decided to flip the 1st song on his classic double album, All Eyez on Me. Yes, I'm bored and possibly insane. You try grading 100 exams and see if you aren't ready to go Hit 'em up on the 10th student that asks if you've finished grading.:-)

I won't deny it, I'm a straight writer
You don't wanna fuck with me
Got femanazis writting about me
But they can't do nuttin to A. G.

So many battlefield scars while driven to high art
This life as a blog star is nothin without heart
Was born rough and rugged, addressin her mad rubish
My attitude was, "Fuck it," cause motherfuckers love it
To be a soldier, must maintain composure at ease
But I'd rather expose ya, watch you fly apart at the seams
Uhh, and my ambitions as a writer to get her high
with the knowledge I drop inside her
Then I spit some game in her ear, "it's not about who you know"
Fuck the money and Benz, won't take you where you need to go
Stop smoking weed and being greedy before we lose you
From brothas to sistas the game's tight, the feeling's mutual
From hustlers to players to pastors and politicians who prey-
I got no time for these bitches, cause they stay trying to play us
I'm on a meal-ticket mission, want a mil' so I'm scriptin'
Competition got me ripped, on that bullshit they stressin (boo-yaa!)
I'ma rhyme though, clown foes like it's mandatory
No guts no glory, you got the game distorted
Now it's on and it's on because I said so
Won't go till all these assholes end up on Death row
Now these money hungry bitches gettin real vicious
Started plottin and plannin on schemes, to come and get us
But when you're on point and game tight (yeah)
With words and women, I rap it up the same night
Got problems then handle it,
These motherfuckers can't see me
I know they jealous cause deep in they heart they wanna be me
Uhh, yeah, and now ya got me right beside ya
Hopin you listen I catch you payin attention
to my amibitions as a writer

[singing] I won't deny it, I'ma straight writer
You don't wanna fuck with me [singing] My ambitions as a writer [singing]
Got feminazis writing about me
But they can't do nuttin to A. G. (I won't deny it, I'ma straight writer)

Peep it.. it was my only wish to rise
above these stupid, coward mutherfuckers I despise
When it's time to write, I was the first off this side,
Give me a rhyme
and I'm ready to die right here to write "motherfuck they life (yeah nigga!)"
That's what I'm screamin as I drill them, they ain't hard to kill
So I open fire at will, watch me kill them (that's all you got?) with this appeal
Written to enemies envious and after me
I'd rather die before I lie like some feminist screed (Agreed).
They can't capture me
They're suicidal when they see me blog
Because when I spit they're bullets flyin with every thought (Shoot!)
Fuck doin jail time like Rayon McIntosh
He was right to fight back and whip they ass with the rod
In rod we trust, so if you must, I say bust some more
and if they come up again
don't worry, that's why we flush for
When it's time to write to be a man and write it just like it be
Fuck beef through some tweets,
my ambitions as a writer

[singing] I won't deny it, I'ma straight writer You don't wanna fuck with me [singing]
My ambitions as a writer [singing]
Got feminazis writing about me
But they can't do nuttin to A. G. (I won't deny it, I'ma straight writer)

My murderous posts be equipped with souls of poets before me
Stayed off the blog, evade the trolls, cause I know, they lookin' for me.
I been hesitant to reappear, but when I take it there
My adversaries automatically get reduced to tears
Questioned my method to switch speeds, but as sure as you can read,
guaranteed to feel fire... whenever my pen bleeds
They put me on blast but they didn't finish, (buck buck buck buck buck)
I didn't diminish
so I'm back to be a menace to some motherfuckin' feminists,
they cowards that's why they tried to set me up
Had bitch-ass dweebs on my feed, so indeed, they scared as fuck.
But I'm back reincarnated, rejuvenated
Waiting for the perfect time for me to come and slay it
Lace em with blogs that's legendary, literary mercenary
For paper, I'll draft their fucking obituary
gettin much email and yeah, they always tellin me to spill it
Knowin every time I let out, they gon' feel it
Witness the realest, a true writer when I put the shit in rhyme
they cry...every time I blow their mind
so I must remind them
my history'll prove I been it
Revenge on those who played games and all the cowards that was down widdit
Now it's black yoda right beside ya
Hopin you listenin,
catch you payin attention
to my ambitions as a writer.

[singing] I won't deny it, I'ma straight writer You don't wanna fuck with me [singing]
My ambitions as a writer [singing]
Got feminazis writing about me
But they can't do nuttin to A. G. (I won't deny it, I'ma straight writer)

The Rap on (black) Feminists

2011-12-06T06:18:00.000-05:00

I have a theory that I think is worthy of study. I posit that “black feminists” are the equivalent of “gangsta rappers”. Yes, I know that statement will garner a strong rebuke from self-described feminists who see "gangsta rappers" as the living embodiment of misogyny and have made a living from pulling out their straps and busting caps on 'em. But hear me out before you start sending the hate male.

What is a "gangsta rapper"? It is typically a "feminized" male who subsequently acts in a “hyper masculine” way. Please take note that the important terms are in quotes. I'm talking about how they are typically (or stereotypically) considered. In other words, let's avoid the discussion of the differing definitions of the terms for the moment. I know it's possible to quibble over these definitions until they have no meaning at all, but I believe most of us have an idea of what it means to be "feminized". Most people have an idea of what it might look like to act in a "hyper masculine" way. You've seen examples of this in rappers like 2pac, Lil' Wayne, Lil B, etc. 2pac, who I respected for at least having the courage to speak honestly (however misguided at times) about the issues he saw affecting him and the black community, says as much:

"When I was young, I was surrounded by strong women.... My mother was a matriarch. If you raised by a woman you're gonna think like a woman."

I don't bring up this example to make fun of him or anyone else. In fact, it's the exact opposite: his ability to be truthful--brutally honest,even--about his situation is indicative of one of the primary qualities of being a man. It is a quality that I've seen largely stripped away from most African-American males today (including the so-called leader of the free world). I believe that he and many others recognize(d) that there is a deficit between who they are and who they feel they should be as men. I also believe that an awareness of this deficit often leads to overcompensatory behavior. For mainstream rappers, you need only check their lyrics (or Worldstarhiphop) to find examples of them lashing out in ways that suggest an underlying insecurity.

What is a "black feminist"? It is typically a "masculinized" female (taught to be aggressive) who subsequently acts in a “hyper feminine” or “femocentric” (yeah, I made that up) way. She too lashes out and you need only go to google "black feminist blog" to find as many examples as you require to be convinced. The amount of hate spewed in an average feminist blog will rival anything you've seen in rap lyrics. For each misogynistic rap song, you'll find a misandrist blog post. Pick one of the sites during your google search and post a comment that even hints that women are not eternal victims, that they bear some responsibility for their own actions and the current state of disrepair of the black community. You'll experience a roid rage like no other. And you thought this only happened with athletes and body builders. :0)

Let me be clear: I’m not saying that all "gangsta rappers" are male or all feminists are female, but I’m referring to the vast majorities here. I'm not saying that all men or women act in the same way. I'm talking about averages and approximations, not individuals. In the case of the "gangsta rapper" and the "black feminist", we’re primarily talking about walking contradictions. They are opposite sides of the same coin. In each case, we're talking about labels that were created for us primarily to destroy us. When researchers are trying to put together the pieces of what caused the extinction of African-Americans and they start giving presentations to olive-skinned audiences while flashing pictures of the last known African-Americans, I think anyone who fully delineates the theory I've put forth here today will be given a lot of credit. Their book will be up there next to Dubois' Souls of Black Folk. :o)

The Day After

2011-11-26T15:08:00.003-05:00

Well, "Black Friday" is over. I managed not to sleep in a tent this past week. I didn't trample or rob anyone at gunpoint for merchandise. I didn't buy any shit I didn't need. I guess that puts me at the Head of the Class like Howard Hesseman. Why aren't more people insulted by this yearly phenomenon? If you have a "Black Friday" then why not a "Black Weekend"? If you can have a "Black Weekend" then why not a "Black Week"? If you have a "Black Week" then why not a "Black Month"? If you have a "Black Month".....you see where I'm going with this. Once you think about that toaster oven you just waited several hours to get at a 50% discount on this one Friday, why doesn't it piss you off that you'll pay double that discount price every other day of the year? It's not like the retailers would be losing money if every day were "Black". Every damn report you hear says this is the biggest day for retailers and it regularly decides if they're going to have a successful quarter(or year even). Why aren't you pissed at the obvious price gouging that must take place the remaining 364 days in a typical year to make "Black Friday" possible and so attractive to consumers?

Anyway, was camping out for three days and knocking the walker out of Grandma's hands as a diversion on some Shane/Otis shit from "Walking Dead" really worth saving two hundred dollars on a 50 in Flat Screen? Huh?!? Was it??!? Well, that is a pretty sharp picture now that you show it to me. It came with the 3-D glasses too? Damn, I practically feel like I'm watching Avatar from inside the movie. Even as a blue monstrosity, Zoe Saldana is hot. What were we talking about again?

Boob Tube

2011-11-23T06:23:00.006-05:00

"52 people dislike the 53 people who like this blog."

I've been playing around with the idea of switching my blogging format from the written word to videos on YouTube or Gen-X. The benefits to videos are obvious. You get to cut down on the number of trolls. They are still there, but you get to eliminate those who don't want to spend time watching your video. Most trolls don't typically have that kind of patience. It's much easier for them to ignore what you said if they can see it instantly on the page instead of having to listen for the parts they want to ignore. Don't think the trolls are completely down and out. Because it may take some time to listen to what you have to say, some will be quick to critique how you look instead of the content of your video. Got lips like Angelina Jolie or Lebron's hairline? You better get ready to deal with people who can't wait to derail any possibility of a real dialogue by attacking how you look. Some vloggers get around this by hiding their identity. In my case, I'd rather handle them like Pops handles dogs in Friday:

Pops: I grab a dog. I choke him and I kick the shit out of him. All day long got my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang, bang, bang up his ass. That's my pleasure.

It seems like the perfect format for me. There are, however, some down sides to the video format. Many video bloggers suffer from one of the following maladies that I must forever be vigilant against:

The first thing one must be careful about is the abuse of the pregnant pause. Why do people do that so much? It's like they have to collect their thoughts while the camera is rolling (instead of before). The problem is they don't usually have many thoughts to collect in the first place:

"Hey y'all.....I just wanted to post a blog about something......bought to my attention....actually... someone emailed me about it....and....I felt like it was important enough to speak on....so I decided to drop my thoughts on the matter. A lot of people may disagree with what I'm about to say.....but I'm going to say it anyway......"

I can't tell you how many videos I've seen where I've watched the first two or three minutes and heard nothing but a bunch of pauses and rambling. Seriously, it's been three minutes. What the fuck are you talking about? Get to it already.

Some vloggers are nice to look at, but they are clearly deranged. You've seen it before: A chick with a nice rack and nuttier than squirrel shit. You like the way her breasts threaten to peek out of her tank top, but you turn down the volume so you don't have to hear something that goes like this:

"I only date white men. Black men are all lazy or unemployed. They're all players and thugs. I dated a black guy once and he was verbally and emotionally abusive to me. I see why my mom left my dad when I was a baby. I never had a father growing up and I think I turned out better for it. Anyway, after my brief stint stripping and doing fetish porn where I got my face transformed into a Krispy Kreme doughnut by a dozen white men dressed in Klan garb, I knew that black men weren't shit."

Not to be outdone, you'll get the emotionally damaged dude who will drop a video after a girl doesn't return his text message within an hour. Girls may think he's cute until he opens his mouth:

"This is why I don't fuck with these bitches. They feel like they can treat you anyway they want. Fuck these bitches! This is why women can't keep a good man because when they get one they treat him like shit. Well, I just want to say, "Fuck you, bitch!" You won't have me to walk over anymore. My daddy ain't take no shit from my mother and that's why he left me when I was a baby. I was fine then and I'll be fine now."

Could you imagine what he'd do if she canceled a date because of a family emergency or if she had a flat tire on the way to meeting up with him? Clearly the bitch is lying and probably sleeping around on him....lol Yeah, you'll find plenty of sideshow freaks on YouTube. They tend to crowd out the more rational voices that are less inflammatory and, therefore, less entertaining.

D.I.E.S.

2011-11-18T14:52:00.031-05:00

"Dying is everybody's struggle."

In light of the recent "assassination" attempt on our president, I had a few thoughts about death I wanted to share.

1) If I constantly look forward to the moment of my death, many would see that as a morbid obsession. But If I constantly look forward to the moment that immediately follows my death, many would see that as a testament to my faith.

2) In regard to the shooting of 2pac and Biggie, Chris Rock said, to great laughter and applause, "Martin Luther King was assassinated. Malcolm X was assassinated. John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Them two niggas got shot." We now have a case with a man(Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez) who fired two shots that had NO (absolute zero) chance of hurting the president being characterized as an assassination attempt. Does anyone really wonder why one case resulted in an arrest within a week while the other cases grow colder each year?

3) We can play politics with a bullet to a point where it takes a life of its own.

4) There is, I'm told, a difference between murder and assassination. The challenge would be to explain that difference to a grieving family member.

5) For some, death comes suddenly, unexpectedly, and swallows them whole or maybe piece by piece, surprisingly swift, or slow.

6) Death is apolitical at its core. It is handsomely rewarded by the violent oppression of a people... and their violent liberation too.

Why I must put...

2011-11-14T09:15:00.005-05:00

I've been called a lot of things over my career as a blogger: genius, provocateur, asshole (but that's usually from bigger assholes). But even more telling than the things I've been called is the one thing I've never been called: Factually incorrect. People have differences of opinion with me, to be sure, but I can't recall many times where someone has proved me to be factually incorrect. This is extraordinary given the content of my blog, don't you think? If I were factually incorrect, people would let me know and relish in telling me. It's not that I can't be wrong, and I'm perfectly willing to admit when I am, but it doesn't happen often. And the reason why it doesn't happen often is I'm good at separating how I feel about something from what I know to be true. For example, I recently read a proof that shows one plus one is two. On the surface, it seems like a fairly simple task, but it's quite complicated. Imagine trying to prove one plus one is two without using one or two or simply giving an example. One student looked at me like I was a retard when I posed this problem to the class. He held up a pencil, and then he held up a second pencil and said, "Here's one pencil. Here's another pencil. Together, I have two of them." He said this even after I told them that an example wouldn't be sufficient to prove the statement....lol. Anyway, there are elegant proofs out there that are well thought out (logical) and reproducible. I know this to be true. And when I know something to be true, I'll comment with confidence.

I'll also comment on things that are my opinion. However, in these cases, I look to the preponderance of the evidence. I ask myself if this makes sense. Judge Judy often says "If it doesn't make sense, it isn't true." I would say if it doesn't make sense then you can't know if it's true. You might be surprised how little people apply this simple yet effective philosophy for separating the real from the bullshit. For example, I know people who claim gay marriage is a sin. I've also heard people say Barack Obama is the culmination or fulfillment of MLK's dream. Are any of those statements true? Well, I suppose you can't say either way with 100% certainty, but ask yourself if these statements make any sense. Ask yourself what the preponderance of the evidence says. In the first case, there is no evidence. It's based on your religion or, as I would say, based on nonsense. In the case of the second statement, the evidence contradicts this statement. MLK worked primarily outside of the political establishment, not for it. He brought pressure to bear on the political and economic institutions, not the people those institutions preyed upon. He was organizing a Poor People's Campaign to occupy Washington D.C. His last speech was in support of sanitation workers seeking to unionize. Obama's no more the culmination of MLK's work than Superhead is the culmination of Harriet Tubman's work. When I say things in this raw and rugged fashion, I know it rubs some people the wrong way, but the conflation of fact with fiction is such that I can think of no other way to convey the gravity of the error to people. I've reached a point where I can no longer tolerate the bullshit or those who push it. Conservative commentator and sexual deviant Bill O'Reilly typically begins his show by saying, "Caution: You're about to enter a no spin zone." I won't even pretend to promote such a bold-faced lie. There can definitely be spin in my zone. If you come into my blog with some bullshit, I'll spin your ass like a top.

Maybe I'm not being clear to some of the dumber people who comment on my site. Let me break it down Dr. Seuss style:

I don't give a fuck if you don't think the sky looks blue.
I don't give a fuck that you don't think one and one is two.
I don't give a fuck if you think pigs go...moo.
I don't give a fuck if you think old is new.
I don't give a fuck if you can't tie your shoe causing you to trip and fall while playing your kazoo right smack dab into a pot of beef stew.
I don't give one fuck; no boys and girls, not one fuck about you.

I don't give a fuck if you're always late.
I don't give a fuck if you weigh 1000 lbs and say you're not overweight.
I don't give a fuck if you walk with a limp and claim it's your gait.
I don't give a fuck if you're cross-eyed but think you see straight.
I don't give a fuck if you fish with no bait or skate on a lake where the thin ice may break.
I don't give one fuck--that's right, boys and girls-- not one fuck for fuck's sake.

The reason why I'm right about so much right now and why I will be proven right about so much more in the future is I don't give a fuck about nonsense no matter how you try to spin it or package it. I don't give a fuck about which way you vote. I don't give a fuck about the mechanisms you use to cope. I don't give a fuck about who you know or what you wear. I don't give a fuck; No, I do not fucking care. Sorry, I got stuck back in Seuss mode for a minute. Anyway, I simply ask myself the flowing question: Does what you're saying make any sense? If the answer is no, then fuck off. I will tell you this to your face. I don't care if you're a rocket scientist or a porn star or the president. The bottom line is you really shouldn't comment on anything I post if you're not prepared to get an honest response. They're plenty of people who will lie to you as much as you lie to yourself. Seek them out. I realize most people aren't like me in this way. People tend to suspend reason when they make an emotional connection. I just try to minimize that when I know I should or at least be honest with myself and you when I can't.

Super Nova-Cain

2011-11-10T12:55:00.003-05:00

Herman Cain has been taking a bit of a beating recently with the claims of sexual harassment by several women. People stay trying to blow up his campaign, but he keeps on trucking like he doesn't even feel it. It has to be affecting him on some level though. It seems like no one wants to publicly stick up for the guy. The media is all over this because the only thing they love more than a spectacular rise is a spectacular fall. The sharks smell some blood in the water, y'all!! Being the contrarian some of you think I am, I've decided to help him come up with a defense since this dumb-ass seems incapable of adequately preparing for what should be both obvious and predictable. Here's some free advice to Herman Cain: If you have any illegitimate children out there anywhere, please start working on your answer right now. If you've ever done any kind of drugs, start working on your excuse now. They aren't going to sweep it under the rug like they've done for every single president(including the current one).

Let's get to the heart of the matter, shall we? One woman has accused Herman Cain of groping her and trying to force her head onto Herman's Cain. Besides the fact that it seems strange that he would get an opportunity to do both (one of those unwanted actions should be sufficient to elicit a strong rebuke in my opinion), here are a couple of ways he could defend himself against this accuser.

Defense 1:

According to one accuser (Sharon Bialek), Cain said the following during the alleged assault, "You want a job, right?" The implication here is that Cain wanted sex in exchange for a job. Well, maybe Cain did say that, but not in the way she portrays it. Maybe she came on to him. Maybe she groped him. Maybe he was the one who pulled away. Maybe in a state of complete shock and disgust, he exclaimed, "Hey, I thought you wante(ed) a job. Right?!?" See what a little creative editing can do? She may be purposely taking his words out of context.

Defense 2:

Maybe Cain simply misunderstood what she meant when she asked for a job. Maybe Cain thought he was simply responding to her request in the most efficient way possible. How so? Remember she said Cain tried to force her head towards his crotch area. Why might he do this? Well, maybe he was just trying to give her the opportunity to do the best kind of job in the world :0)

But seriously, leave Herman Cain alone. Black Yoda doesn't see a problem with Herman Cain constantly referring to himself in the third person. Black Yoda doesn't think this makes Cain seem like an "ego-cainiac". Black Yoda is tired of the media constantly referring to him as a PIZZA c.e.o as a way of minimizing his executive and business experience. He was the H.N.I.C, not the guy doing the cabbage patch on the street corner while holding up a sign advertising a 999 deal. Finally, Herman Cain needs to realize that sometimes the best defense is a good offense. He needs to get some celebrity star power behind him. Drop a duets CD featuring some of today's biggest pop-stars. Recall that on one of Snoop Dogg's biggest hits, What's My Name, he rapped: "Long Beach is the spot where I served my Cain." Maybe Cain could chop and screw this line into a hit single. At the very least he could start doing background vocals or hooks for other artists. I think he could turn everything around with one hit single. He won't even have to sexually harass girls anymore if he has a hot single on the charts.

The Old Man and the C-4

2011-11-04T12:40:00.003-04:00

"Cyber terrorists at work."

I mentioned this story earlier and it's still not getting the kind of coverage it deserves. A bunch of old, white men planned on carrying out a terrorist attack using toxic substances and high powered explosives. Why hasn't the threat alert been raised to a (denture) cream color? I recently read an article that said that old people are among the most vocal anti-government critics. Anti-government? That sounds dangerously close to Anti-American. It sounds dangerously close to treason. Why aren't we doing more to address this threat? I think it has a lot to do with the media. Think about the faces on the evening news: it's one Shar Pei looking newscaster after another. When they're not on screen, we're subjected to commercials for Viagra, Cialis, Denture care, funeral coverage, etc. We see drug commercials featuring old people pretending like they still have lives. We see them sailing, dancing, horseback riding, etc. We all know most old people don't have lives. What old person really wants to do the fox trot(or do anything else)with someone who has to take a pill to battle incontinence? Stop with the lies. Most old people aren't out there hiking trails and enjoying the rustic scenery. They're sitting in a recliner watching the aforementioned commercials over their gut while waiting for Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy to come on. But we're finding out they're not all happy and jolly like Santa Claus, are they? Some of them are quite mobile and up to no good. Now back to these newscasters and commentators: Sam Donaldson? George Will? Ted Koppel? Who's making their toupees? China? They're clearly bought and paid for by the enemies of this country. Listen to how these terrorists are characterized by the members of media similar to the ones above. They've been referred to as "members of a fringe militia group." A fringe Militia group? Is that what we're calling the AARP these days?

I think we need to start taking these threats seriously. Yesterday I saw a bunch of old, white people walking around the mall. The mall wasn't even open yet. What were the doing? Casing the joint? Looking for security and structural weaknesses? I called the 800 Tip number to report the suspicious activity and nothing was done. You can't take a plane if your name is Muhammad without enduring a full body probe. TSA will search your toddler's underoos for C4, but they do nothing when potential terrorists are circling a high traffic area? This is insanity.

So what should we do? I have some recommendations. We need to expand surveillance on this high risk group. I want every bingo hall, retirement home and senior center monitored by trained homeland security agents. We've got to take the fight to them. I want to raid every Denny's in Florida. Knock over a Grand Slam breakfast or two. Slap a few walkers out of some hands. It's time to let these motherfuckers know we're here and we're watching them. I want to bug all hearing aids. We need to hear what they obviously can't. I want to implant video recording devices in their reading glasses and, in some cases, directly into their corneas. The doctor can tell them it's a cataract. I want Chuck Norris, Angela Lansbury, Andy Griffith, Alex Trebek and Wilford Brimley rounded up and interrogated. They're clearly the leaders of the old community. They're all still alive, right? Look people, I'm trying to make this country safe for law-abiding citizens. We don't have the luxury of being more concerned about the civil liberties of potential terrorists than with the safety of our own patriotic citizens. FYI: Cyanide poisoning looks just like a heart attack if you don't investigate too closely...I'm just saying. I understand this may seem a bit extreme to some, but if you really want to see extreme, look into the new, old face of terrorism. It's right to be afraid and it's your right to be afraid.

Politickin'

2011-11-02T09:04:00.008-04:00

"A resurrected MTV Cribs will be showcasing this house in 2025."

I was politickin’ with a friend a few days ago about the protests and what they represented. I gave her my ideas and I thought I would share them with you. I was talking in jest, but the more I think about it, the more I’m thinking there’s a very real possibility of some of these things coming to pass.

By now everyone knows about the occupy Wall Street protests. You might have seen the little shanty towns popping up in parks. You’ve probably seen your local politicians scrambling to come up with ways to get rid of them without making the city look like the police state that it’s becoming or, in some cases, already is. The politicians may belong to different parties, but the end result is pretty much the same, isn’t it?

Republican Mayor: Throw those hippie-looking, marijuana-smoking, drum-beating, public-defecating, ass holes in jail.

Democratic Mayor: While I support your right to peacefully protest and, to some degree, join you in spirit, my job is to protect the citizens of this city. Unfortunately you’ve broken Section 7 of Law 48-746- A sub-paragraph B (that I didn't know about until today). You’ve forced my hand here. I have no choice but to evict you or arrest you. Translation: Your hippie-looking, marijuana-smoking, drum-beating, public-defecating ass is about to occupy a jail cell if you don’t get the hell on.

As funny as many find these little tent cities, take a good look at them now because you will recognize them in the future. You're looking at the future of the middle class...lol. Couples will be putting in 70 hours a week to pay off the mortgage on their brand new tent. Motherfuckers will be bragging about the quality of tarp they use. "I only fuck with 100% cotton. Fuck that cheap ass polyester." The bills you pay for utilities will consist of Water: using the communal hose/spigot and a Port-a-potty, Gas and Electric: huddling around a fire pit to cook and stay warm and Cable: watching network television that is currently free on a portable, 10 inch black and white television screen. What about the upper middle class? Well, it will be a much smaller sliver of the population, but it will still be there. Can you say double wide?

"You got to be ballin' like an NBA player not on strike to live here."

Trailer parks will become the new upscale gated communities. And finally, what about the mega rich? Their lifestyle will remain relatively unchanged. But you already knew that, didn't you?

As bleak as it may look for people here, it's going to get much worse in other places much sooner. I told my friend that Africa is going to continue to get the Kaddafi treatment i.e. a sharp stick up the ass. I keep telling people that you can’t have infinite growth on finite resources. You’re going to hit a wall eventually. Maybe we can avoid it until we add another billion people or two. Whatever the magic number, I just hope I'm gone before the shit gets too bad (sorry young people). I know the plan to avoid the inevitable is to develop "renewable energy" sources and heavily exploit the African continent, but there's no way the rate of technological advancement can keep pace with energy demands. By the way, does "renewable energy" even make sense? Renewable? Aren't we really talking about simply taking advantage of a previously untapped resource or perhaps being more efficient with the ones we're already tapping? I'm not sure why you would characterize it as something that can be restored or replenished. It is what it is. In any case, we’ll soon have another billion people on the planet (in 12 years or so) and I can tell you a couple of solar panels glued to your roof ain’t gonna cut it. You better prepare for some "austerity measures" and rationing under the guise of increasing standards. You also better expect much more global instability in the coming decades, particularly in Africa, as their growing population comes to realize and rail against the unprecedented level of exploitation and violence they're experiencing at the hands of other nations directly or through puppet regimes.

Revelations

2011-10-30T01:23:00.011-04:00

Four Horsemen/women: The Drug Dealer, The Black Feminist, The White Apologist and...another Feminist. Hey, you should always go with a winning hand.

Please take a moment and check out Yvette's blog on Rethinking Deadbeat Dads. It features a video with an 18 year old named "Jasmin" breaking down because she has no father in her life. Last week, people were talking about an even younger lady recorded performing a sexual act in a public place. At what point do people start waking the fuck up to what's going on? Check out this article from Jamilah Lemieux. I'm trying to come up with a nice way of describing her views, but doing so is like trying to praise Sarah Palin or Herman Cain for being intelligent. Truthfully, I don't think it can be done. At the very least, she's purposely obtuse and, at the very worst, quite evil. Take a moment to read her take on the situation. She takes a situation involving children engaging in sex acts and suggests that perhaps she simply enjoys it and that we should stop policing black women's sexuality. She wonders if the young girl truly consented before doing a Superhead impersonation. She believes the boys may have been manipulative, coercive even. Seriously, this is her take on the situation.

Make no mistake ladies and gentlemen, she or someone just like her is one of the four horsemen/women of the apocalypse. She is the harbinger of doom in the black community. The black community cannot possibly survive with people like this spreading their pathology and being given a large platform to do it. First, no one should be watching or distributing child pornography. I shouldn't have to say that, should I? Adults should not be attacking children or making them the subject of scorn or ridicule. She's right about this (and little else). No one deserves to be dehumanized, especially when we are talking about the most vulnerable members of society--the children. This is a lesson Jamilah Lemieux apparently hasn't learned or doesn't care to. In her quest to "humanize" and empower the the young girl, she dehumanizes all of the boys--knowing nothing about any of them--by calling them pigs.It's clear to me that she doesn't care about the boys. It's also clear she doesn't really care about the girls either. After all, the issue here isn't about policing women's sexuality, is it? SHE'S 14!!! She's simply using her case as a way of pushing her misandrist agenda.

Here's a proper analysis of the situation. It's not the only analysis you can give, but it's the only one that's not insane and morally repugnant. We have a case where several children made poor decisions simultaneously. And, in the case of the person or persons who recorded and uploaded the video, those decisions should have legal ramifications. The children engaging in the sex act in a public place were both wrong on several levels. The children who recorded the act and posted it online were wrong on several levels. The question we should ask is: How do so many children make the exact wrong decision at the same time? The answer to that question requires an examination of their home life. I would be shocked if there is a single man of the house for the kids captured on video. When I say man of the house, I don't mean an uncle who plays Santa during the Holidays. I'm not talking about a Nigga who's on a first name basis with the kids. I'm not talking about the loser who comes by after 10pm to twist the moms out a couple of times a week. I'm talking about a man who is the head of the household. I'm talking about a man who lives in the house and sets the rules. I'm talking about a man that sets high expectations and sees that they are met. I'm talking about a man who is physically and emotionally present in the lives of his children.

I already know the objections that will be made against my position. "How can you say things would be different even if a great father was in the house? There are kids who come from two parent households that are dysfunctional." Fuck...do you know how retarded this argument is? Let me put it this way: Black people are the gamblers and white people are the house. White people own the casino. They make money all the time and will watch you if they see you doing too well for yourself. Black people just put in what little money they have, pull the handle on the slot machine and hope they win. And guess what? Sometimes they will win, but do you want to bet your future on that? Financially, who do you think will be better in the long run even if you can point to several black million dollar winners from the casino? Well, it's like that when it comes to parenting. White people got the whole damn househould involved in raising kids. We come in, riding solo, and roll the die. Do I really have to sit here and argue that children are going to be better off on average with two parents? Do I really? Yes, it seems like I do :o( Do you know what white people do when they see this fuckery online or on television? They either a) laugh or they b) say the same thing as the police officers at the end of "Undying Love" by Nas just as the track fades out (I just wanted to plug that track, but really listen to it). Anyway, I can't say I completely blame them. Think about it. You hear me saying:

"This girl clearly is vying for affection from a man and, at her age, it should be from a father. The boy in the video clearly lacks the type of guidance that only a father can give. A father shows his son how he's supposed to treat a woman. And he does this by having a healthy, loving relationship with the son's mother."

In response, you hear a woman tell me:

"Stop policing black women's sexuality. Maybe the child enjoys sucking dick. Stop dehumanizing a girl you don't know and start dehumanizing the boys you don't know."

From an outsider's perspective, especially one who grew up in a functional household, what might he or she think? Exactly! But here's something to remember, white folks: The chicken heads you create through the fuckery you've engineered into our community will eventually come home to roost. And it won't be with black men. Don't believe me? Check YouTube for all the lost negresses singing the praises of white men. Oh yes, that shit will eventually come back to you just like rap music.

But seriously, when I read shit like Jamilah's article, I wonder if she wasn't sent right after Stinkmeaner.

"You will succeed where Stinkmeaner failed. Continue to spread ignorance and chaos. The black community will be no match for you."

Is she really as evil as I think she is? I hope not, but she probably is. I wonder if these feminazis all communicate with a Borg queen to get instructions on what to say or are they programmed with every thing they need to know before they leave the pod?

"I'm Gloria Steinem, Bell Hooks and several Slut walk protesters combined."

I don't know what happened to her to make her hate men--black men in particular--but I'm as certain that she does as I am that she would deny it and offer up her current relationship as proof. I'm as certain that she hates men as I am certain that she and the girls in these videos have been seriously hurt by men in the past. They all need some serious help and I hope they get it before they do irreparable harm to themselves and others.

A blog about blogging

2011-10-28T08:00:00.003-04:00

"Shout out to the criminally underrated Masta Ace"

The cool thing about blogging and posting on different websites is you never know who is going to read it. I don't get many page views in part because I don't promote my blog. I don't promote my blog because I don't care to. I don't post blogs for them to be read. On the surface, this seems ironic. Why publicly post things if you don't want them to be read? Well, it's not that I don't want them to be read. I'm just not preoccupied with page views. I write them simply because the writing relaxes me. Also, it will make a nice record of the things I actually thought at the time and serve as proof of my willingness to speak them.

Despite the relatively few page views, I've gotten responses from all over the world. To post on a blog is, as former poet laureate Billy Collins might say, to "drop a mouse into a poem and watch him probe his way out." Your words may move around the internet influencing the mind of readers you will never meet or they might stay in your small corner of the web and never be seen by anyone. If they are seen, you never know how people will interpret your words or what conclusions they might draw. Sometimes they'll understand you. Sometimes they won't. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Why aren't more black people protesting?

2011-10-22T12:48:00.008-04:00

If you're familiar with my blog, then you know I like to sugar coat things. I don't like to speak my mind for everyone to hear. I'm not the kind of guy who likes to rock the boat. This blog will be no exception to the rule. :0)

I wrote about the occupy protests a little while ago, but I haven't been a part of the Occupy Atlanta protest as of yet. That's why I'm going to check it out for myself today. I must admit it's not for completely altruistic motives. Killer Mike and Afrika Bambaataa are supposed to perform today at a Hiphop festival. Killer Mike is a must see off the strength of this track alone. It got me thinking about why Black people(myself included) haven't been more involved with the protests. There are some actively involved, to be sure, but not nearly as many as you might think given that the black community has traditionally been where the conscience resides--if one can be found-- in this country.

There are a few basic reasons that explain our relative lack of participation in my opinion. First, I think some perspective is needed here. If white people were suffering like black people are suffering right now, they would be rioting(not simply protesting). So perhaps the better question is: Why aren't we rioting? Oh, you don't want to talk about that, do you? That's too uncomfortable, isn't it? That would be counter productive, wouldn't it? Well, I think that explains why many black people aren't protesting. We are well beyond the point where protesting would be an appropriate response to our treatment and condition. We just saw a pretty good example of offline and online protest with the Troy Davis case. It amounted to a total of jack shit. I signed petitions, made phone calls and attended rallies even though I didn't think it would make a difference for reasons I articulated here. What has protest really gotten us? The opportunity to vote in an African-American president who disrespects us? The ability to say we voted thereby honoring the sacrifice made by Civil Rights leaders and activists of the past? You probably believe our "success" in Iraq makes the sacrifice of thousands of men and women worth it too, don't you? Of course you don't. Why not? Because you're not an idiot. Voting for a corrupt politician doesn't honor those who sacrificed their lives. Putting more lives at risk because you don't want to admit thousands have died for nothing isn't how you honor the dead. I think many black people know exactly how this country operates and figure it's better to apply what little energy they have towards trying to survive in this oppressive system rather than topple it. Personally, I think the protests can be useful in helping with the latter.

I also know that most good people have an aversion to jail. When you're black, they don't need a reason to throw you in a cell.

"Who needs evidence? That's what lies are for. "

When your white, rich or famous, activism can make a certain amount of sense. If a Nobel Peace Prize winner goes to jail, it makes the news. People say, "Oh, that famous activist went to jail. How cute." It'll just give him or her something else to write about or talk about during the interview on NPR. If Cornel West goes to jail, his colleagues will give him a pass. It might even be seen as good press for him and his school. His street cred goes up just like a rapper when he goes to jail (By the way, isn't it about time someone writes a famous blog from a Birmingham jail?). For West, jail time is just a sabbatical. That's not to take away from the people who do what he does because there are Nobel Peace Prize winners who clearly don't give a damn about the principles of peace or justice. My point is Jail for Cornel West isn't the same as jail for Darnell, the Nigga who empties trash at the airport. You think his supervisor will respect his principles? You think he can afford to leave that $8/hr job? You think he can afford all the legal fees he'll incur as a result of his arrest? Well-to-do and White people can better navigate their way through the justice system. Going to jail won't mean they're homeless when they get out. Going to jail won't mean they're unemployed when they get out. They've got resources. I don't mean all of them, but let's not pretend we don't know the stats.

There's something else to consider. Going to jail doesn't destroy the future employment opportunities of white people like it does to black people. If a white boy goes to jail, he can explain that away to his potential employer. "Yeah, you know, it was my activist phase. I was working with PETA. There was a plot to break into a company that was doing product testing on animals and free them." White people can wear hemp, smoke a little bud, engage in a little Eco-terrorism and it's cool, especially if he's looks like a clean cut, suburbanite. Let a black person say he went to jail. What will future employers think? Do you even have to ask? In their mind, he was either banging or slanging. And either way, no one is hiring his black ass so he might as well steal a dollar out the cash register so he can get his 15 years of three squares and a cot.

Black Justice League

2011-10-19T13:31:00.004-04:00

I came across this story about a bootleg vigilante watching the streets of Seattle. He goes around with ~~roach~~ pepper spray trying to break up drunken bar fights or something.

White Knight: But ma'am, I'm here to save you!!!

It's pretty idiotic, but I imagine it makes him feel something like Batman. By the way, I just watched Batman: Year One. Not too bad. Anyway, I imagine our cape-less crusader was perched on his haunches at the top of a building overlooking our fair city. Then, suddenly, he hears a cry for help. "What’s that?!?" he says. There’s clearly a brouhaha taking place in the far distance. Our hero jumps into action. He runs to the access door (I picture a rooftop like the one used in Living Single) and makes his way to the elevator. Unfortunately, it's taking too long for it to get to the top floor so he runs down the thirteen flights of steps to the ground floor. He bends over, his hands planted firmly on his knees, and takes a couple of deep breaths because 13 flights is quite a workout. He runs through the lobby and out the door of the main entrance. He's running as fast as he can, but he can't get there fast enough. He ~~steals~~ commandeers a parked bicycle and starts to peddle his ass off. Unfortunately, he's lost his bearings with the adrenaline rush and can't quite figure out where the action is. He listens intently for a few moments and finally realizes it's on the other side of a busy two lane highway complete with a concrete divide. He makes his way to the crosswalk and pushes the button. That's taking too long so he ditches the bike and cuts across the street and hops the border dodging several cars, trucks and tractor-trailers in the process. He finally arrives on the scene where the police have been for the past 5 minutes. Unfamiliar with the exploits of our hero, the police officer asks him, "Did you just dash across that busy street? I'm going to have to write you a citation for jaywalking. Can I see some ID, please?" Our hero responds,"ID? I can't reveal my true identity. If my enemies ever found out who I am, no one I know would be safe. They would harm them to hurt me. I'm sorry officer. I can't do that." The officer says, "I'm going to ask you one more time to show some ID." Our hero flees the scene only to be tackled, tazed and placed in the back of a squad car with the very same perpetrator who was the source of the disorderly conduct that initially grabbed our hero's attention. The perp looks at our hero and says, "When we get to jail, I'm going to rape you. After all, every hero needs a back story marred by pain and helplessness." At this moment our hero realizes the drawback of his latex rubber costume: no pockets to keep his ID. There is an upside, however. The latex in his costume can be turned into makeshift condoms that might help him out if his future violators are honorable enough to practice safe sex. The moral of the story? Unless you have this…

and this...

and one of these....

...stay your ass inside. Instead of trying to be like Batman, why don't you try getting money like Bruce Wayne? Having said that, if we are going to have superheroes, there are a few black superheroes I would like to see appear in the black community. Like to hear it; here it go:

Bro Logico: He flies in to stop moments of nignorance. You'll find him mostly inside the public schools and outside rap concerts and the club. He likes to hammer out differences between people in nonviolent, non-exploitaive ways, but this isn’t always easy or even possible. His arch nemesis is Coonsday. Never heard of him, have you? That’s the half brother of Doomsday, the one who “killed” Superman. They both grew up together. No daddy in the home of course. Coonsday has the ability to inhabit people and cause great emotional harm. What Doomsday accomplishes through outward violence, Coonsday does through self-hatred and shucking and jiving. You saw what Doomsday did to Supes, right?

Well, let’s just say it’s going to be an uphill battle for our protagonist.

Ice breaker:

Half man, half machine. Ice Breaker is powered by black ‘criptonite’. He is able to resist the overwhelming power of group think. Not only will he think for himself, anyone in his presence will be able to do the same as well. Of course you can elect not to think for yourself because it would be ironic if he forced you to think any particular way. But you still have to choose not to think, don't you? And that's how he gets you.

Black Panther: Black Panther isn’t afraid of being black. He isn’t afraid of being who he is and thinking like he does. He's not preoccupied with how others perceive him. He hasn't been domesticated like most other cats. He’s no tabby and that ain’t too shabby.

Black Puma: Married to Black Panther, she's quite the Cougar. She’s smart AND supportive. Her other powers include honesty, self-respect and a willingness to take responsibility for her decisions.

Together, they form the Black Justice League. They had a lair, but they were victims of a subprime mortgage. The recession hit, the value of their lair went down and their interest rates went up. In other words, they got got. Hey, no supergroup is perfect. It’s tough to save the world and manage your finances at the same time. If you're willing to be an intern, email your resume. Yes, it's unpaid, but at least you won’t feel dirty for doing it like you would working at B.E.T. or on the Maury show.

Pinky and the Cain

2011-10-17T17:54:00.002-04:00

Pinky:"Gee, Cain, what do you want to do tonight?"
Cain:"The same thing we do every night, Pinky--try to take over the world!"

People have criticized Herman Cain—and rightly so, I might add—for his conciliatory approach during the Civil Rights Movement. What’s missing from this critique is the acknowledgement of how common Cain’s approach was and still is, even among his detractors. I have heard from a number of Obama supporters who believe Cain’s aversion to issues of social justice disqualifies him from being president in their eyes. Really? Exhibiting cowardice in the face of racism and violence makes him unfit to lead this country? Is that really the argument you want to make? LOL! Let’s be honest: Herman Cain's cowardice was quite common during the 1960’s and it’s equally prevalent now. I know people all love M.L.K. and can't imagine how anyone could be against him. It would be being going against Santa Clause, right? Well, let me burst your bubble. Most black people were just like Herman Cain back then and most people are like Herman Cain now when it comes to activism. Most of you would have sat your black ass down right along with Herman Cain. Back in the 1960’s, I could understand why some people would feel that way. Many people were just trying to eke out a life for themselves and not become the victim of a lynching or a fire bombing. Many people weren’t too keen on the idea of having fire hoses or dogs tearing at their flesh. Some were just broken by the circumstances of their lives. It was only a small percentage that was actively involved in the Civil Rights Movement. You never get that picture of the past with the documentaries of that era, do you? They make you think almost all black people were down. They make you think we all formed human chains, singing spirituals. They make you think we all rode together, right? Wrong. The thing is, I’m not even mad at people who sat it out as long as they’re honest about it. But people won't do that. Forty years later everyone was down with the movement. You a lie! And you apparently raised a bunch of liars if you go by the elected leadership and the people who support them.

If you look at what MLK was doing near the time of his death, it shows how little things and people have changed from then to now. When King delivered his last speech, he was speaking primarily about poor, black sanitation workers who wanted the right to join a union to achieve better working conditions. Now ask yourself: Where were you and your elected leaders during the Wisconsin Protests when the right for public unions to collectively bargain was being dismantled? Were you saying something like this:

Maybe you were, but did you show up? I have more respect for people who simply say they don't give a shit or don't want to get involved instead of saying one thing then doing the exact opposite. Maybe he didn’t have a pair of comfortable shoes. Maybe one of his supporters could offer him their bedroom slippers for the next protest. I hear slippers are pretty comfortable.

King died while he was in the process of organizing a Poor People's Campaign. This campaign would no doubt be an eyesore wherever it occurred much like the occupy protests popping up all over the nation. It would also receive the same reaction from the republicans who pretend to understand the meaning and spirit of Dr. King’s words. But where are the black people during these current crops of protests? Why aren’t we taking advantage these protest to our own benefit? Why aren’t we supporting these protests in any way we can? Why aren’t we even talking about it? I’ll tell you why. It’s because many of us have had our spirits broken. We’ve been disappointed time after time. We now act as if change isn’t possible. If these protests were to bear significant fruit, I imagine in 30 years a bunch of old ass Negroes will be making appearances on documentaries and chastising the young folk for being apathetic. They will wax poetic about the time they were on the forefront of the current movement. Revisionism has always been easier than revolution.

OTW

2011-10-11T10:50:00.009-04:00

"Only 28 dollars and you too can become part of the movement....lol"

With protest movements popping up all over the country, they are starting to become a part of the national dialogue, as it were. At first, the media tried ignoring them. That's become difficult to do because they're appearing in so many places. We see little shanty towns popping up inside our parks and outside our town halls. The media has been openly hostile with them and for good reason. When I say "the media", I'm not talking about your local reporter or talking head, I'm talking about the handful of individuals Like Rupert Murdoch who control the television networks, newspapers, the radio and the Internet. I'm talking about those individuals who have the ability to shape the broader discussion. They determine the parameters of the debate if one is to be had at all. I am free to reject the rhetorical framework they generate, but how many people are truly aware that such a framework even exists and that it is much deeper than some perceived liberal or conservative bias on individual issues? I can tell the truth and it reaches tens of dozens. They can lie directly or by omission and it reaches tens of millions. That's the power of the media. Going against it is like trying to stop an oncoming flood with your urine stream.

The same hostile media that tried to ignore them in the beginning now tries to attack them by characterizing them as disorganized and confusing. They ask,"What is your agenda?" Agenda? You're asking this question to someone in a movement that is essentially anti-corporate? Why don't you ask the guy urinating by the bushes? He probably keeps the minutes. Some people give cogent responses as to why they are there. Some have a sense of why they are there, but they may be unable to articulate why for a number of reasons. I think it's a good thing that there is no specific "agenda". There is no agenda to be co-opted or "co-sponsored" by the same corporations that control the government. And trust and believe they will attempt to create an agenda so they can control it. They'll try anything if it will give them the ability to put their stamp on the movement: slap some bumper stickers on a porta-potty (when they can find one), put a NASCAR jacket on a bum, whatever.

In trying to take over and ultimately destroy the protest, the media typically tries to identify a central spokesperson, a charismatic leader to represent the movement. One of the things the media tries to do--quite brilliantly, I might add--is appoint individuals as leaders of a movement if none seek the lime light. Why? If you can get the people to look to or defer to a leader, then you only need to destroy one man (or woman) to effectively destroy that movement. You only need to expose the hypocrisy of one person to de-legitimize the entire movement. You only need to destroy one person to get the people to become disillusioned and fall back. Cut the head off and the body will die. We've seen that with the black empowerment movements in the 1960's. For example, make Martin Luther King THE black leader. Once you destroy him, the people will become docile for at least a generation or more with the ripple effect. Good plan, right? Having no central spokesperson or leader is a good thing in this case. It doesn't matter if this movement is predominantly white and/or middle class and wrought with the problems and contradictions that come with that demographic. It can still be useful and it should be used insofar that it can promote positive change.

Some well-intentioned people will still ask,"Why are they there? What is their purpose?" These people should be speaking to their elected representatives at the local, state and federal level. They should ask their elected officials, "How are you going to address them or their concerns?" When you get the answer to that question, you'll know why they're there. Hell, you'll probably join them.

My Healthcare Bill

2011-10-10T09:13:00.007-04:00

I sat through a healthcare meeting last week. It lasted for an hour. Words were said. PowerPoints were presented. Questions were answered. But, if I had to sum up the content of the meeting, I could do it in less than 10 seconds: The quality of coverage is going down and the price of coverage is going up. In my case, it's going up by 17% this year to be precise. I seem to remember the President saying the price of coverage would go down, but maybe I don't understand the definition of the word "down" as he used it. I've already made my thoughts known in a blog or two about healthcare back in 2009.I noted that the these large, bloated government bills are little more than slow-moving train-wrecks.

What will universal healthcare look like? I suppose we could look at Canada or England for examples. Basically, I imagine that some people without healthcare (or who can’t afford it) will be eligible for real bad healthcare and people with average healthcare will see the quality of their healthcare worsen. I guess that sucks for people like me who have average healthcare. By average, I mean the type of coverage that allows you to go to the doctor for minor things, but will not cover you if major surgery is needed even though they made you believe they would when you signed up. :-) The rich people will still be rich and they’ll get the best possible care no matter where they have to go to get it.

Nothing remarkable in what I said, right? So why is it so hard to get supporters of this monstrosity to abandon it? I have seen two consecutive years of double digit percentage increases and I expect this trend to continue for the foreseeable future. I imagine that in a year from now I'll be bitching about another double digit increase and quoting this blog in the process. My future observations will be as unremarkable and obvious as my current ones are, but I'll wager that it still won't get supporters to do anything to change course (while there's still time). What, if anything, will be enough? Supporters of this shit always tell me the same thing.

"This bill is good because you can keep your children on your healthcare until they're 26."

Motherfucker, I don't have kids and neither do you. What the fuck are you talking about? And even if you have kids today, or have a 20+ year old son or daughter who's about to be dropped from coverage, do you really think yearly double digit increases is worth a few extra years of increasingly shitty coverage? You think that's a good idea?

I hate when people try to sell me on something by bringing up points that don't apply to them or me. When I was teaching in upstate New York, I used to get kids who came up from NYC all the time. They used to stay trying to convince me why it's best to have an "empire state of mind".

"We got the best museums and cultural centers in the country."

But you've never been to a museum. Name a museum you've been to in the last 5 years?*Crickets* Have you been to the Schomburg?*Crickets*

"Yeah, well we got the best mass transportation system in the world."

Yeah, well I have something called a car that takes me to the places I want to go and I don't have to worry about being sexually harassed by a rat. There's no possibility of having some ignorant confrontation broadcasted on YouTube. And what about the smell of urine? I don't get that either?

Ken Halsband (Adam Corolla): Perfect!

Maybe it's just me, but I don't want to do something when the pros outweigh the cons. I don't consider it a win to double my housing expenses so I can live in an apartment in NYC that could fit entirely in my current master bedroom. I don't consider it a win to be able to cook breakfast and take a shit in the same room. But hey, like the president's definition of "down", I suppose we can have different definitions of "win".

Similarly, when it comes to this healthcare bill, I don't see the theoretical benefits outweighing the real fucking money they're taking from me.

Hey, at least they can't drop me if I have a pre-existing condition.

Hey asshole, you don't have a job. Unless unemployment is going to be considered a pre-existing condition, I'm not sure how this helps you. Maybe they won't drop you when you finally get a job (I hear the escort section on backpage is taking applications), but they won't do anything for you (or anyone else with this shitty coverage). Your efforts would be better spent on combating a government that creates the conditions that require expensive medical treatments in the first place. Do you realize a lot of those pre-existing conditions arise because the government is poisoning your food supply? They're pumping ~~crack~~ high fructose corn syrup...crack into your veins and then forcing you to get to get health care because you're now suffering from your addiction. Why would the government want to do this? Because doped up, stupid people are needed to support this bill and others so the government can get what little money is left after taxes and inflation.

In any case, there is a silver lining for me. There is a way for me to pay a few percentage points less. I just have to suffer through a small ~~pogrom~~ "program"...a wellness program to be exact. They get to collect biometric data on me. In addition to BMI, blood sugar and cholesterol levels, what else will it entail? I'm so glad you asked.

1. Water Displacement Test(es)

This test will require that you essentially tea bag a graduated cylinder containing ice cold water. They will measure the displacement of the water and thus determine a cc count for your balls. Ladies, don't think you're off the hook. There's a much larger flask for you. Don't wear a bra the day you test.

2. The Rectifying Exam

And you thought this only occurred on alien spaceships or during prostate exams. Basically, they play with your booty hole for an indefinite period of time with various instruments. The test only ends when you finally complain. It's a way of measuring your tolerance for getting fucked in the ass. Very useful information for the government to have. You might be thinking, "Won't word of this get out and make the test pointless?" Don't worry, the testers go through extensive training to help reassure the victims by lying about the point of the exam. "Sir, I know what you're talking about. I can assure you this is an urban legend. The rectal exam is completely necessary for health assessment. We must do a thorough search for polyps. Colon cancer is one of the deadliest and most costly forms of cancer. We don't play games here. We're trying to save lives. O.k.??" I just convinced you, didn't I? :o)

3. Let me see that tong, test

You remember them big ass tongs they used to pick up blocks of ice in the 19th and early 20th centuries? They used to deliver them for your ice box. I'm not sure how effective that would have been in keeping things cool. Anyway, now they will use something like that to measure the thickness of your nose, head (the prongs go into your ears), nipples and penis.

4.The Fryer Tuck Test

They just need a small sample. But it must be taken from the top of your head. For my deadlocked brethren, 5 or 6 dreads should be sufficient. Bangs can be used in lieu of dreads. If you don't have enough bangs, then you can grow them out and snip them until you've reached the quota. Yarmulkes will be given to cover up the bald spot if you wish.

All of this data will be collected and placed onto a microchip. For now, the chip will be placed onto an I.D. card. Eventually, they will be able to take the microchip and insert it into the body using a urethral catheter. It will be much more convenient for you. You won't have to bother walking around with a card anymore. They'll just scan your ass with a price gun and know everything about you. Welcome to the brave, new world.

Why We Need to Challenge What's Left

2011-10-07T11:52:00.002-04:00

Obama supporters do not want to see a challenger on the Left because, in their mind, Obama can only be diminished when compared to a (more) principled candidate. For them, such a challenger would be a distraction at best and a potential spoiler at worst. In their estimation, an independent or progressive candidate could only siphon votes away from Obama and this conjures up nightmares of the 2000 election. "Why risk losing the gains made during the last four years?" they will ask. That's a good question. And it's a question that we should grapple with once we can articulate what, exactly, we fear we will lose.

The ability to choose between competing visions of the future is a good thing. Yes, things may not go your way. You are not guaranteed a particular or favorable outcome for any given election. But, if we take a long view of politics, choice is the only thing that gives us some leverage in the political process, as it were. Without choice, you end up with situations like Saddam Hussein's Iraq where 100% of the people voted for him. I would typically laugh at such a result, but given the near unanimous support of Obama in the African-American community, I don't really have much room to laugh, do I? The funny thing is, even with unanimous support, people living in the "Middle East" are only one American drone attack away from having to support a brand new figurehead at 100%...lol. I guess when they're with someone, they're with someone. It can't be that they are guided by fear of what will happen if they don't vote a particular way. Thank goodness we think differently over here. :O)

Choice is a good thing. If your mind is made up, then nothing will change it. But if more information could sway your decision, then aren't you better for having that information? Or would you prefer the voter select in ignorance? Many wouldn't mind as long as the voter votes their way. I get it. And yet, you shake your head when someone supports a seemingly vacuous candidate on the other side the political aisle. If he only knew more about the candidate, he wouldn't support her, right? If the candidate had to defend his positions in an any extended way, she wouldn't support him, right? I'm assuming we have a reasonably intelligent voter. In some cases, that would be a faulty assumption, but shouldn't the goal be to increase the number of intelligent, conscientious voters? Even if knowledgeable voters disagree, I would rather see thoughtful decisions from conscientious, well-informed individuals than thoughtless decisions from members of the mob. Choice and competition force candidates to take positions and support them. Choice and competition force candidates to reveal the political calculus(for those who subscribe to such a concept)behind the decisions they make. A candidate will reveal himself or herself by what he or she chooses to say (or not say). In the context of a debate or discussion, you'll often get a fuller, more complete picture of the person.

Herman Cain revealed his thoughts on poor people in a recent interview with the Wall Street Journal saying “if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself." The typical "pull yourself up by your boot straps" (you know, the kind Obama prescribes to the black community) nonsense will play well with the talk-radio crowd—one he's used to entertaining. For the rest of us, it gives us some insight into how he sees the country. Herman Cain demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of how capitalism works. This is ironic given that one of his selling points is that he's a successful business man. Capitalism requires a pool of unemployed labor. Under this system, we can't all be rich. If we were, nobody would be. His words are empty calories to the intelligent person, but terrific red meat for his base.

We get an even fuller picture of Cain when he has to interact with challengers. The recent comments over the Rick Perry's former hunting ground, "Niggerhead", provide a great example. "Niggerhead" does more than just serve as a reminder of Perry's old stomping ground. Cain's remarks on the matter give us terrific insight into his political views. His characterization of the racial epithet as merely "insensitive" illuminates the political reality to which he subscribes. He needs to ~~segregate~~ separate himself from other candidates without doing irreparable harm to a candidate that he still believes has a chance to become the presidential nominee. He also doesn't want to anger all those bible-thumping, gun-toting (white) voters (remember them?). For me, I see these sort of political calculations as cowardice, a moral failing. But even if you do not, put forth your rationalizations and see if they—and your candidate—can stand up under scrutiny. I can completely understand why some don't want to engage in this process, but I'm not going to exempt anyone just because he or she is a Democrat or a Republican.

The benefit of candidates(or incumbents) being challenged is that it allows us to make more informed decisions. It allows us to see how our representatives treat both their adversaries and their allies. Challengers force your candidate to delineate his or her point of view on various issues. The situations may be artificial, but we get very real glimpses into their personality, their style of governance and their priorities. If you would prefer your candidate not to subject himself or herself to this process, I would argue that you would prefer to subject yourself to him or her. You've got the game completely backwards. That's why I say we absolutely need to challenge the Left—or, perhaps—what's left.

The making of a black, radical, terrorist asshole

2011-10-03T00:00:00.030-04:00

"Why do you say these things when you know [they] will kill you for it?"

This question has been posed to me several times in one form or another. People have told me I should expect assassination attempts.....because of what I write...smh. Some are actually surprised I'm still alive, prosperous even. "Shouldn't you be chilling in a cell somewhere with the rest of the Black Panthers?" This is what people have to say in response to my thoughts. The funny thing is I don't think I say things that are very controversial. I thought I was just stating the obvious. And what's obvious to me is we are in serious trouble if people are afraid to tell the truth for fear of reprisal. What does that say about your country, black people? Let me tell you what it says. It says this country ain't really yours. You're not a citizen. You're just a guest and an unwelcome one at that.

So why do I even bother writing these things? They clearly don't benefit me. In fact, they often draw the ire of those who hate the truth or love the lie. I tell the truth because it's the right thing to do. I tell the truth because I have been blessed (or cursed) in that I lack the cowardice gene that is now as prevalent in the African-American community as the racist gene is in the white community. I tell the truth so future anthropologists searching through the millions of digital cave drawings and scrawls on the defunct internet will find some evidence that we weren't all liars and idiots.

There was a comedian(whose name I forget) who told a story about having a family gathering in the ghetto. He said, and I'm paraphrasing, "Whenever you have these holiday dinners in the ghetto, you always have that one cousin who's not used to roaches." He starts suffering from what looks like a bad acid trip. He's constantly swiping at the roaches bold enough to crawl on him. He starts to scream, "What's going on here?!! Why are y'all pretending like you don't see them!!?" Well, I'm like that cousin and your lies are the roaches :o)

Let's be honest: America is just as barbaric and backwards as any other country on the planet. I would argue this country is more barbaric in some ways because they often create and facilitate much of the world's misery. I know some people won't say it, but I will: I would have no problem if this country collapsed. Let's reset. Let's start over. Let chaos ensue. I've had plenty of target practice. I'll take my chances. Who has more to lose?

Let's be honest: this "country" (read White people) got rich off of every one else and then the wealthiest among them made laws to prevent those they've exploited from doing the same. I say fuck 'em all and everyone who represents them regardless of their color. These motherfuckers will put an H.I.V. tainted hypodermic needle, a bottle filled with malt liquor and a loaded pistol in a baby's crib and then step the fuck off and just watch. They'll pay scientists to measure just how fucked up things can get and pundits to talk about how the problem lies within the black community. They'll pay these assholes to argue that our disadvantage is actually an advantage. They'll pay people to build prisons. They'll pay jailers to watch the products of these perverse experiments. Healthcare companies get paid to keep them alive long enough to fully exploit them as well as everyone who has had the misfortune of being affected/infected by their presence. Niggaz is big business! Always has been. No one else may be "real enough" to say it, but I will:

"America can eat a dick; America can lick the balls."

Why am I like this? I think I know why I am the way I am. I probably shouldn't say anything because CTU will probably use this info to profile other "potential terrorists" and take them all out in another drone attack like Anwar al Awlaki. On second thought, that probably won't happen because there aren't too many more like me. They just have to run out the clock at this point. Anyway, I was talking to my mother a while ago and she told me that I was a sensitive child, acutely aware of others around me. I actually remembered most of the examples she gave(standing up for a kid being bullied, opening doors for classmates and teachers). Some would say I had a high social IQ, but it wasn't high enough because if I knew then what I know now about what they were doing to me, I would've let the bullies have at the white boy and slammed the door in my teacher's face. In case there's still any doubt, I was introduced to racism at a very early age thanks to all of my white class mates and teachers who now undoubtedly listen to talk radio and identify as conservatives (or liberals). It took me several years before I understood what this country had in store for me. It's overwhelming when you're five and I didn't know how to process the things I was going through at the time. While my parents didn't prepare me for this reality the way I would prepare my child, I still thank them because they gave me enough support to help me shoulder the weight that I've seen crush most of my peers. My parents gave me a fighting chance and I thank them for that. Most of the black people I come across today have been broken(even if they wear a suit to work). Anyway, moms said I was very perceptive as a child. I was very good at reading people's emotions. I've gotten so good at it that people don't even need to talk to me any more. They come into my view and a fucking thought bubble appears above their head.

I can read people's game plan like I'm Alex Kidd. This is why I've always managed to stay out of trouble and avoid the pitfalls I've seen swallow up others. I can always tell when someone ain't about shit. At that point, all you'll see from me is

...a dust trail. The ability to read people is the first ingredient that makes me who I am. Next came the mathematics. I excelled in the most hated and feared subject of them all (in this country). Mathematics is all about critical thinking and observing patterns. The fact that so many people can't stand it(or me) says a lot about them and why you should avoid them. The good thing about the discipline and structure of mathematics is that the mathematically trained mind will see right through the bullshit almost instantly. That's the second key ingredient. I can sense how people feel and analyze what they say. I am sensitive to how people feel, but I can't accept bullshit no matter how heartfelt it may come across. With the right combination of these two qualities you too [Kanye voice]will get what you ask fo': a black radical /(slash) terrorist asshole[/Kanye voice].

Stop the R.A.I.N.

2011-09-25T01:33:00.003-04:00

My fellow blogger Yvette Carnell makes an excellent point when talking about how we should see our vote in much the way we see our money: something that's supposed to work for us. She's absolutely right. Voting should be seen as a transactional process. Unfortunately, many African-Americans are content to receive nothing for their vote unless we count the sticker they put on your shirt that labels you a ~~sucker~~ voter as payment. Many other African-Americans feel like it's their sworn duty to work for the politicians; they feel they must defend these politicians and support them even at the expense of their friend's and family's financial well-being. I'm quite certain there's a Chinese sweat shop owner somewhere looking at the way we're being treated and saying to himself, "Damn! I treat my people better than that." Perverse, ain't it?

I wanted to expound on the parallels between political currency(voting) and legal tender. Imagine if you were an outside observer and you saw a rapper making it rain in the club. What would you think? I'll tell you what you would think: You'd think he's an idiot. Think about what happens when someone makes it rain. They are typically throwing all of their money away in an establishment they don't own to benefit people who don't give a shit about them. Well, what would it look like to an independent observer who watches us collectively make it rain in the voting both for people who don't care about us and offer nothing in return for our vote? It's the same kind of stupid.

We need to divorce the Democratic party. Whenever I say this, I know the response:

Tweedle Dumb: if you don't vote for da Dem-o-Krats, den you must want da Re-pub-li-kans to win.

Me: No, I don't.

Tweedle Dumber: I hear dat, but if we don't support da Dem-o-Krats den we support da Re-pub-li-kans.

Me: *Rubs temple*....fuck me.

This is the type of stupidity I have to deal with. Let me clear up something because I get this comment over and over again from the two or three Obama supporters I keep as my pets. They love to claim that my critique of Obama puts me in collusion with the ~~conservatives,~~ the ~~right-wingers,~~ the ~~tea party~~...whatever the fuck they call themselves this week. Why do I say most Obama supporters are as dumb as rocks? For them, the mere fact that I think for myself and critique Obama (and their support of them) makes me a tea bagger. If Obama supports it, then it must be right. If some conservative d-bag says it, then it must be wrong. I better hope no conservative ever says 2 + 2 is 4 or other mathematically correct statements because I might have to quit my job as a math professor. I can't go around repeating tea bagger rhetoric, can I? Do you see how stupid they are? I don't give a fuck about a Democrat or a Tea Party label. That's not what defines me. I challenge these idiots (and they know who they are), or anyone else for that matter, to find one motherfucking conservative or tea bagger anywhere on earth who will read some of my blogs and conclude that I'm one of them. Go ahead. Find one. I challenge them to find one Rush Limbaugh motherfucker (wait for the prescription narcotics to pass through his system before letting him read my blog) who will cosign me. Go ahead. I'll wait. And I'll be waiting forever. This is why I call them names. Their beef with me is because I have the nerve to think for myself and be truthful. They have to come up with all kinds of excuses and absurd explanations for the shit they see. I just call a spade a motherfuckin' spade and keep it moving. Obama could say all black men should be given the Troy Davis treatment and these morons will be scrambling to come up with a way to sculpt that shit in a pan, pour some ketchup on top of it and call it meatloaf. I'm right to make fun of them and you should too.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: We've got to break free from simple ass binary politics. Refusing to support one does not mean you support the other. If you don't buy from McDonald's, does that mean you're supporting Burger King? If those two are the two most popular (or only) fast food joints in town, are you throwing your money away by going someplace else? Maybe I don't like fast food. Maybe I see what it's doing to the community. Maybe I just want a healthier option. But niggas need their nuggets and will say I'm stupid for not getting up on these dollar menu double cheeseburgers. We've got to move past this limited way of thinking about politics. Yes, it will be a rough road ahead. Yes, Republicans may win some elections (they've won them before, right?) We need to get to the point where candidates cannot assume they have our vote. They have to work for it. They have to offer something up in exchange for it. Because when we're respected as a voters, we will have more of a say in putting people in office. And once they're in office, they'll damn sure return our calls when we need them to.

R.I.P. Troy Davis

Troy Davis and the State of Black Politics

2011-09-22T17:39:00.002-04:00

"We all have opportunities to be better than we were, better than we imagined we could be. Everyone lost something with the execution of Troy Davis. Troy lost his life. Some us lost what little remaining faith we had in this country and its institutions. For those who had the power to make a difference and chose to remain silent: you lost a chance to demonstrate your humanity; you lost a chance to show you deserve a better fate than the condemned."

That pretty much sums up how I felt last night after Troy Davis was executed. There's been a pretty sizeable demonstration of online activism over the internet in the days leading up to his death. There was plenty of sadness and outrage after his death too. I'm not sure what good either has done. There were millions of signatures collected. There were jammed phone lines. There were protests. There were fervent prayers. The elected leadership and the people they put into positions of authority didn't really give a fuck about any of that though, did they?

At what point do we realize that there is a serious disconnect between the so-called leadership and the people they're supposed to represent? I often get called a hater by Obama bots because I'm critical of liars, connivers and cowards even if they're black. What they usually fail to understand is my critique is much larger in scope than one terrible politician. I'm talking about the entire black community here. Barack Obama is just a convenient starting point because most of the pea brains are infatuated with him. They think he's their boyfriend, daddy and bff all rolled into one. It's disgusting to say the least. He's an elected official. And like any elected official, you're supposed to hold him or her accountable. He or she is supposed to work for you, not the other way around. First, let me say that Barack Obama should have taken a stand in this case. I knew he wouldn't because of who he is, but this was just another moral lapse (among many) on his part. Let me handle the Obama bot talking points here: Yes, I know this case was outside of his purview. And yet, it didn't stop him from speaking out here, did it? The second thing Obama bots would say is, "Why are you even mentioning him? He's just one man. He's not the president of black America. You should be pressuring your local officials.....blah blah blah." I think I've adequately represented the drivel they would spew. Do you see how stupid they are? They put the "dumb" in dumb-ass. They assume you can't do two things at once. Everything is binary with them. If you criticize Obama, then you can't possibly be criticizing your local representatives too, can you? If you criticize Obama, you can't possibly be proactive in any way, right? I'm pretty sure I've addressed the rest of their nonsense in other blogs so I won't waste more time doing that here.

In any case, Obama should have interceded. Would it have saved Troy Davis' life? Probably not. But, after reading my initial quote, can you see how I would count this as one of those opportunities to be better than you were/are? It was an opportunity to show the country that he's not as bad as his defenders claim I portray him to be. It was another lost opportunity to start a national discussion and build momentum towards stopping the victimization of black men by the state. But that's not a conversation worth having or something worth doing to the elected leadership, is it? Obama can talk about some assholes who were imprisoned after hiking into Iran, but he can't even speak on behalf of citizens in this country who have been unfairly imprisoned and/or executed. Everyone from the President of the United States to the president of your neighborhood watch is on the fucking dole, I swear. Relatively few people actually give a shit about doing what's right anymore. They only want to do what's politically expedient. They know what buzz words to use and which ones to stay away from. They know that black rage is nothing compared to the threat of white flight. What does it say about how we are viewed in this country? What does it say about the black people who know this and still put these people into office and defend them?

We murdered Troy Davis, y'all. When you have a "black" D.A. in charge of the County where Troy Davis was tried and convicted, what quick action can you really take to counteract the one that lead to his appointment as D.A. in the first place? And why weren't we on his ass before he had an opportunity to do the kind of damage he's clearly capable of? When you have a "black" President (and Attorney General) in charge of a country, and they're too afraid of the political consequences to act against an injustice, what quick action can you really take to counteract their appointment to those positions in the first place? And why weren't we on their ass long before they got into those positions to do the kind of damage they're clearly capable of? Oh wait, some of us were. The rest of you probably called us haters and are now wondering why shit is always so fucked up. We have a Supreme Court littered with moral and mental midgets like Clarence Thomas. We have pieces of shit like Scalia who see nothing wrong with executing an innocent man as long as he's received a "fair" trial. We have a group of cowards on the bench. Who's going to change the make-up of this court? Obama? Did anyone on the court even comment? What kind of individuals is he placing on the bench? Why are we putting him in the position to make these choices in the first place? It's all connected. We had a D.A. who apparently has the power to put Troy Davis on the path to death, but doesn't have the power to save his life? Who the fuck are we, people?

I hear talk about how we need to channel our energy in the wake of Troy Davis' death. We need to be more active and engaged in our community. All of this is true, but what's the point if we can't even be truthful about what and who we see. The black political apparatus in this country is completely corrupt. It is rotten to its core. We have all of these black faces on TV and what tangible benefit do they provide for anyone but themselves? Not a God damned thing! Larry Chisolm said he was powerless to withdraw an execution order. The White House declined comment because it was inappropriate for the President to comment on specific cases. Inappropriate? This (commenting) is what was deemed inappropriate in this two decade travesty? There is virtually no local, state or national black leadership. You have always got to lead yourself and I say take every opportunity to shit on these worthless motherfuckers in the process. They love to put a black or brownish faces in charge of a perpetual death machine that feeds on black men. And all too often those token black individuals placed in "leadership" positions are just happy to be in the driver's seat instead of being the ones getting steam rolled to death. If we can't be honest about our situation, then how can we ever work honestly towards changing it? This is why I criticize Obama and others. It's not about them, you jerk. It's about all of us. It's about us getting back on the path towards independence and self-sufficiency.

The bottom line is Troy Davis died because we've allowed too many liars in our midst. They invade our living rooms through our televisions, our cars through our radios and our offices through our computers. Here's an example of what I mean by too many liars: I've been watching more and more African Americans try to figure out how they can be critical of this president and kiss his ass at the same time. News flash: You can't, but watching them try is definitely a trip. Recently I saw an example of this while listening to a discussion between Randall Kennedy and Tavis Smiley.

Watch the full episode. See more Tavis Smiley.

Kennedy tried to be a little more nuanced in his comments than I've seen him do in the past. Tavis tried to do the same. By the end of the conversation, I basically listened to twenty minutes of two negroes trying to tip toe around their real feelings because one probably knows he's being intellectually dishonest on some level and the other is afraid of being stampeded by those "rank and file" Negroes(again). FYI: that's what Randall Kennedy really thinks of black voters. Y'all nothing but some generic, facebook silhouette ass knee-grows to him. He's probably right about that even though he won't say it as bluntly as me. Every time Tavis opens his mouth you can tell he's acutely aware that professional clowns/newly minted political experts/boat ride celebrity hosts Steve Harvey or Tom Joyner are waiting to yell "Charge!" I doubt these two clowns could answer basic questions about this system of government, but they have become political experts because.....ummm....because they voted for Obama. They use their platform to shut down the kind of meaningful dialogue and the kind of critical analysis and action that will be the key towards changing our condition. Disgusting!

I'm all for more engagement between politicians and their constituents. I'm all for greater political access, more transparency in the political process and greater accountability for our elected leaders, but I realize none of this can happen with the current crop of asshole politicians you call leaders. At this point, we only have a choice between listening to someone who will lie to you or someone who will lie to themselves (then you). That's not really much of a choice, is it? This is why I say the first step towards emancipation must involve rejecting this current political system. What should be the alternative? I have my views on the matter, but even if I didn't, this is one of the rare occasions where I can safely say nothing is better than something.

Straw (Colored) Man Arguments

2011-09-17T16:39:00.001-04:00

People often ask me why I'm so hard on Obama. The answer is I'm no worse on him than I was on Bush (or Clinton before him). I'm against those who are against me. Why is that so hard to understand? Most people who followed my blog before 2009 didn't react strongly to my anti-Bush sentiments because 1) black people largely agreed with my rants and 2) white people usually just chalked it up to things black Democrats think. Neither really understood what I was saying or why I was saying it. I say these things because they are true. I say these things because I have principles. I say these things because I feel the need to be consistent. If I identify myself as pro-peace, I'm not going to support a pro-war candidate. It doesn't matter to me what color the candidate is. If I'm against mass murderers, it doesn't mean I'm only against white mass murderers. It means I'm against mass murderers regardless of what color they are. The particular back story or ethnic make-up of the mass-murderer is irrelevant to me in this case. My moral compass simply tells me they need to be stopped.

Black people get upset with me because I tell the truth about Obama. White people get upset with me when I tell the truth about them. Everyone is pretty much upset with me for some reason or another. I don't give a damn. It needs to be said and I don't see enough people who are willing to say it. Black people are mostly terrified and weak. And while I understand how we came to this lowly state, it still pisses me off because you can choose to be better if you want. Yes, white people will try to fuck you up for not acting like their pet(completely loyal and largely silent), but fuck it (pun intended). I refuse to be weak and pathetic for anyone. When I blog about Obama, my main point isn't really to expose him for the unprincipled wretch that he is. That's obvious if you're not mentally retarded. Obama is only useful to me in that he provides a convenient grappling point. He can be used to expose weak, black people and racist, white people all at the same time.

I admit that I do tend to focus on black people because I don't think white people will change for the most part. Why would they? What in history makes you think that's even a possibility? The only thing one can really do is try to get black people to think critically about their situation and what they're doing in response to it. If we can get enough of them to take a stand, the rest will fall in line. We've got to cut through all the bullshit so I'm cutting through that shit like Lion-O with the Sword of Omens.

So, let's get to it again. I get the exact same arguments from his supporters all the time. I've already destroyed some of the classic pieces of talking point fecal matter e.g. "He's not the president of Black America; he's the president of America." Let's look at some of the other popular albeit asinine arguments that are made: 1) Obama isn't in control here. Besides, he's only one man. He can't do it alone. More importantly, the Tea Party won't let him do anything. 2) Why do you want him to do everything (read anything) anyway?

There's so much ignorance here that it's tough to know where to start. Obama supporters love to say that Obama doesn't have any control over the economy or the war or anything for that matter. He has no control over anything, but at the same time he's employing some sort of grand strategy to defeat his rivals. Obama supporters encapsulate this ridiculous notion by saying he's playing chess, not checkers. But it's clear to me that he's not playing this:

or this:

He's not even playing this:

Obama's fans talk about chess, but can't see they've been checkmated already. In chess, you're supposed to think several moves ahead. Ask any Obama supporter what's the plan when Obama leaves office after this election cycle or the next? Do you know what you will hear? Silence or Crickets. They don't have a fucking clue. If you accept that Obama has no control over anything, then what do you say to a President Perry or Bachmann or whatever other bumblefuck takes office next? If he or she gets in office, and black unemployment increases, then what do you say? You can't say anything. Why would you even care who's in office if the President is pretty much inconsequential? Why do you think the country will slip into the ocean or fall into permanent financial ruin (meaning the state of the black community) if a Republican gets into office? The president can't really do much according to you.

Obamabots also like to place the blame of Obama's impotence on the Tea Party. According to them, the tea baggers are the reason Obama can't do anything. The tea bagger caucus has around 60 members. The CBC has around 40 members. Why is one controlling the government while the other one is completely irrelevant and ineffectual? Is the CBC the slower, whiter bench on an All-Star team? Is the Tea Party Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen while the CBC is Bill Wennington and Luc Longley? Are the members you put into congress incompetent or are you incompetent for putting them there? I think the answer is both.

Do you really believe some redneck in a top hat or a hillbilly in a wig is the economic engine behind the tea party? You're a moron. The pics you see are designed to make you think the Tea Party is a grass roots movement, but it's a corporate and racist movement established by the supremely wealthy that is supported by hillbillies and other white ignoramuses who are happy to be hanging on at the periphery. Unfortunately, this is no different from the type of corporate and racist movement that backs Obama. They both move the country in the exact same direction. You just get to choose between a white wig or a brown face to take you there. They then take pictures of your dumb ass at a rally and export it around the world to make everyone think it is a diverse, populist, grass roots movement.

The only thing more pathetic than seeing a cracker holding up a poster board claiming they are taking their country back is the poor niggas who searched for loose change in their sofas and cars (before they were repossessed) to support Obama. You're just as retarded as the clowns in the Tea Party. You're both pawns. Yes, someone's playing chess, but it ain't you, asshole. You're just like the ignorant saps who continue to go to church and pay your tithe so the preacher man can pay out his hush money to his victims and drive around in luxury cars and live in million dollar mansions. Most of you are too stupid to be saved, and don't deserve to be saved anyway, but I see a few of you looking around around here like motherfucking Caesar from Rise of the Planet of the Apes. The wheels are turning in your head and you're trying to make sense of your situation:

You know shit ain't right, but you can't quite put your finger on it. Well, now you know. You're welcome. Time to evolve.

Obama vs. "The Thug"

2011-09-12T10:28:00.001-04:00

In a previous facebook blog, I wrote about how I'm a better role model than Barack Obama. I did this, in part, to piss the Obama apologists off. Yes, it's the simple joys in life I love :o). I was called arrogant and conceited, but no one could show me where I was incorrect. They could dish out personal attacks, but they couldn't discredit the points I made. I thought I would talk a little bit more about why I consider myself—and any intellectually honest person, for that matter—a much better role model than Obama.

Obama's voting bloc of battered wives i.e. the black community loses their minds when I say Obama is no better than your typical thug. "How can you say that?" they ask."He went to Harvard and wears a tie." They love them some Obama because, like Joe Biden, they find him "articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy." How can I possibly compare Obama to a thug? After all, Obama doesn't curse. For them, hating on Barack Obama is like hating on Will Smith. Obama and Will Smith are apparently the cleanest, most articulate black people our community has to offer. Well, maybe Will Smith has been knocked down a peg or two on our esteem scale given the rumors of his marital problems. Still, you'd let your little kids listen to Will Smith, right? You point to Barack Obama as a shining example of what your child could become, right? Well, you're an idiot. Maybe you should actually read Will Smith's lyrics and listen to what Barack Obama actually says. While Will Smith may not curse, that doesn't make the content of his lyrics appropriate for young (black) kids, dumb ass. Oh, I get it: He may be pushing the same conspicuous consumption and a hedonistic lifestyle as every other "gangsta" rapper, but at least he doesn't say "Bitch". Obama may be following or enhancing the same policies of the previous administration, but at least he's not a redneck from Texas. Seriously, this is the level of critical thinking you can expect from his most ardent supporters.

Anyway, I concede the point that Obama doesn't curse in public. The closest he'll come is calling Kanye West a "jackass". I also concede the point that Obama is a much better speaker than his predecessor. Doesn't that make Barack Obama a great role model? Isn't he much better than the "thugs" our kids currently look up to? In both cases, the answer is no. It's a false choice. You shouldn't aspire to be like either one of them and you shouldn't place either one of them before your children as a role model. Given the choice between the two, Obama is actually a worse role model than your garden variety thug. At least the garden variety thug is fairly transparent with (or should I say in) his position. You know exactly what you're dealing with. It's easy to spot a clown when he or she is dressed in typical clown attire. I guess it gets harder to pick them out after they wash all the make-up off and take off the red nose and over-sized shoes. Check the clip:

Let me drive the point home if the video hasn't done it by now. Let's compare a "thug" to a president.

On the one hand, we have an individual who doesn't give a fuck about the black community. He's completely numb to the pain he inflicts on you and your family through his actions or through the actions of those who act on his behalf. He's only interested in his own personal gain. He sees no problem in engaging in violence when he feels his opponent is weaker than he is. Even if someone is not a threat to him personally, he still may engage in violence simply because he doesn't like that person or he may believe that person could become a threat to him some day. In the course of engaging in violence over turf, he knows there may be innocent victims, but that's just the regrettable cost of being in the game. He'll respond with overwhelming force against any slight he perceives from the weakest members of his own team or someone he considers a weak opponent, but he'll become deferential to the lowliest beat cop.

We're talking about a truly wretched individual here, aren't we? Now let's talk about the thug.

For Black Yoda Radio I am your host, Black Yoda. On the web go to twitter.com/black_yoda or http://blackyoda.tumblr.com/ for more information.

This was not taken from any broadcast, but the ending made it seem like it should be :o)

Why we all can't just get along

2011-09-04T10:48:00.000-04:00

There's a war against and within the black community. Truth be told, these two wars have been going on since just before we arrived on these shores, with the former fueling the latter. The pace has just accelerated in recent years with the advent of some new weapons: "successful" black women can't find a man(niggas ain't shit) specials, black feminist websites, etc. These wars were brought to you in part by, Pepsi, Nike, the Government, McDonald's, Lockheed Martin, the US Armed Forces, IBM, Ford, the Justice Department, BP, General Mills, GM, Cocoa-Cola, Sprint, Bank of America, Verizon, Apple and a whole host of others. In short, it's been sponsored and subsidized by white people and their government. It's always been in their best interest to keep black people on triple "d" status(our (dis)credit rating): destabilized, dysfunctional and dependent. They've done a terrific job of it too. So much so that many black people would rather attack me than them. Still, I find myself trying to help my lost brothas and sistas even though the wisdoms (elders) tell me to just let it go and let the chips (on shoulders) fall where they may.

This post was inspired, in part, by a conversation I had with a black woman a while back about the "problems" with black men. She wanted me to mentor her son since I was already mentoring through an organization (Big Brothers, Big Sisters) and the waiting list was quite long. I was very busy at the time, and I already do more than my fair share, but I still try to help where and when I can. I do it, not out of some sense of obligation, but because I want to do it. Nothing more. She started asking me some questions.

"Why won't black men step up?"

"Why aren't y'all talking about the state of the black community like the women are doing?"

I felt like the Asian shop-keep in Menace II Society, but the roles were reversed:

"I feel sorry for your son."

And if I had really said that shit to her, I probably would have ended up just like the shop-keep. :o)

It's difficult for me to engage in these kind of discussions with women because usually they're beyond hope, but I try whenever I have the time and energy to do it. "Well, the first issue," I said, "is that men aren't on the same level as women when it comes to talking. Most men aren't really interested in running their mouth the way I do from time to time. They just handle their business and keep it moving." Having said that, men are actually having these kinds of conversations. The problem is women, for the most part, will not like what we have to say. I know firsthand that women can and will effectively destroy any dialogue they see as a threat to their way of thinking with their verbal diarrhea: ad hominem attacks, diatribes and distractions. You can check my facebook blogs if you'd like to see some examples of that :0)

Let me tell you the only kind of talk women want to hear from men. It goes something like this:

"Men are bad. We do bad things. We are 100% responsible for every bad thing that's ever happened in your life. We want to take responsibility for everything and do exactly what you tell us to do. Any man who refuses to do as women say is clearly a misogynist and possibly a homosexual."

Does that sound far-fetched? They'll deny it, but don't take my word(or theirs) for it. Do a Google search for feminist websites (I refuse to shout any of them out). Pick any topic involving men (that will be most of them) and find anyone who doesn't subscribe to the "Men are all bad/Women are all victims" point of view and read the responses. Go ahead. I'll wait. Pretty much spot on, huh?

The fastest way to reach an impasse with a woman or feminized(feminist) male on this issue is to simply deviate from the script I've given above. They want to dictate the narrative and any attempt to deviate from their version/vision of it will be met with resistance and scorn. Dig game: She wanted to know the real nitty-gritty about why there aren't more men mentoring so I told her:

Some men just don't want to do it. They got enough shit to deal with without having to deal with someone else's shit. Let's set those men aside for a moment and talk about the other guys who choose to mentor like me. Men, black men in particular, who are on point with their shit are... well...on point with their shit. There's a reason why they are where they are and why they are who they are. It wasn't random. It wasn't luck. Given the razor thin room for error for most black men, you best believe they often had the ability to analyze the situation and make the best possible decision. If you ask a man like this to mentor, he's going to bring that same mindset to bear on the situation to which you are a part. What will he think? Let me tell you what he'll likely think:

1) He's isn't going to take the blame for your bad choices or the bad choices of other women. He most likely made it out the ghetto or to whatever level he's at specifically by avoiding people who make bad choices. He's managed not to have an illegitimate kids or kids he couldn't fully care for. Why can't you? What sense does it make telling him that black men need to stand up when he's right there talking to you? He's probably going to think you're an idiot and he would probably be right.

2) He's going to recognize that the baby factory has got to stop. I realized early on that my mentoring wasn't going to do much in the grand scheme of things, but it might be very significant to the lives I touch. Even if each eligible man starts mentoring, it won't mean much if the mentors are being out produced by the mentees by 3 or 4 to 1. I liken it to bringing a mop to a still flooding basement. The mentor is essentially the fucking mop. He's there to clean up a mess you made. But what fucking good is a mop if you haven't turned off the water(babies) yet? The baby factory has got to cease production or at least slow to manageable level. And this task should fall largely to the women. Why? Because they have much more control over the reproductive process than men. They can terminate a pregnancy well after conception. They can even give the child up for adoption after birth if they still don't want to be parents. Of course, this point seems to fly over the head of most women who think men and women have equal responsibilities when it comes to children. When they do this, I just keep asking two questions: 1) Can men abort a pregnancy if they don't want it? 2) Can men give up the child for adoption and give up all parental and financial responsibilities? Just keep asking those same two questions when women claim that men and women are equally responsible for children. They'll usually try to avoid the questions for a while, but eventually they'll end up flustered because putting shit on a cracker doesn't make it pâté no matter how bad you want it to be. The bottom line is men and women are held to different standards when it comes to children. Now, if you want the burden between men and women to be equal, then the law needs to reflect that and I would be more than happy to have that discussion.

3)He's going to ask the question (and so will the son at some point): Why would we need so many role models if the women were choosing the role models as mates in the first place? This takes us right back to the last sentence of point number one.

Over all, he's going to analyze the situation and come up with the best course of action to improve the situation because that's what successful men do! He isn't going to enable your terrible behavior/choices and he probably isn't going to be too keen on being talked down to from the very same women who have instilled all this bitchassness into their male children. Inevitably, many women think this analysis is too hard on them, but aren't you the ones asking us to step in and step up? How's what you've been doing so far been working for you? The issue isn't about putting women down. It's about raising those boys up right. We can't just teach the shit you think they should know. That's not how you become a man. If you're looking to raise a boy with a woman's mindset, then it doesn't even make sense to ask the men to stand up because a woman can teach you how to be a woman better than a man. If you're looking for a man to teach your boy how to be a man then you need to step the fuck off and let him do what he can. But all the fighting and recalcitrance and ungratefulness and undermining his authority in this matter? A man will eventually just say fuck it and step off even though he knows the children(boys and girls) are ultimately going to suffer for it. Why? Because every soldier eventually reaches his fill of battle. After that, he just wants peace.

The 4 most dangerous things a black person can think and say

2011-09-02T10:45:00.003-04:00

"Yeah, I know I got on bracelets and a tiara like Wonder Woman, but it's tough breaking free from white people."--Luke Cage

The purpose of this blog is to get you to think more like me. Frightening, ain't it? Well, if you're reading this, you're already on your way to becoming like me. It might take one year or a hundred (people are living longer these days), but the transformation has already begun. Don't fight it..."Breathe, there you go. Just let it go. Breathe, dog!"

The following are extremely dangerous notions that you must consider if you want to truly evolve. I didn't say you have to agree with them because that's not the point. You don't have to agree with them! By simply considering them, however, you will reap the benefits of a freed mind. Of course, there are some disadvantages. You will feel isolated from the vast majority of 21st century neanderthals. In some cases, they will shun you or even get violent. Still, you have the opportunity to experience what it will be like to live as a human of the future. It's an opportunity of a lifetime. Are you ready to begin? Here are four simple phrases (of many) that every black person must contemplate in order to escape the prison cell they've built in your mind.

1. "There is no God."

If you're black you're going to get in trouble for this, but consider the possibility that there is no God. I understand that most people on this planet believe in God, but let's be real: this belief is based on nothing. You require demonstrable proof or physical evidence in every area of your life except for this one? Does that even make sense? Organized religion is shit and your "God" is the peanut in this turd. There's a part of you somewhere that knows what I'm saying is true. Even if you want to separate organized religion from your "God," you still can't really make a logically sound argument for the existence of God. It's nothing but speculation and nonsense you euphemistically refer to as faith. I know this is hard for believers to do, but try freeing your mind from the idea that there's some omnipotent dictator who just so happens to look like you(or your oppressor). Stop attributing everything to God's will: Obama gets elected? God's will. He bombs Africa? God's will. You get your first bowel movement in a week? God's will. Suffering from erectile dysfunction? I guess God doesn't want me to fuck. Stop being a retard and understand that some shit happens because of the choices you make. Other times shit just happens and you don't know why.

2. "Fuck Obama!"

Jesus: Hold up, wait a minute. I don't care how many people this nigga murders. It would be easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than to get me to say something bad about Obama. I'm the son of God and even I don't have his approval numbers in the black community. You trying to fuck up my church money, aren't you? I'm not going from messiah to pariah just because he represents evil. Fuck Obama? No, fuck you! See you in hell, o.k.? Stay black.

The only thing that will get a black person in more trouble than denying the existence of God is denying the beneficence of Barack Obama. Ironically, his followers will cite any criticism of him as proof that you must "think he's the messiah" because you expect him to do "everything". By "everything" they mean anything (that could be labeled good) more than nothing. They're really projecting their own thoughts of him onto you because if you believed he was truly almighty and all-knowing, wouldn't that put him above criticism? After all, how do you criticize perfection? You can't. They won't criticize him because it is they who have deified him. If you still believe in God, or have elevated Obama to that status, then please go back to my first point. In any case, if a politician works against you, then you shouldn't support him or her. Go on, say it: "Fuck Obama!" You had no problem saying "Fuck Bush," right? How, exactly, would this be different? After you say that, go one step farther: "Fuck the Democrats!" They don't love you anymore than a pimp loves his hoes. You need to break out of the binary thinking that forces you to conclude you must either vote for a Democrat or a Republican. You can vote for a third party or not vote at all. It is better if you support neither the lesser nor greater of two evils.

3. "Fuck what white people think."

Should I qualify that statement? Probably. If I don't, I probably run the risk of people thinking I'm a racist or that I'm talking about all white people. Of course, this is isn't true, but it illustrates the exact point I'm trying to make. Most people are hypersensitive to the concerns of white folks. It's hard not to be. I live in a country controlled by them. I'm speaking to you in their language. How do you escape that? Audre Lorde once wrote, "The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Aside from learning Igbo or Yoruba, what can you do? You can begin to recognize just how ubiquitous western/white hegemony really is. You might think you're truly independent, but that's a lie. No black person is completely free(myself included) but you can be freer than most. How do you know you're not free? To quote Ras kass, "Jews don't salute the fucking swastika, but niggas pledge allegiance to the flag that accosted ya." It's real difficult to push aside the norms and customs you've been told should apply to you and you will feel considerable pressure when you try to resist them. Peep below:

White mainstream media will tell you that you're dysfunctional, that you're an animal, that you're inferior, etc. And what has been our response thus far? To live up (or should I say down) to those expectations. Try to resist those expectations and you'll start to get a sense of just how strong they are. As I've said in the past, you'll never know how strong the current is until you swim against it.

4. "I know my rights."

Whether you actually know them or not, this utterance never follows (or precedes) anything good. A black person typically says this after he's about to get fucked over....again. You hear "I know my rights" right before they take your ass into a back room...the one where the cameras don't work. By the time they get finished, you won't know your right(s) from your left(s). The bottom line is, if you really do know your rights, why would you let your enemy know that? Why would you give your enemy that advantage when they've been playing whack-a-mole with your entire neighborhood?

"Ain't so cool when the mole holds the tool."

All it does is further incense them or get them thinking about covering up where they might not have been before. This is one of those highly ironic phrases because it often only illustrates that you have no rights. Once you finally realize this, you'll begin to learn how to think and act strategically.

Well, I've given you four simple phrases, but there are many more. Are there others you can think of? Please feel free to add to the list. :o)

Losing the Race

2011-08-05T14:03:00.001-04:00

When I began my graduate studies more than a decade ago, I came across the achievement gap between black and white children quite often. Much of the literature involves identifying the gap and then suggesting ways to close it. At first, this might seem like a noble goal, but let me illustrate just how destructive this is. Imagine you have a race between two individuals and one individual is consistently beating the other. Maybe the winner has had better training, better nutrition, a head start, etc. You decide that you want to train the person losing the race. Do you train your athlete with the goal of eventually catching up to the front runner?!?! That's the mindset of a loser! Why train the athlete at all? S/he seems to have losing down pretty well without your help. And yet, this perpetual loser strategy is the one employed in much of the literature.

I don't want to close the gap; I want to create one! Now when I say something like that a whole lot of "people" (and I use the term loosely) are taken aback. You wanna know why? It's because they think I want to subject white children to the fucked up conditions imposed on many black children. Nothing could further from the truth. I want black children so far ahead that everyone else is left behind(no matter where they are). And I can guarantee you this: If black children were to suddenly race past all other children, the game plan for whites (and others) wouldn't be to simply catch up with black children. Believe that shit! They want to win, not hope to eventually tie. That's how it's supposed to be and I wouldn't want it any other way. The next time you hear someone tell you about closing the achievement gap tell them the only gap that needs to be closed is the one between their lips.

Why I Won't Blame The Rappers

2011-07-18T08:42:00.004-04:00

Waka Flocka Flame is planning on retiring after 2011. There's talk that Lil' Wayne may be retiring too within 5 or 6 years. Yeah, I don't give a fuck either. It has, however, got me thinking more about the role of rappers in society. You may not believe this, but they do play an important role. Society always needs human targets and rappers are tailor-made for the role. 2pac's death created the space for everyone in this video to move to the forefront. As the current crop of ignorant rappers gets swept away, you might want to ask who will replace them and how that selection gets made.

Here's how it works and please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong or if you feel I'm unfairly characterizing some of the key players. Typically, some rapper from the ghetto hustles for a few years until he demonstrates his profitability to a record company executive who subsequently signs him to a crooked 360 record deal. Having been broke most of his life, he can't believe how much money he suddenly thinks he has in his pockets. In a state of Euphoria, he buys nice things for himself: a big house, an expensive car or two, some jewelry, etc. He courts women who would not have given him a second look (or probably a first one) before he became temporarily rich and famous. In addition to the women whose affection he buys, he must also support several friends and family members whose wrath and hatred he will incur otherwise. Of course, we see the bling and scantily clad women and label him an idiot. While that is probably true, it also demonstrates just how little compassion we have for his situation. For example, have you ever gone food shopping on an empty stomach? What happens? You end up buying more shit and shit you don't need. It's not so different when going from abject poverty to having some money in your pocket. It's understandable that you want to have some nice shit for once especially when you've gone for so long without even the things you needed (not simply wanted). When you've always had money, or at least basic necessities, you don't really give as much of a shit about gorging yourself on gaudy material goods. Bill Gates can buy the planet, but you never see him draped in Jewels and encased in gold. He has nothing to prove to himself or you. He's also never gone without basic necessities. The finer things in life have never seemed like an impossibility for him even when he didn't have them so there was no drive to get them the moment he got his first big check.

Anyway, the rapper gets his deal and gets some money in his pocket. He buys houses and cars. He's just made his first mistake. The irony is he's buying things he can actually afford. If you getting 10 million in a year, you can afford a 2 or 3 million dollar home, some high end luxury cars and jewelry. In fact, you would probably be in a better position to buy any house and car than any home and car owner who makes 50K that year. Why does it end so badly for most rappers then? Well, the person who makes 50K a year can probably do that for 20-30 years. The same can't be said for rappers making 10 million dollars a year. They have a 3-4 year window at best.

Why is it such a short window? Well, the consumers are fickle by nature. Most artists can't stay hot forever and most will fade away after a few years. Furthermore, rappers and other entertainers are subject to personal attacks from several segments of society. Even though those criticisms may be justified on some level, they are often misguided in that they do not fundamentally address the problems the rappers get blamed for or the people who are responsible for bringing those "problem rappers" directly into your living room.

Rappers are convenient targets. They are seen as poster children for black male dysfunction. You never have to worry about any sort of backlash if you critique a rapper. They're easy prey so most go in hard without a second thought. Here's something that most people don't know: There's a civil war going on in the black community right now. You can see it if you're watching TV (Oprah, various "Successful Black Women Can't..." TV specials, etc.) or visiting relationship oriented websites, but it's happening offline as well. On the one side you have the black confederacy: several self-identified feminist bloggers, religious fanatics, conservatives and other agents. On the other side, you have the rest of the black community and members of what I suppose you could call the black union i.e. sane, rational folk. The so-called feminist bloggers are the pawns or the foot soldiers on the front line. The governmental sponsors (or is it the sponsors of government??)are behind them. How do you recognize the pawns? As soon as you see a blogger constantly using terms like black patriarchy and "Le Sigh" you better draw your weapon and shoot to kill before they get a chance to slice you up like Catherine Becker:

Seriously though....Le Sigh?.... I can't stand that shit.

Sacrebleu, Ms. Lapew!

Every time I see "Le Sigh" it makes me want to club a baby seal or kick a bunny rabbit like a football. After the war is over and the confederacy has been defeated, any one caught using French definite articles will be sent to Egypt, Pakistan or some other "ally" to be thoroughly "questioned".

Anyway, all of this attention to rappers illustrates how fundamentally ignorant we are of how the business works. The rappers are the easiest cog in the machine to replace and they are also subject to the most wear and tear. Instead of looking at the machine as a whole, most pawns will choose to focus their attacks on a Lil Wayne who, according to many of them, represents average black men. This relentless attack on rappers (and the rest of us, by extension)serves two purposes: it focuses the attack on the exact wrong area and makes them feel powerful in the process. It makes them feel like they have served the greater good by helping to eliminate a target that most likely had a short shelf life to begin with and would have disappeared after a few years anyway (see DMX or Ja Rule).

Let's get back to the rapper for a moment. The rapper is making 10 million for 3 or 4 years, but here's what happens. Their novelty starts to wear off. The attacks of those who see them as the problem with the black community start to gain more traction as consumers start to move on to the next big thing. Suddenly, those big pay days start becoming few and far between. Now those cars and houses and entourages you could afford last year become a liability. You lose much of that shit and take a financial loss or two. Then you get the letter from the IRS saying that your taxes were incorrectly filed. Apparently, the company lawyers/accountants didn't have your best interest in mind and didn't properly report your income. The IRS has done you the "courtesy" of correcting the mistakes and sending you a bill: 2 million dollars please (cash or money order, and you better be able to account for how you got that cash if you pay it :o). Now you are desperate to work and you're taking jobs you would have never taken a few years ago even when you were poor.

"You're up after him."

Now you're rapping at some kid's birthday party and the birthday boy or girl is more embarassed to see you than the guy in a rat suit. You're about as cool to kids as a brand new FUBU jersey. At this point, you are now just trying to figure out if you should take your own life or hope that after your 5 year stint in federal prison for tax evasion and your Behind the Music VH-1 special, you'll still have enough people who will want to hear your interchangeable, manufactured "hits" at small clubs across the country.

What's lost in this story are the motherfuckers who set all this shit in motion and profit the most from it. It's easy to blame a tattooed Jabba the Hut like Rick Ross. People will be quick to point out him, but they couldn't pick out the executives who own the companies that sign these motherfuckers and make the real money. I know you see Diddy, Russell and Jay Z, but there's always two things you should keep in mind: 1)They don't make most of their money from rapping and 2)someone else's signature is on the checks that gave them their fortunes. Have you ever thought about who that is? Of course you haven't. That takes too much work. You would have to use google, ask some questions....who has time for that? :0)

"We'll enjoy the tens of millions of dollars we make off the niggers and they can enjoy spending time in prison with their homies. It'll give them more material to rap about"

No one seems to care about the "tall Israeli who's running this rap shit." They get to sip their Chateau Lafitte while looking over their well-manicured lawns while the disposable entertainers who generate all the money get to take all the hate and bullets that would be more effectively directed to these rich, almost exclusively white, motherfuckers who chill in relatively anonymity. Well, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to follow the grossly uninformed mob. As ignorant as I think *insert Mainstream rapper" lyrics may be, my beef ain't with him. It's with the motherfuckers who give him the platform to speak in the first place and the motherfuckers who think a rapper is really "the boss of all bosses."

Cheating the Future: APS Scandal

2011-07-10T13:51:00.007-04:00

I have been following the APS scandal for the last week. I can't say I've been surprised by how it's unfolded:

1) Feigned Outrage?

2) Teacher/Union scapegoating?

3) Politicians and educational experts with no teaching experience proposing solutions?

4) Charter Schools held up as models for success?

I think that about covers it. I've written about education extensively in the past. Why should my opinion hold any more weight than the politicians and administrators who are in charge of the school systems? For one, I've actually taught in a crappy public school this century. That's more than I can say for most of them. Let's dispense with the above talking points.

Why do I say feigned outrage? Well, I say "feigned" because it's fake. Do you really believe parents, politicians and other stakeholders don't know how educationally handicapped these kids are? Do you think parents have no idea that their kids can't read? If they don't, then their kids have a problem that supersedes their illiteracy, don't they? Maybe we should test each parent's knowledge of his or her kids. Ironically, apologists for parents would cheat by erasing correct answers and replacing them with incorrect answers.

The behavior of the teachers who participated in the scandal is unacceptable. They should be reprimanded and fired. Nothing else! But know that they were following the lead of the administrators from their individual principals up to Beverly Hall. I'm not saying that the former Superintendent explicitly ordered teachers to cheat. I don't think she's dumb enough to have some smoking gun emails out there or robocalls instructing others to cheat, but she knew what was going on. Personally, I would have no problem with the administrators seeing jail time. But even more than her or her puppet principals, I would like to see the school board and all the legislators who created (or maintained) an environment of high stakes testing and funding linked to test scores sent to prison (gen pop) and labeled as child molesters.

You'll hear several assholes say the unions and the bad teachers they protect are the problem. Ask them if states where teachers are not unionized do significantly better. Do you know what you'll hear? Crickets (if they won't lie). They'll also tell you that charter schools are the way to go. Ask them if charter schools, on average, perform significantly better than public schools. Do you know what you'll hear? Crickets (if they won't lie).

Here's the truth: Most of these talking heads on TV don't have the slightest clue about how to fix these schools. Most of the remaining few who are in the know are too afraid to speak up. Let me be clear: Even if all unions are destroyed and every union teacher is fired, you will not see significant progress. The debate about unions and cheating teachers and charter schools comes down to dollars (politicians searching for ways to reclaim money and destroy opposition). While that is the primary concern of our elected officials, no one seems willing to address the other issue: the knucklehead "students" and the parents who produce them. If you replace every teacher with Michelle Pfeiffer and Hillary Swank, you still won't be able to turn around these schools. There is no way you are single-handedly going to get 35 functionally illiterate, unruly kids on grade level in one year and be able to pass a standardized test.

How do you actually start to make gains? The only way is to change the culture where the students live and learn. You have to make the parents accountable through incentives or disincentives (whatever is more effective). Those miracle charter schools you see on TV typically use a lottery system to select their students. This means you have a bunch of parents who give a DAMN about their kids. Parents who give a damn = kids who excel. There's no rocket science to it. You don't need some god damn federal legislation or a race to the top. You don't need any union-busting tactics. You don't even need teachers who have more training and education than medical doctors to teach some kids things they don't know( that's practically everything). The bottom line is until you focus on the kids and their parents you can expect crop after crop of underachieving fuck-ups.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's the parents! I was considered "stupid" or "slow" by both the private and public elementary schools I attended. The schools were ready to short bus my ass right into loserville. Much to their surprise (or chagrin), I begin to take off around fourth grade and never looked back. So how is it that a special-ed labeled child like me can go on to get degrees in mathematics and mathematics-education? How does that happen? Oh wait, I think I know: My parents gave a DAMN about me and instilled the value of education. I had books in my room before I could even read them. I had a set of children's encyclopedias. How is it that my best friends grew up in a single parent household and now all five of them have college degrees(and two with advanced degrees)? How is that possible? Oh wait, I think I might know. C'mon now, say it with me: They had a parent who gave a DAMN about them. Being a parent isn't easy, but the recipe for raising an intelligent child is very simple. You don't need a degree. You don't need to know how to do your child's homework. You DO have to invest in your child. Read to them every night when they are young. Get them some books and get them reading! Get a library card if you can't afford books. Serve them some meals that don't come in a bag. This is not difficult, people! If you can't do these basic things for your child(ren), then they are most likely doomed and I don't care how many standardized tests you give them or how many anti-cheating policies you implement. You've already cheated them.

Attacking the teachers for cheating still doesn't address why they had so many wrong answers in the first place. You think it's because the teachers walked into a classroom and completely ignored the kids? Do you think when the teachers finally decided to acknowledge your kids it was only to tell them specifically what pages not to read? I've seen teachers who do nothing but have kids copy notes and do work sheets. In fact, that's what I did in my middle school math class. No one gave a damn about my personal learning style. No one said, "Oh, he must be a kinesthetic learner so let him do some jumping jacks during the lesson." I hated copying those damn math notes every day. But guess what? I still learned. I learned enough to get through Geometry, Trigonometry and Algebra with ease. I must have picked up a thing or two given my profession.

Yes, we have a big cheating scandal in Atlanta. I wonder when stories will break in Detroit, Baltimore, DC and others areas will black people stay? Can you imagine when they finally get some "cleaner" (noticed I didn't say clean) stats in the coming years? What do you do when you're not making progress per NCLB? Well, I suppose you could just double up on the talking points we've heard from people who have no public school teaching experience. That will solve the problem. After all, it's been working so far, right?

The Black Radical's Guide to run up of the 2012 Election

2011-07-05T23:30:00.002-04:00

It's not a secret that I'm no fan of Obama. Why? For the most part, he's either continued the policies of the previous administration or enhanced them (bail-outs, increased spending on defense, Bush tax cuts, multiple wars, etc.). I have had scores of ...I'm not even sure what I should call them. I would say debates if I were up against an intelligent, opposing point of view, but I can't even say that since most of Obama's most ardent supporters don't have any facts to support their view points. Let's be honest: black people voted for Obama because he's a black, Democrat. His actual positions and policies—to the extent in which they could actually be discerned, if at all—were largely irrelevant to most of his supporters (black and white). I say this because whenever I ask any person why they voted for him I can't get anything that makes the slightest bit of sense.

Obamabot: I voted for him because he supports universal health care.

Me: He does? How do you figure that?

Obamabot:.... well, he passed a universal healthcare law.

Me: But you don't have health care...or a job to afford the increasing premiums.

Obamabot Well, he's also against the war. He's bringing back tens of thousands of troops over the next couple of years.

Me You're talking about the tens of thousands of additional troops he sent there? You should read more.

Yeah, this is the kind of shit I have to deal with. The disappointing thing about this is it makes black people look as stupid as the people who support Sarah Palin or the Tea Party or the Republican Party. We're equally vacuous, equally myopic...equally gullible. That depresses the hell out of me. I would like to think we're smarter than that, but... oh well. Any way, I've already talked about what would happen if he wins re-election. Unfortunately, I think he still has a pretty good shot at that. A win for Obama means nothing good for us. I do think that after 5 or 6 years of steady deterioration in the black community, the whole "He's the President of e'er one but us" will probably lose some traction, but the "He's got to makes sure a Democrat succeeds him so the Republicans don't erase the gains we never saw" argument should pick up any slack.

But what if he loses? That provides us with an interesting scenario. We're all used to the regular kind of stupid shown by the Obama bots in conversations like the one above. But if Obama were to lose, then intelligent, black people will have to deal with a whole new kind of stupid. Obama bots, completely oblivious to the mass black suffering over the previous four years, will suddenly become aware of it within 4 days of the new administration.

Obamabot: Are you happy now? See what happened because he lost? Black people are now dealing with massive unemployment now and we have someone in office who doesn't give a damn about it.

Oh yes! That's what you will have to deal with. Black radicals will be responsible for Obama's defeat and the mass suffering which heretofore went unseen by the Obamabots.

How does one deal with this kind of stupid? Well, we've already seen that logic and consistency aren't going to cut it with them. I'm not sure what you can do. For me, I'll just refer them to this blog and keep it moving. :o)

On July 4th

2011-07-04T17:08:00.001-04:00

Here's a piece I wrote exactly 10 years ago. I was teaching in Mississippi for a summer session and attended an Independence Day celebration. I was at the park watching prisoners do trash detail for the celebration. I would love to post the video, from which the intentionally blurred photo is taken, because it contains some interesting debate on the topic. I won't, however, because I can't contact everyone who spoke in it. Suffice it to say people have been calling me a "hater" for at least a decade now :o) This piece represents an evolution in my thinking and was taken from a journal I kept during the summer.

Independence Day
(Vulture Or The Eagle)

Funnel cakes and snow cones,
pop corn and pop rock,
blankets strewn over the grass,
the stars and stripes I've seen
are not red and white,
but white and green.
Sipping lemonade
under a blossom tree,
I watch him use a 12 gauge
for a crutch
while they do trash pick-up.
They patch potholes in the street
and fix our A.C.
These will be only men the kids in my class will see
when I leave.
Independence Day
means nothing to me.
It means even less to them.
Even behind his shades,
I know his eyes are fixed on me.
“What does he see?”
For a brief moment that stretches across a life time,
I hate him.
I hate his ignorance, his indifference,
his dry white skin juxtaposed against the sweaty bodies of my kin,
his family for whom he is most likely the breadwinner,
this community for continually missing the obvious irony of this celebration, and everyone who tells me it’s wrong to hate.
I have to breathe. It's in the air. It is the medium by which I live,
which means holding one’s breath in order to forgive.
Lately, I've become prone to brief flashes of vengeful violence.
All fantasy. I might just grab that 12 gauge shotgun
and shove it down his throat until he dies,
treasuring the horror in his eyes,
but they would be quick to deep-fry me like everything else here.
Sometimes, I hear Nat Turner screaming for me to grab the burner, but I can't do that. That's not how we play the game today.
You've got to make it look like they have only themselves to blame.
Sometimes, I wonder if my thoughts are really my own.
Why do we only seem to go down paved roads?
It's the fear that makes us, me,
stay the course.
“What does he see?”
For a brief moment that stretches across a life time, I hate him.
I see him under the blossom tree, behind his shades,
and for the first time,
I feel the sweltering heat
sheltering me.

Declaration of War

2011-06-28T08:30:00.004-04:00

"I'm thinking it will be later, much later."

Why does this country go to war? Is it because of a desire to spread democracy across the globe? Oh, I get the reason why the United States is bombing Libya: This country is concerned with saving the lives of black and brown people abroad. That makes sense. It's also wholly consistent with the wealth of care and concern shown for black and brown people right here at home. It's just in the nature of this country to do right by us. Yeah, I can't say that shit with a straight face either. The multiple wars this country is engaged in have nothing to do with making people free and it has nothing to do with defeating terrorists. Speaking of terrorists, let me go off on a slight tangent for a moment. The word terrorist is probably one of the most used and least understood words in the English Language. Anyone can be a terrorist. I would argue that it's nearly impossible to find a people in any country that weren't labeled terrorists by another group at some point in time. So why do we use the word? It's about shaping the narrative before the perceived enemy has a chance to speak; It's about condemning people before they're even heard. Terrorists don't feel love. Terrorists don't take pleasure in beauty and creation. Terrorists just want to blow shit up and cause anarchy, right? What could those animals possibly have to say that you should listen to anyway? They want to do nothing but cause you harm to further their own warped political agenda so motherfuck them. Kill 'em all, right? I think I've pretty much captured the popular sentiment in this country. If you begin the conversation by referring to the other person as a terrorist, then there really isn't much to discuss. Just start blasting away. And when the current flavor of terrorist no longer appeals to enough of your mainstream audience, you can just move on to another flavor. I recommend the Häagen-Dazs Hamas.

Let's get back on track, shall we? War isn't simply about what you can get. It's also about what you stand to gain in the future. It's about future leverage. There's a reason why this country will drop bombs in Africa and encourage instability throughout the continent. Africa has a lot of resources, but it doesn't have the infrastructure or the kind of strong, independent leadership at the national level to properly take advantage of those resources. This is by design. It is in the best interest of the United States and Europe to have a bunch of cock puppet dictators who will easily bend to Western demands. It makes sense to have countries constantly on the verge of civil war. It's much easier to negotiate with the tired and hungry, the war weary and traumatized. It's like negotiating with a crack head with a bad case of the shakes. Yeah, you're probably gonna get that Plasma TV with the wires still attached to a face plate from him for a dollar. It's much easier to negotiate with someone when they are dependent on you and helpless before you.

We are always at war. War is typically represented by exploding bombs and rolling tanks, but not all wars are like this. This country is constantly engaged in soft wars that take place between the hard wars (media reported). These soft wars often go under-reported if they are reported at all. For example, let's look at ~~Kaddafi~~, ~~Quaddafi~~... Gaddafi???....and the "military action" taking place in Libya. We're seeing a soft war that's changing into a hard one. Is Gaddafi a good guy? No, he's an asshole. But guess what? They're all assholes. So why is Gaddafi special? Gaddafi was starting to do some shit he wasn't supposed to do. Gaddafi was trying to create a unified African currency and wean the entire continent off of the dollar. He's essentially trying to hasten the demise of the dollar. While this course of action would have an effect on all of us working for our pennies, it has an even bigger effect on those who control the world money markets and, thus, the world governments. Go ahead and move to a gold standard and dump the US dollar and Euro if you want, I guarantee you both big and little missiles are headed for your dome. It's also been reported that Gaddafi was building up telecommunications infrastructure in Africa which would mean less dependence on Europe for their communication needs. We're talking about hundreds of millions of dollars in this one area alone. Gaddafi was rocking the boat a lil' too much for his own good.

You know who else was doing shit like this? Saddam Hussein. You might remember hearing some noise about him trying to replace the dollar with the Euro in regard to trading oil. He wasn't even trying to get off the Western Teat completely (at least, not at that moment). How did that turn out for him? You don't always need to send bullets their way if you can compromise them in other ways. Some of these moral and mental midget dictators could probably be bought off with a few trinkets and some blonde sex slaves. But if you wanna know who's a prime target, all you have to do is look at two things: economic policies and nuclear capability. I've already talked about the economic policy no-no's. As far as nuclear capability, it isn't about the fear of building offensive weapons (as politicians would have you believe) as much as it is about demonstrating independence from overpriced foreign resources and the ability for retribution if your country is attacked. If you're non-white and you go too far in either regard, even if your only goal is to escape the clutches of Western Hegemony and nothing else, you should know that you are always free to do so, just not with your head still attached to your neck.

Why we should all aspire to be some "gay ass gangstas"

2011-06-24T10:52:00.000-04:00

"Omar's coming, yo!"

The intersection between gayness and blackness has come to the forefront recently in some unexpected ways. In an incident that has gone relatively unnoticed by the mainstream media, Deshon Marman was kicked off a plane and arrested for apparently sagging on a US Airways flight.

According to a passenger on the flight, Marman's sweatpants sagged beneath his waist revealing black underwear.

"When I first saw him coming down the aisle, I was like, 'Come on man, really?' " he said. "But after he sat down, you couldn't see anything."

You can see part of the incident here What does that have to do with the price of rainbow-colored turbans in the "Middle East"(which should be quite low, I'd imagine)? Nothing really. For me, the story becomes more interesting in conjunction with an incident that occurred nearly a week earlier. They let a drag queen on a flight with no problem despite several complaints from other customers.

I’m not saying that a white man dressed like this on a plane is gay…well, yes, that’s what I’m saying. And even if he isn’t, his manner of dress (or undress, perhaps) affords him the full protection of the gay community and exposes a double standard in the way people are treated. Apparently, it’s against US Airways policy for underwear to be partially exposed. Fully exposed is fine, but not partially exposed because that’s just teasing. After the Deshon Marman case is over, I want to start a class action lawsuit on behalf of the Black Plumbers Association of America. I know there must be a black plumber somewhere who's been targeted, arrested and sentenced to an inordinate amount of time due to a liberal interpretation of laws pertaining to crack.

Tracy Morgan is still getting his shit pushed in for his comments a few weeks back. They’re parading his ass around on an apology tour right now. He’s apologizing to every gay, homeless teen and Broadway cast they can find. He’s just one of a number of black entertainers who have come under fire for making allegedly homophobic comments. You might remember Isaiah Washington from ~~Gay’s~~ Grey’s Anatomy who got fired for using the "f" word. And by "f" word, I mean faggot. I saw him in a blue smock at Wal-Mart. He had to open up the glass case for me and walk me up to the register so I could purchase my copy of Madden. When will we learn? Black people are not allowed to talk about Jews or gays (or any white people for that matter) without fear of great reprisal. The gays will run up in your ass and the Jews will exterminate your career. I’m nervous even writing this.*peeps through blinds and notices a Prius that’s circling the block at 15 mph (that’s pre drive-by speed in the hood and maximum speed for a Prius)*

Anyway, I have a theory about why so many black entertainers catch wreck in this way. I think many black people are so used to everyone talking badly about them that they figure it’s carte blanche to say whatever they feel especially if it's done within certain places (comedy show, barber shops, irreverent blogs, etc.). Wrong! You better stay in your lane, nigga!(See how less squeamish you feel by my use of "Nigga" than "faggot"?) You can say anything you want about black people without fear of retribution. You can call us stupid, prone to disease, dysfunctional, etc. Making any of those charges will not only get you cosigns from many, including several within the black community, but it may also get you a grant to do research to further support your racist ideas so others can cite you when they make even more racist claims. Say what you want about us, but you better be careful when it comes to gays, Jews, and/or whites. And if you happen to be a white, male, gay, American Jew?

Sheeeeeeiiitttttt!!!!!!! That’s like the lions coming together to form Voltron to slay the negRo-beast.

What can black people do to fight back? I’m so glad you asked. I’ve got the perfect solution. Every person in this country has benefited from the collective struggle of black people. Everyone! The Jews and gays got a model of resistance and activism they could hijack. White people got access to millions of guinea nigs to experiment on and profit from. Whenever the economy collapses or you don’t get into Harvard, you're allowed to blame us. Everyone has benefited. I say it’s time we turn the tables. I think every black person should pretend to be gay (if they aren‘t already). I know that this will ruffle the tail feathers of legitimately gay people, but you can't pitch all the time, right? Sometimes it's your turn to catch. We should all pretend to be gay and then infiltrate every political organization, Hollywood studio and beauty salon. We need to take over all of the positions for contestants on Dancing with the Stars or So You Think You Can Dance . We need to start becoming the fashion designers, hair stylists and personal assistants to celebrities. But most importantly, we need to become more like Omar:

Yes, I know it will be difficult for some of us to pretend to be gay, but look at the strangle hold they have on the game. Even Google is feeling the pressure. I guess the different colored letters ain't flamboyant enough for them. Chris Brown should be apologizing any moment for his comment too. Ain't nothing more gangsta than gay. We need to take advantage of that.

How do you prepare yourself to play gay when it goes against every fiber of your being? Just keep forcing yourself to watch I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry and that episode of Two and a Half Men where Charlie pretends to be gay with his brother, Alan. Listen to music that would appeal to a prepubescent girl and a little bit of whatever garbage Diddy is putting out and you'll be throwing up a fist attached to a limp wrist in no time :o)

Should we have a Black Agenda??

2011-06-13T12:00:00.000-04:00

Black people are the canaries in the mine and the guinea pigs in the lab. If you want to know how this country is doing, and where it's going, then just look at how Black people are doing and where they're headed and you'll have a pretty good idea. Once you understand that, you’ll realize that a pro-Black agenda is really in the best interest of everyone. I find that most of the people who attack the concept of a “Black agenda” tend to attack anything that's ostensibly Black. The reason why they do this is 1) it’s easy to gain exposure and widespread acceptance from the general public for such attacks and 2) it often allows them to shift the focus away from the core issues of a “Black agenda” which are essentially human rights issues. In other words, they really can’t critique the agenda itself so the only course of action remaining is to equate “Black” with narrow-minded or....gasp...reverse racist...lol. You’ve heard it before:“Why should he have a Black agenda? He’s the President of the United States of America, not Black America.” It doesn’t seem to matter that no one has said he should be President of Black America exclusively. Furthermore, if you acknowledge that there is such a thing as "Black America," then isn't it part of a larger America? How could he not be President of the various communities and constituencies that make up this nation? Are you willing to concede that there certain segments of this society or particular contexts in which he shouldn't be considered the President at all? I suppose the Black community must be outside of his purview. I know a whole lot of ~~rednecks~~ Texans who wish that was the case for them given all the federal regulations coming down the pipe. Well, I'll make them a deal. You can have our lot in this country and we'll take yours.

Anyway, let's not go too far down the rabbit hole because most of you wouldn't be able to find your way back. Just stay on the surface and continue throw out crappy slogans in order to avoid the reality of our situation. Seriously people, I do my best to try to help these truly ignorant, lost souls. I've had many successes and just as many (if not more) failures. I’m like Harriet Tubman in a way:

“I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.”

With some people, nothing short of a pistol could "free" their minds. They just can't see how ridiculous they are going to look given enough time. Need proof? Just go back to earlier time periods and look at some of the contentious issues of the day that have been resolved (at least, on the surface). Have you ever wondered how certain things could even be up for debate? For example, how can it be so hard to be against slavery? It seems pretty easy to be against, but it clearly wasn't. Today you would be hard pressed to find anyone who openly supports slavery even though many still do support it under different names. Slavery is even legal in this country. You just have to be convicted of a crime first. What is so difficult about believing that human beings should be treated as…well…human beings? The abolitionist movement and the Civil Rights movement have been attempting to put this question to rest—quite poorly, I might add— for several hundred years now.

Basically, it comes down to this: we have thought and we have action. We first have to commit to getting our thoughts in order and then we have to act accordingly. Until you can successfully go through both stages, you're always going to be a Neanderthal (no offense). Some people are on stage two with regard to certain issues, but most people still grapple with the first stage. We are all on different stages when it comes to different issues, but relatively few of us are actually aware of where we are. Why is stage one so difficult? It’s difficult because it often requires that you face your own fucked-up thought process and acknowledge it for what it is…fucked up. It isn’t easy. Trust me, I know all too well. Too many people are happy to not deal with issues if they are not directly affected by them. They do this by calling something by a different name, changing topics altogether or making straw man arguments. And you may choose to refuse to evolve in thought and action, but understand that your descendants will look at you the same way I look at Bull Connor…like a fucking savage. I'm just telling you this before you die. You're welcome! :o)

So the question becomes how do you get ahead of the time curve? How do you wrap your mind around our plight and know that you're right? How do you not look like one of the white, slack-jawed troglodytes here:

or even here:

It’s actually quite easy. It requires independence of thought and action. For Black people, you can’t make all of your decisions based upon how you think white people will feel and react. You have to start telling the truth! That’s why I post these blogs. Some of you are going your whole day and not hearing a single sincere, truthful comment from anyone. How do you know when you're hearing a truthful comment? Unless you're mentally damaged, you probably have that little built-in moral compass and B.S. detector inside you that tells you when something (or one) is on the level. It's something like a “Spidey” sense. Let's check to see if it's working. It should go off whenever a Tea bagger tries to convince you the Tea Party is not racist.

Go ahead and check out any Tea Party segment on youtube. The racism is so strong with the Tea Party that you should barely be able to stand in the same room with them because of the stench. It reminds me of my history teacher back in my AP history class in High School. She said something like, "It would be difficult for you to be in the same room with Europeans from the 17th century because they would positively reek to most people from this era. Well, I associate that 17th century funk with modern racism. Most of you are quite funky. Black people need to stop trying to figure out what’s wrong with their nose. The problem isn't with your nose. The problem is with your brain for thinking the problem is with your nose.

Anyway, racists (and racist sympathizers) are always concerned and start with the furrowed brows n’ shit whenever a "Black agenda" is brought up. Let me break this down for you. Many White people think a “Black agenda” means Black power and supremacy; they think it means retribution for all the foul shit they've done. Of course, they don't like that. They just want you to shut the fuck up and stop complaining about the abuse. Token Blacks don't like a “Black agenda” because they are afraid you might arouse the ire of the good, white people who might take away privileges like having a Black president who does nothing for us. By being against a “Black agenda” in any shape or form, they hope to curry favor with the good, white folks and maybe even get a job out of it.

So, how can we have a Black agenda in such a terrible racial climate? Well, the first thing I would do is stop using the word “Black”. At the end of this post you'll see why it doesn't matter if you use the word or not so you might as well use the word. :o) Let me give you 4 things President Obama can do to further a "Black agenda" without ever using the word “Black” or "African- American."

1) Free Political Prisoners. You remember Ronald Reagan? The President that Obama referred to as a "transformational figure" pardoned several Cointelpro FBI agents who were convicted of maliciously conspiring against the citizens of this country. Well, Obama should pardon the victims of that malicious conspiracy, many of whom have spent decades behind bars as a result of illegal tactics. The recently deceased Geronimo Ji Jaga Pratt (R.I.P.) spent 27 of his 63 years on this planet inside a prison cell for a crime he did not commit. Many others deserve to be free.

2)End the War on drugs. I'm tired of people trying to tell me a reduction in the Crack-Cocaine ratio is progress. The disparity should be done away with just like DADT. No half-stepping. No reduction in the disparity. No pulling the knife half out our backs and calling it progress (to paraphrase Malcolm X). It, among other things, should be done away with IMMEDIATELY! The Fair Sentencing Act is ironically named since it isn't fair at all. It is nothing more than political posturing on the part of the POTUS and the AG designed to get his apologists to think he's working for the people. It's designed to get people to disregard what their "Spidey" sense is telling them: this president is not progressive in any way. He’ll do whatever he’s told to do just like the presidents before him. If they can shore up some financial woes in various state and federal budgets while making you believe you’re getting a hand-out at the same time, that’s two birds with one stone.

You really want to see the head of a racist explode? Try this one. Let's really do away with the disparity in sentencing. Here's a very simple proposal. I say institute a maximum sentence policy. The maximum sentence allowed for any non violent crime should be the minimum sentence doled for the same crime found in any jurisdiction in the United States. Wouldn't that be fair? I would forego all the policy studies and the piecemeal approaches. I don't even care about the relatively little time people serve for stealing trillions compared to the relatively large amount of time people serve for stealing trinkets. The smallest amount of time (or most lenient sentence on record) doled out for any comparable non violent crime should be the maximum sentence for that crime. Go ahead and say that and watch their head explode. Watch the stammering and the hemming and hawing start. Watch them work against a simple policy that says everyone should be treated equally by the system.

3)End the Wars abroad. Stop the nonsense about spreading democracy and freedom. End the wars and the 10's of billions of dollars a month going to fund them. Direct that money back to where it can actually do some good. Where might that be? Almost anywhere else would be better. Point number four is just one example.

4) Fully Fund Public Schools. Stop the damn contests and gimmicks. Instead of corporatizing and militarizing public schools, try actually funding them. Stop creating standards that cannot be met(anytime you require 100% compliance in any government policy, you should already start planning for the aftermath of the failure. Along with 100% grade level proficiency and 100% "highly qualified" teachers required by NCLB, I think they should have thrown in world peace for good measure). Try doing things that would actually help the students in struggling public schools like.... making sure if you're a teacher in the ghetto, you don't have 40 kids in your dilapidated class room with 25 chairs (shout out to Detroit, I see you). How about ending social promotion and making sure students are competent before promoting them to the next grade level? If they need help, get them some help before they become a teenager who can’t add single digits together or read the words on traffic signs. By the way, smaller class sizes would help in identifying those students who need the extra help. How about encouraging or even mandating some god- damn parental involvement? All of these things would be more helpful than some politician talking out one side of his or her mouth about how good NCLB is and in the next breath championing charter schools that don't have to follow the very same regulations he or she just said were so good.

See, I've just given you four points that can be addressed without mentioning anything specifically about Black People. I’m talking about issues of right and wrong, justice and injustice. You either support one with your voice and action or support the other with you inaction and silence. Whenever I point these (and others) out, I still get people who will say, "Well, he can’t do anything like that because it would seem to favor too many Black people." Do you see how slave like that mentality is? The very notion that Black people would be helped, that their government is supposed to serve them, is anathema to these wretched creatures. That’s why I say you should support a strong Black agenda and have no qualms about it. To those who want to take the opposite position: All I can tell you is that in a hundred years they will be looking at pics of you the same way I look at those pics of white people at slave auctions or at Tea Parties—with disdain and disgust.

Dupage Valley Review

2011-03-29T21:27:00.000-04:00

There's some great poetry, short stories and photography here. I'm not just saying that because I'm in the issue :o) For a free copy of the magazine, contact the Managing Editor, Noe Aratani-Mandiberg

Email: Noe_Aratani-Mandiberg@ben.edu

It is national poetry month so start submitting if you haven't been already. I highly recommend duotrope.com and http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~lcrew/pbonline.html

This Week in Blackness

2010-12-17T11:40:00.000-05:00

Thor-azine: Apparently, there is a white supremacist group called the ~~Tea Party~~ Council of Conservative Citizens that has a problem with Idris Elba playing the Norse God, Heimdel, in the upcoming Thor movie. I guess there weren’t too many of us in Norway, Sweden... and wherever the Hell Björk is from. They do have a point. One thing you can say about this country. We like the depictions of legendary figures to be accurate to the last detail.

"Hair like wool. Skin like Bronze?"

Re-Vick-ulous:

Mike Vick ruffled the feathers of animal rights activist once again when he said he would like to own another dog one day. Let's be honest for a moment: White people love their dogs. They can forgive you for pedophilia (Roman Polanski) or racially-motivated Murders (every police department), but don't let them find out you kicked a dog. They won't never forgive you for that, boy! That's the cardinal sin. In any case, let me be the first to say that all of the animal rights activists out there can eat a cock. Hey.... I'm just talking about chicken :o). You won't be happy unless he's living under a bridge somewhere. If I had my way, the whole lot of you would get the Mike Vick treatment :o).

Prison Break:

The strike heard nowhere around the world. For those who have come across it, you'll find two basic positions on the matter: those who think prisoners are human beings and those who think they are not. "The nerve of these niggas," some say,"to want to be treated as human beings." I would say that the people who subscribe to this position see all those convicted of a crime as animals, but that isn't accurate because many of them like animals (see above :o).

Yeah, I get it; they’ve done the crime so they’ve got to do the time. Still,I can’t get anyone to answer the following question: Why should corporations be allowed to make obscene profits on unpaid prison labor? Here's another question: Why shouldn’t we afford educational opportunities to prisoners to reduce recidivism rates? Well, the answer to this question is obvious. To paraphrase Chris Rock, “there’s no money in the cure.”

It pisses me off that violent crime has decreased over the last 25 years while the prison population has increased dramatically and most of that increase has been in the form of black men imprisoned over small quantities of drugs like Marijuana or crack-cocaine. It also pisses me off that there isn’t a shred of evidence to suggest that black people use drugs anymore than anyone else, yet we are in jail more than anyone else. This is racial profiling pure and simple. I thought Americans by and large were supposed to be against that. What happened to the one line from Martin Luther King that you have memorized? Oh, I see, you're only against racial profiling if it could potentially benefit non-white people. If, however, it puts us in the meat grinder, then you're all for it. To quote Cee-lo, "Fuck you!"

I also hate that I'm constantly subjected to these anti-meth commercials.

"Having to sit through this commercial 3 times in one hour was not supposed to be my life."

For those who don't know, meth is essentially crack for poor, white people. Watch Breaking Bad to get a clue :o) The major difference between crack and meth is that I see billboards for meth treatment centers. There’s a drive to get people treatment without the judgment. There are treatment centers for black addicts as well; It's called prison. There's definitely some "methadone" to the madness. Sometimes I just hate this country.

Ol' Black Donald had a farm

We all know that black farmers recently got their case settled to the tune of 4.6 billion dollars. Who knows when they will actually ALL be compensated? Even if all aggrieved parties get around 50K, it can't repair the damage that was done over several decades of discrimination. They can't undo all the foreclosures and hardships that were consequences of that blatant discrimination. A billion dollars (or two if you include Pigford II) is probably a steal considering what all the parasites and leeches got from those farmers. Here's something else to consider: Most of that intial 4.6 billion actually goes to Native Americans. Why are they portraying this as a "black thing"? Is this another case of "Affirmative Action" at work? We get the coverage and the attacks while others get most of the financial benefits. It's like every black person in this country gets treated like a damn rapper one way or another.

Censor $h!%

2010-11-06T14:05:00.000-04:00

We often interpret the profane language found in mainstream rap music as proof that freedom of speech has not been curtailed. After all, these rappers are allowed to say such vile things. The operative word here is "allowed". They are allowed— and even encouraged, I think— to use language to promote widespread dysfunction and self-denigration within the black community. It’s only when they attempt to bite the hand that feeds them that they feel the pull of the leash. Free speech is only free when you stay within the confines of who they think you should be.

The first and most important question one can ask in relation to this issue is: How do you know when free speech is being curtailed? If you listen to talk radio or Fox news, you’ll often hear conservatives whine about their free speech rights being trampled upon vis-à-vis the fairness doctrine. The irony here is that they are whining about a potential threat to millions of people on a daily basis. You may also recall the various town hall meetings last year that typically ended in screaming matches about healthcare. Critics of Obama’s healthcare plan often felt their voices were being silenced. This too seems hard to believe since I was receiving daily updates on the “unrest” on network and cable news.

Restriction of free speech is tough issue to tackle because, when it’s done well, nobody knows about it. However, there are cases that bubble to the surface and can be recognized by people who are looking/listening. When 2pac Shakur’s How do you want it was released as a single, it contained one of the most vitriolic diatribes ever recorded in Hit ‘em up. I recall that even the most jaded were shocked the first time they heard it. Of course, that was the point. Nothing on this track was censored when it was released. But how many people know what track was censored on his most popular CD? The answer is Got my mind made up. Method man raps, “Like Hitler sticking up Jews with German lugers” Could the lyric be deemed offensive? Yes. Is it more offensive than other lyrics on this album? No. And yet, that was the only lyric censored on the entire album.

Mos Def, who isn’t even considered a “Gangsta rapper” by those fond of using such labels, recorded the brilliant Rapeover: a short and subversive track that takes the bile associated with dis records and turns it on those who green light such projects. This track, taken from his album, The New Danger, was apparently too dangerous for some and was excised from subsequent releases like a tumor. Why was it removed? It makes mention of a “tall Israeli” (Lyor Cohen) and is critical of the corporate influence in Hip Hop.

Let’s not think this is confined to Hip Hop. The now universally loved Michael Jackson got what was left of his chin checked too. It’s interesting to note that he was heading to financial ruin in life, but now has an estate that has generated over a billion dollars since his death. Jackson was rebuked by director Steven Spielberg for even mentioning the term “Kyke” on They don’t care about us from the HIStory Album. The context in which he used the term was very clear. He wasn’t glorifying the degradation of a people. He didn’t make a phonemic alteration and then claim it as a term of endearment. The song was clearly about refuting the hatred associated with the term and others. And yet, he had to apologize for it. The very mention of the term was deemed a great offense to powerful members of the Jewish community.

I recall hearing several songs from DMX’s debut album on back in 1998. He murders half the community before the album ends in a “prayer”. By the close of his second album—released just 8 months later— I imagine he must have been praying by himself. It was o.k. for him to talk about killing large numbers of presumably black people but, for example, rapper C-BO should be held accountable for rapping in a way that could "promote gang violence [or] the gang lifestyle" or is "anti-law enforcement" in nature. More recently, a relatively unknown rapper named T.O. was jailed for a parole violation for his song, Kill Me a Cop that made thinly veiled threats against two officers. The very different standards applied to these rappers and various situations illustrate that what you’re not hearing can be just as important as what you are hearing.

FrontYouTheCash.com

2010-10-24T14:07:00.002-04:00

They’ve pretty much run the gamut of formerly nationally-broadcasted, black male talk show hosts. After Wayne Brady and Magic, I’m on deck:

“Hi, I’m Black Yoda. Yes, I used to be famous; Thank you for remembering. Need money fast? I can help. Money for cigarettes and cheap liquor? Done. Cash to play your numbers? You're covered. Need money to make a payment on your title pawn? No Problem. Just be willing to sell yourself into sexual slavery in perpetuity upon failure to repay my reasonably-priced loan (1000% A.P.R.). I can have the cash in your checking account by tomorrow, so call me… today! :o)”

Midterm Elections? Eh!

2010-10-17T16:57:00.000-04:00

“I got that Obama water. Change the way you hydrate, brotha.”

http://video.adultswim.com/the-boondocks/eh-means-eh.html

With the midterm elections fast approaching, and the DNC flashing a lot of cash on the prowl for some black tail once again, you have another opportunity to get it right and not prostitute yourself. I can’t tell you how many conversations I had during the 2008 elections that mirrored the type of dialogue in that Boondocks clip. I’m black. I didn’t vote for Obama. That doesn’t mean I support the opposition. It’s’ time to start thinking beyond the kind of binary politics that influences the voting decision of so many people.

For black people, it is absolutely necessary that we divest ourselves from the Democratic Party. It doesn't mean you should never vote for a Democrat (or Obama) if he or she represents what you believe. Just know what you believe and make sure your vote is aligned with your beliefs. Don't say you have certain positions and then vote for someone who holds the exact opposite positions...lol.I realize that it’s tough for black people, who have been the political mistresses of the Democrats since at least the time of Lyndon Johnson, to imagine leaving the party. Johnson received black support that rivaled if not surpassed Barack Obama in the wake of his support of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 which essentially outlawed segregation in places that serve the general public. I always make it a point to remind people that oppressed people don't need a legal document to tell them that they are human beings and should be treated as such. This legislation did more to benefit (morally and financially) those who have always benefitted from our subhuman status in this country. In any case, I understand why his position would garner unparalleled support from black people. What, exactly, did Obama do that warranted a similar level of support from us? The answer is nothing unless we count breathing as a significant accomplishment. People of all backgrounds voted for him because of what they thought he represented instead of his actual positions.

People voted for him out of a sense of hope. He now asks you to vote for the Democrats out of a sense of fear. The similarity between hope and fear is that they are both irrational. I've heard the game: If we don’t vote for the Democrats, then the Republicans might win and reverse course. That’s a definite possibility. So what? If the Republicans win, we’ll have politicians in office who don’t give a shit about any of the issues as they pertain to us. How, exactly, is that different from right now?

Let's have one moment of honesty: Republicans and Democrats only care about unemployment and other domestic issues because it affects their ability to get and maintain power, but neither of them would give a shit if black unemployment reached 90% if the overall unemployment decreased. In fact, they would both jump on the opportunity to make that trade. There would be no greater sense of urgency and no policies that directly address those bearing the brunt of the economic collapse. And if I’m wrong, please refer me to the policies or at least a proportional response by the Democrats that directly addresses a black unemployment rate that is nearly double the national average and approaching 50% if you examine the raw numbers of eligible workers and those the Bureau of Labor Statistics considers unemployed or "not in the labor force." This is already a crisis and neither political party gives a damn.

When we put all of our political hopes in one of the two parties, we are taken for granted by one party and ignored by the other. You’ll be ignored by the Democrats until the Republicans get back in (and they will) and then you’ll be ignored again. What’s the upside for us in this? The alternative is to actually vote for politicians who offer tangible benefits in return for your vote (quid pro quo). It amazes me that almost every voting bloc on earth makes demands of their politicians except for black people in this country or other mentally colonized people. Everyone else does this because that’s what you’re supposed to do. The politicians are supposed to work for the people. I can't tell you how many failures I come across who will tell me that we [black people] should make no demands of any black elected officials because their job is hard and white people will turn on them if they appear too sympathetic to us. If that is the case then, to quote E.D.I Mean from 2pac’s “Bomb First”, “What is your motherfuckin purpose?" Apparently he is right when he follows with, "None can serve us,” although he means it in a different way.

People please start looking at the issues and vote for someone you can attest to. Consider voting for a third party candidate, a write in candidate or don’t vote at all (yeah, I said don’t vote). We have more power when we don’t vote than when a vast majority of us ignorantly vote for candidates simply because they’re Democrats (or insert some other superficial trait). They don’t have to do anything to secure your votes. You’re supposed to make gains regardless of who’s in office. LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN: You're supposed to make gains regardless of who's in office. Instead, we suffer what some refer to as “benign neglect” during Democratic rule and designed neglect during Republican rule. To me, it’s all neglect! How long do you plan to stay on your hands and knees?

5 things every so-called "black feminist blogger" should stop doing

2010-10-11T11:40:00.002-04:00

The following is said with heavy doses of love and humor...mostly humor. I shouldn’t have to say that, but I’ve been doing this long enough to know I definitely have to say it. Am I making some serious points? Yes. Do I exaggerate at times to make my points? Yes. Am I being a bit of a clown in the Shakespearean sense? You already know the answer to that. Feel free to love it or hate it. Hopefully, a little bit of both. Here are five things that every single “black feminist blogger” needs to stop doing immediately.

1)Stop blaming black men for everything! You’re a major part of the problem. I’m tired of black men being victimized by the so-called victims. Yes, we’re cavemen and we make a lot of mistakes. Hell, I’m making a mistake right now by telling the truth about some of these “black feminist bloggers.” I have no problem acknowledging that we mess up. Yes, we all have a sexist side to us. But whether you want to accept it or not, you have a huge hand in making us whatever we are. In the black community, you are the primary caregivers more times than not. The black community has become a matriarchal society at this point. If you don’t like what you see, and you’re looking for someone to blame, you can start by looking in the mirror. If we’re terrible sons, then you’re terrible mothers. Whenever I make this point, the bon-bon gallery [men and women] love to point out that I’m not holding all of those absentee fathers responsible. They like to pretend like black men aren’t being taken to task daily by them (and everyone else). So let me be very clear even though it rarely does any good. I am assigning blame to women, not because I think it is entirely their fault (it isn't), but because it isn’t entirely our fault either. It is foolish to say that all the blame belongs to a single group. This might seem like a fairly obvious and non-controversial point, but it isn’t. If you go to almost any website with heavy traffic featuring a post that says black men are not handling their responsibilities, do you know what you get? Mostly applause. You get cosigns. You get approval for the most part. Do you know what happens if you go to the same blog and say black women are not handling their responsibilities? You get a multi-ethnic lynch mob of men and women coming after you for not bowing down and kissing the ~~camel~~ nail-polished toe. The racism that informs the current debate is very obvious. It’s time to recalibrate the debate.

2)Stop using the very worst examples of women as your litmus test for determining sexist attitudes in men. I was ~~set-up~~ asked by a blogger about my thoughts on people like Karrine Steffans. “So what do you think about Superhead?” she said. “She’s a [former] prostitute,” I responded. Well, that really set her off. To be honest, I knew it would. I did it on purpose. I guess that was my way of getting her to react. It was my way of exercising all that power and male privilege I have over her :o) “You don’t know her. You don’t know what she went through.” she exclaimed. I’m pretty sure she said more, but I stopped listening after the first couple of sentences. It’s true that I don’t know her. I only know what she put out for the world to see: her ass and the details of her sexual encounters. She prostituted herself for money and exposure and then she made more money writing about her various trysts with celebrities. Is she more than a prostitute? I’m sure she is. Do I know what else she is? Not really. When she reveals the part about her joining Peace Corps or graduating from college or doing something noteworthy then I’ll be sure to include that in my description of her. In the meantime, she’s a former prostitute who still makes a living based off her sexual exploits.

3)Stop picking the worst among us to determine the norm for manhood. This ties in to the previous point to some degree. Some men and women want us to treat the worst women as our queens while they suggest the best of us are little more than criminals. I don’t listen to something called a Waka Flocka Flame. I’m black and I don’t even know another black man who does listen to him... on purpose. Are there young people and some adults who hang on his every nonsensical word? I’m sure. I’m sure there are black men who listen to Garth Brooks or Justin Bieber or Lady Gaga. Hell, I listened to Conway Twitty the other night while watching “Family Guy” and I quite enjoyed it. It doesn’t mean that he is the new standard of black manhood. I don’t equate Superhead with the average black woman so please don’t equate the average black man with some tattooed ignoramus that wants to be a geometer. I’m sure he knew that’s what you call someone who studies geometry. He just wanted you to think he didn’t know what he was talking about. :o)

4)Stop thinking every word spoken to you by a man is said with the intent of oppressing you. First, the notion that black men are oppressing you is ridiculous to begin with. How can black men oppress you if you’re heading a majority of the households? How can we oppress you if you’re attending and graduating college at a greater rate than us in every area including the STEM fields? How can we be oppressing you if you’re making roughly the same amount of money as us (and possibly more if you control for certain variables)? How can we be oppressing you if so many of us are dead, gay, in jail or unemployed? How exactly is the minority within the black population of this country oppressing the majority? The bottom line is we can’t be oppressing you without your direct consent. And guess what? That isn’t oppression. You might have a masochistic streak to you, but that doesn’t make all of us sadists. Anyway, that was a bit of a tangent. Back to the lecture at hand: Not every pick up line or customary greeting is an attempt by him to put the boot to your neck.

BFB: “He had the nerve to say “Good morning, Sista”. First, I’m not his “sista” and what does he know about my morning? He certainly isn’t entitled to tell me whether it is (or should be) good or not.”

Is it really that serious? I actually deal with jerks all the time that are blatant with their racism, but guess what? I don’t fly off the handle every time I hear something that’s blatantly racist. I may check him or her in a calm manner and keep it moving. You’ve got to pick and choose your battles. That’s part of being an adult, sweetheart…mmmkayy. All right, that last part was a “1950’s pat on the bottom as the secretary is filing some paperwork” level of sexism and condescension on my part :0)

5)Stop talking about dating white men like it’s some sort of threat to black men. Nobody really gives a shit. We may object to your bashing black men on your way to embracing the swirl, but we really don’t give a shit that you want to date a white man. Just do it already! In fact, I would be grateful if white men took all of you off our hands. I would even go as far as calling it even with white people if they took the lot of you. That’s right! The slavery. The Jim Crow. All is forgiven. There would only be one caveat: you must not have any kids. I don’t want to have to deal with all of your mentally confused blonde-afro’d offspring.

Anyway, the point of this blog is to say, stop being so nasty all the time. Stop taking yourself so seriously all the time because I don’t :0) There are too many good things out there for me to be consumed with anger all the time. Sometimes when I see some shit, I do what I can, but afterwards, I have to say, “Fuck your racism!” Your racism isn’t worth the toll it would take on my physical and emotional health. I think everyone has to do the same with their private struggles and public obstacles. You have to choose to be happy. "It’s trite but true and even that was a cliché too." It’s hard to be happy if you’re always holding on to negative feelings. If the content of this post makes you angry, then please be angry. After all, you know how much I love having all that power over you, right?? :o)

Musical Musings

2010-10-03T15:47:00.000-04:00

I often hear people complain that Hiphop is filled with “misogyny” (they often mean sexual objectification) and materialism. I think they might have a point if you restricted your listening and viewing to the mainstream media, but for those of us who actively search for quality music, we never come up empty. The question people often ask is: Why is it that we only see ignorance, material excess and objectification of women? Doesn’t that indicate that something is seriously wrong with our culture…with us? What some who ask this question fail to realize is that this is precisely the question you’re supposed to ask. The images and sounds that flood your home via the television and radio is an effective way of filling us with self-doubt along with the self-loathing. We often pick up on the self-loathing aspect, but we usually miss the much more subtle, but insidious self-doubt aspect. Mainstream music is not just designed to appeal to the prurient interest; it’s also a great way of making us apathetic. After all, if we truly are fundamentally flawed, then how can we be trusted to exercise good judgment in any arena? Why would anyone want to do anything to help us? It would be a wasted effort.

Once you come to understand the malicious intent of those who are truly in charge, you realize just how counterproductive it is to attack the rappers. They are pawns in a much larger game. They may be paid more handsomely for their willingness to play their position, but they didn’t create the position, they simply applied for the position created for them. And whether you want to admit it or not, most of us apply for positions without questioning their purpose or their real impact on others. The messages transmitted to us through these songs and videos are basically the same messages that get transmitted to everyone else. We just get a more concentrated form of the capitalist message. It’s all about self. Get yours. Do whatever it takes to be successful regardless of who is injured or marginalized in the process. Disown and/or disrespect the people who supported you so you can get millions of votes. Play the role of the buffoon or the buck so you can win out at the box office. Play the role of the womanizing gangster so you can sell a million cds. It’s the exact same message just in different arenas. In short, sell yourself for personal gain. The media trains us like seals to clap in some instances and bow our heads and rollover in others…all for a sardine or two…or possibly a million. The problem is you believe you’re doing well when you get a sardine, but you’re still part of the damn show! You’re nothing but an animal to them no matter how human-like your behavior is.

I will hear people laser in on the cowardice shown by rappers who don’t put the most vulnerable of us ahead of their own personal interest, but endorse and applaud the exact same behavior of a politician. You’ve been trained well, young pup. It’s wrong for a rapper to say, “Fuck the community.” It’s wrong for a rapper to say, “I’m going to do whatever I have to do to get money.” But you’ll apologize for a politician doing the same thing to get votes. You’ll chalk that up to the cost of Realpolitik. Oh yes, you’re part of the show, clown! Now come jump through this hoop and maybe you’ll get another scooby snack. The entire process is revolting: the selling out and our selective responses to it. The latter is actually more troubling than the former because if you say “fuck the community” at least you’re being honest (and repugnant). The same thing can’t usually be said for those who practice selective outrage on the easiest targets. They're just repugnant.

Some people believe we see the same videos or hear the same songs over and over again because that is what the people want. The real reason why you see so much of the same thing is the corporations have decided that’s all you want to see. And if they keep playing the same garbage long enough you’ll become accustomed to it and you'll even begin to like it at some point. It’s true. I even tried it myself. I’ve had people tell me I’m a musical snob because I like lyrics that have a point to them. That’s true. I do like lyrics that have a point. I don’t really care what you choose to talk about, just do it in a way that’s creative and demonstrates that there’s some level of intelligence behind it. You can even talk about nothing in a way that’s intelligent or interesting. I just don’t want to hear some idiot babble on and on with no discernable point. If that makes me a snob, so be it. In any case, even a musical snob like me can develop a taste for the garbage music on the radio.

I spent the last two weeks listening to the radio on my way to work. I listened to the same half dozen songs they played over and over again. I hated them originally, but by the end of the second week I was actually kinda digging them. The musical snob was “finna throw them deuces up.” I enjoyed listening to the emo-like verses of adult males talking about being betrayed by women (Thought it was true love, but you know women lie. It’s like I sent my love with a text two times. Call cause I care but I ain’t get no reply). That’s right!!! They do lie! I too was ready to “put my middle finger up and let the index finger fol---low”. I even suspended my disbelief of a male being so turned off by a woman that he turns gay: “She make me wanna leave the one I’m with, Usher Raymond. (Yeah, I get the reference, but the problem is I still heard what he said.) I was ready to “be your alcohol hero”. I was Big Meech and Larry Hoover…I swear I was. I was opening bottles of Mr. Pibb in the student lounge screaming at the top of my lungs, “that’s her…that’s her, that’s her, that’s her… with her nails done, hair done, everything did…hair done, nails done, everything did.” So yes, even I can learn to find some pleasure in something I hated in just a period of two weeks. The difference is I understand that this is being done purposely to us by those who see us as nothing more than a means to their own end. I know that there are as many different artists as there are people. I understand that the kinds of things we hear on the radio are not there because of popular demand; they are there because of corporate manufactured popularity. At this point in my life, I am convinced that to argue against the “misogyny” and materialism of mainstream Hiphop is really to endorse it. To talk about the materialism and “misogyny” in mainstream Hiphop only serves to help others feel powerless to stop it because obviously you can’t stop it. If you could, that’s what you would be doing instead of simply lamenting about how pervasive it is. That’s precisely the wrong message you want to send to young people or anyone else for that matter. Our strength, in this case, comes from our ability to resist being dictated to. It’s ok to have that garbage (or anything else) on the radio if you have a strong mind and develop an equally strong mind in your children. The question isn’t: Are we strong enough to change mainstream Hiphop? The question is: Are we strong enough to not let it change us?

Should I go to the Sunday Show?

2010-09-25T18:41:00.000-04:00

I’ve been wondering if I should go to this week's most anticipated show: Service at Eddie Long’s church. I am only minutes away from his church. I might even be able to get on CNN. How might that interview go?

Starts rubbing chin, wavy lines ensue:

Fredricka Whitfield: Sir, how long have you been in attendance at Bishop Long’s church?

Black Yoda: What time did the service start today?

Fredricka Whitfield: 8am

Black Yoda: What time is it now?

Fredricka Whitfield: 10:30am

Black Yoda: Then about 2 and a half hours.

Fredricka Whitfield: So...you’ve never been here before. Are you planning on joining?

Black Yoda: No. I have no intention of becoming a member.

Fredricka Whitfield: Are you a member of another church here to show support or criticize Bishop Long?

Black Yoda: No.

Fredricka Whitfield: Then why are you here?

Black Yoda: For the same reason you’re here: To enjoy the show. This is about as close as I can get to witnessing a live execution without being related to the victim or risk being hit by a stray bullet.

Fredricka Whitfield: Do you think Eddie Long is guilty?

Black Yoda: If this makes it to the air, could you loop the two pictures you got as I give my response. Ready? Now?...OK... Look at these damn photos. You know good and damn well he’s guilty. Never trust a man who wears spandex.

Fredricka Whitfield: What did you find most troubling about the allegations?

Black Yoda: The fact that he called himself Dick Tracy and took a boy to his guest house on “Snapfinger” road. If you believe in God, then I think you have to believe that God gives you a sign from time to time. "Snapfinger" = Sign.

Fredricka Whitfield: How do you think this will affect the congregation?

Black Yoda: You mean how will they feel knowing their spiritual leader is a pederast? They’ll be fine. They were ok giving their money to a materialistic pimp who preys on (and prays for) gullible people. This is only slightly worse.

Fredricka Whitfield: What do you think about his victims?

Black Yoda: I think they’re gay.

Fredricka Whitfield: Do you think any good can come from this?

Black Yoda: Yes, I hope that every guy who still wears muscle shirts will look at the pics of Eddie Long (flash them again while I’m saying this) because that’s exactly how you look to everyone else. I also hope they can find that one brother that was calling him his father despite not knowing his number or email…I hope they can find him another role model. Maybe the guy that produced Precious or Terry MacMillan’s ex husband wouldn’t mind “men-toring” him.

Fredricka Whitfield: Thank you for your time,

Black Yoda: Thank you Fredericka. You look really nice, by the way. Why don’t we grab a cup of coffee after the show?

Fredricka: *smiles*

Wavy lines…back to reality

Yep, that’s exactly how it would go. So, should I go to the Sunday show?

Problems

2010-09-04T09:41:00.000-04:00

I’ve had the misfortune of having to drive through South Carolina several times over the last two years and I have been pulled over almost every time. Here’s what happened a couple of nights ago: An officer tailgated me for about half a mile before pulling up beside me. His side view mirror was somewhere between 12 and 18 inches from my side view mirror. I sped up; he sped up. I slowed down; he slowed down. I signaled and moved into the right lane and that’s when his light came on. He comes up to my window and asks for my license and registration. I slowly reach for it in the glove compartment (does anyone actually put gloves in there?)

He says:

“Do you have any weapons in there? Any weapons in the vehicle…machine guns…anything like that? Any drugs?”

Who do I look like!? T.I.? I asked him why he pulled me over. He tells me he was tailing me because he needed probable cause to pull me over. NOTE: He didn’t have probable cause to follow me (ex. driving erratically, speeding, brake light out, etc.) He engaged me through reckless driving (tailgating) to get me to react to him so that he could use that as justification to pull me over. Technically, I was pulled over because, in South Carolina, “you have to give 50 yards when signaling before changing lanes.” Apparently, I gave less than 50 yards. :-(

In any case, he’s asking me questions while his partner is running my license hoping to see some warrants so he can be part of his first big arrest (It was clear he was still green). I know how the police work: They like to ask questions and get you talking so they can catch you in a lie. Everything you do and say can and will be used against you. Even though I have nothing to hide, I find their tactics insulting so I usually play a game with them I like to call “Expose The Racist”. The object of the game is to give them as little info as possible and get them talking as much as possible because people who tend to rely on racist notions usually aren’t too bright. Evil? Yes. Arrogant? Sure. Smart? No. And they don’t need to be when they have entire institutions to support and nurture their racism. You get the typical racist talking and s/he will reveal their true nature soon enough. You win when you expose their racism. I know...not much of a pay-off there :-). But this I know: The rat will come out of his hole eventually. Most ~~pigs~~……~~police officers~~…pigs try to hide their racism a little bit. He was pretty transparent with his. He exposed himself right after I asked him why he pulled me over so the game was over before it even began. I know what he saw: “A Nigga in a Cadillac.” He figured there’s a good chance I was moving weight. Unfortunately, I disappointed him and he let me go with a written warning.

As I continued my journey, I saw the same blue flashing lights as regularly as I saw exit signs. It was almost always the exact same scene on the side of the road: late model car/SUV and a black man. As I was collecting my thoughts, I heard the song “Problems” by J. Cole for the first time. I’ve heard of him before, but I never went out of my way to listen to him. I have to admit his second verse made quite an impression:

Hey, Dear Mr. Policeman
Hey am I wrong, aint you suppose to keep the peace man?
I coulda swore I was driving pretty peaceful
So why the hell is you pullin’ over me fo’?
Is it this black Mercedez? (Oh now I get it, I get it, I get it)
Or cause I’m black? Hmmm, maybe
Hey, tell me why my hands start sweatin’ and I hold my breath every time that you get behind me
I turn my music down, so you won’t hear a sound, man I’m nervous like I got a couple pounds on me
You pulled me over, you frown on me
With your flashlight, tell me what do you see
Thug niggas, drug dealers, it’s a trip, every nigga in this whip got a mothafuckin’ college degree

So what will I do? I’ll file a complaint. It probably won’t do anything, but at least it might start a paper trail. I know unchecked racism doesn’t get better on its own. He (the officer) may just get better at covering it up so I want there to be a record so that when he or his rookie partner take it to the next level (and they will) perhaps the instant credibility they receive for being officers might at least come into question.

I know this might seem like a considerable change in topic, but this is an example of why I am so adamantly opposed to the immigration bill in Arizona in its original or revised form. The subsequent revisions and executive orders were only done to try to undercut the legal and morally sound arguments against it. The bottom line is the same slack-jawed troglodytes who pulled me over will be the ones enforcing the law and the amount of training needed to get them to enforce any law fairly is tantamount to the amount of training needed to get a caveman to behave like an aristocrat.

I have no problem with ethnicity being taken into consideration as one of many factors, but it should not the sole factor or even the deciding factor. The fact that I’m black and drive a car isn’t enough to warrant the response I received. For some, it's more than enough and that should give any rational person pause. I had a conversation with a typical conservative, talk radio listening asshole about my situation. Of course, he sided with the police. They were, after all, trying to prevent crime and if that meant I had to be inconvenienced then I should be willing to accept that in the name of maintaining law and order. I know you want to know how I checked him: Check out this ownage: In the course of our conversation I smoothly transitioned in the topic of Affirmative Action (which has done wonders for white women and the white men they typically marry). I asked him what he thought about it. He gave me a response that sounded like the slop you might hear on AM radio. Here was my response: “So, you’re telling me you have no problem with the government unjustifiably targeting people who look like me for illegal activity, but you have a problem with the government targeting people who look like me in a way that could be potentially helpful?” It was a wrap after that...lol "Another thrilling victory for our champ, Black Yoda. Let's see if he can do it again tomorrow on ETR. Good night, everybody!"

I turned into Silky Johnson on him:

“I hope all the bad things in life happen to you and nobody else but you.”

But seriously, why couldn't I have been born two or three centuries from now? By then, whatever major disaster that resets this planet should have occurred. Or, if there is no disaster, people should have evolved to the point where I don't have to deal with this shit. I realize that all of you benefit from having me here, but what good does that do for me :-)

From Riots to Righteousness

2010-07-09T13:02:00.000-04:00

I’ve been reading some news reports of vandalism and small bouts of civil unrest (buried under Lebron James reports) in the wake of the Oscar Grant trial verdict. Take a moment to read some of the comments on various news websites—even the so-called liberal websites—and you will see another example of just how racist this “post-racial” society really is. If you can manage to read through the comments without vomiting, you’ll find a few common reactions and questions.

Here are some of my favorites lifted from Fox and CNN:

Where's the outrage when an unarmed white person is murdered by a black man?

Some people only know how to be violent. Then they wonder why people discriminate against them.

You didn’t see white people looting and rioting when O.J. won.

These kinds of questions show precisely why this country is doomed. There will never be peace! The level of racism and obtuseness is simply too much to overcome. I don’t like to call some people hopeless, but there’s no other word that accurately describes them. Let me be clear: there are hopeless people of every ethnicity. The problem is that some people are still having trouble identifying the source of that hopelessness and learning how to effectively combat it. Let’s address some of the comments. In fact, let’s address them all at once since they all essentially say the same thing.

“You didn’t see white people looting and rioting when O.J. won.”

He won?

He was acquitted of murdering two people only to be held accountable for their deaths in a civil case. White people don’t riot; they join militias. White people don’t riot; they join tea parties and talk about taking their country back while members armed with assault rifles stand in attendance. White people don’t riot; they talk openly about secession. White people don’t riot because they have the legal mechanisms coupled with the sense of entitlement to say and do what they want. And I’m not mad at them for that. I’m also not afraid to call it like it is. They didn’t riot in the O.J. case; they just found him guilty in a civil case and made him a social pariah. He couldn’t work and got yoked up for stealing cable. He couldn’t work after that and got yoked up again trying to live out the refrain to “Kick in the Door” by Biggie Smalls. The funny thing is he was trying to rob people who had his shit. Much of his other belongings were taken from him because he was found responsible for the deaths of people that he was found not guilty of murdering. Seriously, what is he supposed to do to earn a living? What business can he start that people will support? Maybe he can be a salesperson for Cutco knives?...lol No one is going to hire his black ass. Personally, I don’t care about O.J. at all. Still, I can be honest about his situation. He can’t work in any legitimate job. He can’t even do a minimum wage job. Do you even think O.J. could work in peace as the manager of a McDonalds?

How, exactly, did he win?

This is how white supremacy works. They make us think we won when we lost. And, on the rare occasions when we could win, they make sure we lose…so they can tell us we won again. Only in this country can the murder of an unarmed, restrained black man lead to conversations about how black people act like animals and deserve to be treated badly.

No one sees the connection between the racist comments and the counterproductive actions and comments of some black people. The ignorant and racist like to ask questions like: Why are they (black people) upset about this, but not upset about “black on black” violence? Let’s set aside the piss poor thought process that leads one to assume that one can’t be active against both at the same time. Let’s explore the question anyway. You have people who are willing to destroy property (they don’t own) and hurt people (they don’t know) when they “riot”. Isn’t that exactly what happens with “black on black crime”? Is it possible that all of these cases are rooted in the exact same place? What causes one to engage in senseless acts of violence? In my opinion, it’s rooted in the belief that that you don’t matter and in the idea that nothing you do matters. For us, that means buying into a white supremacist ideology which consistently tells us we don’t matter and we aint shit. Once you realize your worth and refuse to buy into a system that says you’re worthless, you will begin to do better. You begin to see the true adversaries in your path and all that misdirected anger and rage can be channeled in the right direction.

All of this is to say that our problem lies in our complicity with this racist society. That is our greatest challenge. It’s not easy to overcome. You have to fight against all of the racists. You have to fight against all the ignoramuses. You’ve got to fight against all the apologists for the racists and ignoramuses. You’ve got deal with all of the people who are timid or too afraid to incur the wrath of the racists and ignoramuses. You’ve got to deal with all the people who collude with the racists and ignoramuses. They are often the hardest ones to deal with because they often look like us or hide among us. They are the people who provide the image for cheap cognac, cheap food and overpriced (and gaudy) clothing and jewelry. They are the people who provide the image for racist domestic and foreign policies. They are the people who criticize black people for being materialistic, but will not dare attack those who make the real money of those products. Bill Cosby? Barack Obama? They are completely worthless in regards to progressive politics. Why? They are worthless because they will not attack the corporations that create, market and profit from these products. In fact, they are actually an added obstacle because they directly or indirectly support the very same corporations that make huge profits at our expense. They limit their conversation to attacking the show pieces and the people who have no real power…the easiest cogs in the machine to replace. And while I have no problem with attacking people who willingly prostitute themselves, I’m not going to let the pimps off the hook. All right, enough of my rant. But we need to start rejecting the people and products that leech of black people—all of them. We need to reject the notion that the people who hate us are going to do right by us. We need to reject the court systems and school systems, current political systems and the Mass Media as final arbiters of matters that take place in our homes and in our communities. No trial verdict surprises me. No racist action surprises me. What saddens me is the overall lack of boldness from people. I’m not talking about some prepared statement given by a politician in a suit that may or may not slightly acknowledge an injustice but urges calm. I’m not talking about some damn protest or vigil led by Al Sharpton in between shooting commercials for predatory lenders. That’s not bold and neither are they. I’m talking to you. I want you to be bold. Black people. White people. Everybody. I want you to start telling the hardcore truth and state it publicly like me. Stop being scared about what the very worst among us will think about it. Let them attack you. At least you will know who your enemies are. But, more importantly, you’ll know who your friends are.

A Dark Pupil Watching

2010-05-06T15:58:00.000-04:00

A Dark Pupil Watching

2010-01-31T21:17:00.001-05:00

This is the intro to a book I wrote that's sitting in a box somewhere in the basement. I liked the graffiti doodle created by Ladessa Sullivan. I felt like it visually represented the tone of the piece. Check out her page for artwork. I recommend the youtube site to see her sped-up paintings. She's uber-talented.

Website:
http://Myspace.com/CandyAcidReign
http://Youtube.com/CandyAcidReign
http://TheVerbalArtist.ning.com
http://TheVerbalArtist.net
http://CandyAcidReign.com

Please add the "Fan" Page:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/CandyAcidReign/51808039983

....................................................................

The more people I come to know, the greater the loneliness I feel. I know I am not alone in believing that we are a world of islands, a nation of groups, a group of individuals… pieces of humanity set adrift. I do not take solace in this— our shared understanding— because it only serves to show how isolated we are from one another. The powerful and unscrupulous exploit this isolation to maintain their advantage. They lead us to think that an “illegal alien” scrubbing toilets or working in a sweat-shop is the reason why we don’t have good jobs or access to health care. They lead us to think that there is an ocean of distance and difference between us. Someone once told me that as a Christian she could not worship with a Muslim. I replied, “As a Christian, how could you not?” They lead us to be weary of each other and even ourselves. Contrary to popular opinion, those in power are not really afraid of the truth. They are not afraid of anarchist or communist movements. They are not afraid of protests or riots. They are not afraid of “radical Islam”. What they fear is the power of a voice and its ability to resonate with the people. Anyone who has ever shown the ability to mobilize large numbers of people in significant and status quo-changing ways is a threat, and therefore, a target. In many cases, the threat can be neutralized by exposing hypocrisy or human weakness, something we are all subject to. In other cases, the person can be bought with money or with the things money can buy. If that doesn’t work, there’s always the bullet.

There’s a war going on right now. I’m not just referring to Iraq or Afghanistan. I am also not just referring to the latest outbreaks of the so-called Cultural Wars. Gay marriage is not the sign of the apocalypse. Neither is abortion or “Gangsta rap”. Our society is progressing, or not, to the satisfaction of most. The real war is all around us. It’s always been there. The battleground is in the mind, at work, in the home, at school and the playground. It is taking place both here and abroad. It manifests itself physically, mentally, spiritually and in any other way we consider important to us. The enemy is hopelessness and depression. It is provincial views and destructive tribalism. It is the inability to understand historical context. It is the flood of drugs into our community: the crack, the alcohol, the cigarettes and fast food, among others. It’s the political vultures who come to rest in the principal’s office, the mayor’s office and the White House. The enemy can be the Chief of Police, the Pastor or the owner of your neighborhood market. It could even be you.

We couldn’t possibly live in a world this troubled if most people were what they purport to be. And this is why, in some of my weaker moments, I don’t like most people very much. This is definitely a failing on my part, but I’ve stopped trying to explain why I feel like this a long time ago. I got tired of qualifying my statements to make them clearer for some. I hear so many people comment on the provincial attitudes of others and then fail to recognize it in themselves. There are so many people who see the darkness but not the beauty in others, and the beauty but not the darkness in themselves.

We are living in some trying times. We often wait for others to take the lead or hope those in power will do the right thing. We must all become more proactive. We must all reach a little bit further. We must pull one another back into the collective fold. Because if we don’t, we will continue to drift further and farther apart and never again shall we meet.

Bottoms UP

2010-01-10T12:28:00.000-05:00

A small helping of a much bigger facebook blog :-) It's just jokes !!!

“They have the "Big Mac". We have the "Big Mick". They both contain two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions. But they use a sesame seed bun. My buns have no seeds.”—Cleo McDowell

We’ve all heard about Hooters. It’s like a family-oriented ~~strip~~ chicken strip club. Well, they focus on certain part of the female form and that’s fine. That’s beautiful. But what about the “gentleman” who prefers a different kind of cleavage? What about him? Why should he be ignored or discriminated against? So my brother and I came up with a new spot called Bottoms UP. It too will be a sports bar kind of place…where the only flat thing will be the TV screen and the walls will be filled with all kinds of license plates, sports memorabilia and any other garbage I can find at a garage sale or thrift store. The difference is we focus on the booty instead of the booby(not that we're against that). Our uniforms will be custom made to fit. I can promise you this: We’ll have the most “well-rounded” employees ever. Our mascot will be the Donkey. Here’s a rough sketch of the Logo. I would like to extend one of the humps in the “B” to become the “U” in up. It’ll be a real brick house :-)

A Case for Nonviolence

2009-12-17T17:17:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about what President Obama said in accepting his Nobel Prize. It sounded good. It’s mostly empty rhetoric, but I do believe he stated his case to the best of his ability and as well as could be expected given who he is and what he represents. Here’s the part that stood out to me:

"I make this statement mindful of what Martin Luther King said in this same ceremony years ago -- "Violence never brings permanent peace. It solves no social problem: it merely creates new and more complicated ones." As someone who stands here as a direct consequence of Dr. King's life's work, I am living testimony to the moral force of nonviolence. I know there is nothing weak -- nothing passive -- nothing naive -- in the creed and lives of Gandhi and King.

But as a head of state sworn to protect and defend my nation, I cannot be guided by their examples alone. I face the world as it is, and cannot stand idle in the face of threats to the American people. For make no mistake: Evil does exist in the world. A nonviolent movement could not have halted Hitler's armies. Negotiations cannot convince al Qaeda's leaders to lay down their arms. To say that force is sometimes necessary is not a call to cynicism -- it is a recognition of history; the imperfections of man and the limits of reason."

--Barack Obama

He says he can’t be guided by their principle alone, but it’s clear he’s not guided by their principles at all. At the very least, I hope people are beginning to see how misguided and grossly ignorant it is to compare Martin Luther King and Barack Obama in any way except to say that they are on opposite ends of the political and moral spectrum. Martin Luther King spent his life in a nation that willfully condoned terrorist acts against its own people. He was under pressure, much more than the president, and he still maintained his principles. Barack Obama is an opportunist of the worst sort. He’s not a consequence of MLK’s legacy; he’s a retraction of it.

However, he is probably right when he says that a Nonviolent Movement would not have “halted Hitler’s armies.” But a just and nonviolent movement may have prevented his rise to power. This is the part that’s lost on him and so many others who see no alternative to war. Remember, Hitler came to power because of a previous war—World War I. The Treaty of Versailles made Germany the bitch of the Allied Powers. What happens when you bitch an entire nation or group of people long enough? Unless you’re talking about African-Americans, most of whom have had their political and intellectual will broken, you’re eventually going to get a forceful response. After being bitched economically and politically for two decades, the situation was ripe for someone like Hitler to come to power by preaching hyper nationalism and the scapegoating of others. In a way, World War I was necessary to allow the Nazis to come to power and implement their murderous policies. Perhaps a more peaceful and just approach at the end of World War I could have prevented World War II or at least greatly reduced the size and scope of the subsequent war. Admittedly, this is conjecture much like Obama’s assertion that nonviolence would not be an effective policy in certain situations. But if that’s the case, if we are both dealing in conjecture, then why not choose peace? It’s true that Obama inherited this war, but it’s his choice to continue it and it will be his choice to pass it on.

Cheating with the Stars

2009-12-06T12:47:00.000-05:00

I’ve decided to enhance a blog I posted on MySpace because it seems so relevant in light of the Tiger Woods (or, as I like to say in the voice of Peoples Hernandez from Shaft: “Tie-gear Woooz”) situation. Imagine if they combined “Dancing with the Stars” and “Cheaters”…Cheating with the Stars. Can you imagine seeing the grayscale footage of Elin Woods busting out Tiger’s windows or going upside his head? It would be a ratings bonanza. It’s true enough that the White (or is it cablanasian?) Tiger is a very rare catch, but there is plenty of smaller game out there to be had. All the B and C-level celebrities, actors and rappers who got a little bit of money, and a little bit of fame, trying to kick a little bit of game would make excellent marks for someone with a little bit of aim.

Last night, I saw an episode of Cheaters that featured a guy cheating on his girl on some kind of farm. He picked up a horsewhip and started cracking it at the feet of the camera crew. He said, “Dance, Motherfuckers, dance!” I don’t watch much TV, but I have to admit I was thoroughly entertained by that. Anyway, I’ve decided to give you a sneak peak of the premiere episode.

Hello, I’m Joey Greco. Welcome to another riveting episode of Cheaters. Meet Kermit, a Muppet “green with envy” ever since he suspected that his girlfriend, Ms. Piggy, might be “bringing home the bacon” to someone else. We here at Cheaters attempt to help Kermit obtain the truth he so desperately seeks.

Investigation Day 5: Ms. Piggy can be seen entering a parking lot with a gentleman.

It’s clear by their embrace inside the vehicle that their relationship is more than casual. She proves that she is the weakest “link” in this relationship as she "hams" it up with another man while “hocking” up bacon bits of betrayal to Kermit during the following phone call:

Miss Piggy: Hey.
Kermit: When are you coming home?
Miss Piggy: I...umm...I’m a little busy. You know how it is with these movie shoots.
Kermit: I know. I just miss you and I wanna see you.
Miss Piggy: I wanna see you too, but I can’t get away. Look I’ll call you later.
Kermit: When are you coming back?
Miss Piggy: I don’t know. Hey, I gotta get back to work. I’ll call you later.
Kermit: I love you.
Miss Piggy: Bye.

Investigation Day 13: The same gentleman previously seen with Piggy can be seen entering her trailer on set. The silhouette of their embrace can be seen through the curtains and Cheaters feels compelled to bring this case to a close and prepare a dossier for Kermit.

Joey Greco: Kermit, I’m sorry to have to tell you this. But you asked us to investigate and I want to show you our findings. Are you ready to see the footage compiled by our detectives? Here you can see Piggy leaving a restaurant parking lot with a gentleman. Do you know him?

Kermit: Yes, I know him. I thought he was my friend.

Joey Greco: Well, he goes into Ms. Piggy’s trailer and…well, let’s just say friends wouldn’t behave this way. I’m sorry to have to (phone rings)…hold on… “Yes, we’re here. They are? O.K.” My investigators have just informed me that Piggy and the gentleman are together at the park. We can provide you with a chance to ask her the questions you would like answered. Would you like to avail yourself of this opportunity?

Kermit: Yes.

Coming up Next:
.

Joey Greco: All right, I see them. We’re pulling up now.

Kermit:What is this?

Piggy: You’ve been spying on me?

Kermit: I have to because you won’t talk to me.

Piggy : Get that camera out of my face…(delivers a karate chop)

Kermit: And what about you? I thought you were my friend?

Identity Withheld: Look, it aint what it looks like. Get outta my face. Hey, if you’re feeling froggy, then jump. Look, we’re doing movies. We’re remaking all the Muppet Movies. The Great Muppet Caper is going to be The Great Muppet Gaper. Muppet Treasure Island will be Muppet Pleasure Island. We got Janice, Camilla, even Red and Mokey from Fragile Rock to do a guest spot. Ma Gorg will be doing a milf scene for us too. We doing it big and taking the Muppets to new territories. It ain’t personal. Strictly Business.

Kermit: Is this what you want? You’re willing to throw away everything to make a smut film? He doesn’t surprise me. The drugs? The Rock n’ Roll? He’s always been an animal. But you?

Piggy: It’s what I want to do with my life.

Kermit: My family is going to see this. Statler and Waldorf are going to run wild with this. How am I supposed to face them?

Identity Withheld: Let’s get out of here Piggy. (They both get into a pick-up truck).

Kermit: If you leave now, that’s it.

Piggy: We’ll talk about this at home.

Kermit: No, talk about it now or that’s it.

Piggy: I’m not talking about it in front of the cameras.

Kermit: Well there you go. Bye. (They speed off) I guess this little Piggy is going all the way home with someone else!

Joey Greco: I’m sorry you had to go through that.

Kermit: If I had tear ducts, I would cry. And to think of all the girls I passed on because of her. I coulda had Annie Sue. Damn. Well, I’m better off without her.

Announcer: Are you tired of being cheated on? Meet up with faithful singles at nocheatersdate.com

Announcer: After the show, Kermit said he was hopeful about the future. He says his career is taking off with a starring role in the movie adaptation of the once popular Nintendo game, Battle Toads. He says betrayal was a hard pill to swallow, but he will pull through because he’s always known “it ain’t easy being green”. Piggy said that she knew she “was wrong for deceiving Kermit”, but that he went about it the wrong way. She says, “He should have come to her like a real frog and not a tadpole.” Piggy’s companion said that “the only greenback he ever cared about has pictures of dead presidents on it.” He says he never tried to hurt Kermit, but “once the animal in him is unleashed, it cannot be controlled.”

"Thank you Mr. G"

Can you guess Piggy's paramour in this case? If so, you may have what it takes to be a detective for Cheaters.

Black Yoda's Institute of Higher lurning

2009-08-13T17:06:00.000-04:00

Given the terrible economy, you have a lot of people who are out of work and can’t find work. Consequently, a lot of people are going back to school for more training. I suppose they might as well if no one is hiring and you’re unwilling or unable to start your own business. I turned on the TV and every other commercial was about going back to school. A few warnings:

1)If the School’s website isn’t just name of the school, that’s a problem. For example, if your “school” is named Johnson-Smith College and the website is MyJohnsonSmithCollege42.com, then you should be seeing a big Family Feud style “X”. I won’t even get into the fact that the web address ends with “com” instead of “edu”.

2)Be wary of the “common spokesperson” in the “common situation”. The everyman/woman motivational speaker will try to tell you that you too can be on your way to a better life in less time than you think (whatever that means). S/he will tell you that if they can do it then anyone can do it (not exactly a glowing endorsement of the field or themselves). They may use slang or light humor to connect with the viewer. Everyday locations include bowling alleys, jazz clubs, dirt bike trails and the beach. Big Red X number two.

3)Be wary of all those “institutes” that featuring Medical billing programs. Seriously, how great is the demand for…uh…medical billers? These commercials always show a chick wearing some pastel colored scrubs talking about how great it is to work with doctors. Yeah, the two of you are colleagues :-) Big Red X number 3.

I saw one commercial about a guy who wanted to do better than his friends that “were going nowhere”. He rubs his chin and gives a contemplative look while saying, “So I got to thinking, every building has need for heating, cooling and ventilation.”(paraphrase) This was his spring board into the apparently lucrative HVAC field. I have no problem with the field or the institutes that offer specialized training. But he got to thinking….lol…he got to thinking… and that’s what he thought about…lol Maybe that’s just funny to me. When I get to thinking it’s about women or some deep philosophical question like, “How do I get women?” :-) This guy thinks about air conditioning units ...lol “Every house needs a toilet, so I got to thinking that I should be a plumber.” lol My guess is that people become plumbers because you can make decent money without going to jail or school for a decade. But is plumbing a calling? Is plumbing the result of someone’s deep thought? I guess so. Anyway, I’m picking on this commercial too much.

I think I want to open my own institute. It won’t be fully accredited, but there will be financial aid for those who qualify 1. Just send me a money order for $100 and you’ll get your B.S. 2 Just get up, go to Western Union and send me my money. Don’t you want to be a winner for once in your life? Don’t you want to be able to afford the kind of lifestyle that will allow you to go to the water park with your obese wife and kids to film a testimonial for my institute? Don’t you want to be able to have a picnic at a local park? How are you going to pay for all of those bologna sandwiches? Get on the path to a better life by sending me my money now. If you have any questions email one of our counselors at black_yoda@hotmail.com. We’ll be glad to help you.

1) no one will qualify
2) B.S. = Bull Shit

To the Obamanauts

2009-07-20T13:01:00.006-04:00

Isn't he supposed to have yours????

I just thought I would educate the blind Obama supporters out there. Someone has to do it. I don’t hate Obama. I know he’s under a tremendous amount of pressure, but he chose the job. There are too many blind followers out there. And since, according to them, it’s wrong to demand...like…actual leadership from the President, I guess I got to take the lead and school you myself. Here are a few things every supporter needs to start looking at more closely. It’s for your own good : -)

1)Many of his supporters think he’s transcended race. He hasn’t transcended race. He’s mired in it. Some people think using race-neutral language means you’ve transcended race. If you just stop using racial slurs, does that mean you’re no longer racist? The ignorance is astounding. I’m almost overwhelmed by this level of ignorance. Ignorance isn’t even the right word. It’s really stupidity. It hits me like an alien entity transmitting vast amounts of information into my brain. There’s so much information that only my genius keeps me from going mad under the strain of processing information no human brain was designed to comprehend. :-) He has not transcended race anymore than someone who refuses to acknowledge a disease or the cure has transcended it. “Hey, I’m just not going to get my blood pressure checked. Therefore I’ve transcended hypertension.” Some people believe it’s the ones who talk about race that are limiting themselves, but talking openly, honestly and freely, even if— and especially if— you know people won’t agree with you, is the very opposite of self-limiting! Censoring yourself, on the other hand, is the very definition of self-limiting. Refusing to address issues because you’re afraid how it will play out in the press, or with your public and private masters, is self-limiting. Is this really something I have to tell you? Take a look at what people are saying on the ABC news board. This is a so-called liberal news network and this is some of the most racist shit I’ve read in a while. These are largely Obama supporters and he’s encouraging this mess.

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/comments?type=story&id=8108921

2)Obamanauts, and Obama himself, like to make up the position of those who dare to criticize him and then respond to that position. For example, there’s the non-issue of being authentically black that he likes to reference. While I’m sure there are some people who care about his ancestry. For the most part, nobody gives a shit if he has slave blood running through his veins or not. We care about his inability to address the needs of the voting bloc that was almost unanimously in his favor. We don’t care about him being authentically black. We care about him being authentic. We care about honesty and integrity. It’s the personal defects we are against. This why I don’t like Clarence Thomas. It has nothing to do with his color; it has everything to do with his obvious color (inferiority) complex. It has to do with his blatant hypocrisy on issues like Affirmative Action. It has to do with his weak mindset. It’s not a matter of me hating on someone because he’s "successful" or he doesn’t think like me. It’s a matter of me calling out b.s. when I see it. It’s a matter of me taking exception with disingenuous Mountebanks (Thank you 9th grade Vocabulary). Here’s an example of how Obama creates the position he can easily attack.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/18/AR2009071801045.html

"One of the ways that I think that the civil rights movement . . . weakened itself was by enforcing a single way of being black -- being authentically black. And, as a consequence, there were a whole bunch of young black people -- and I fell prey to this for a time when I was a teenager -- who thought that if you were really 'down' you had to be a certain way. And oftentimes that was anti-something. You defined yourself by being against things as opposed to what you were for. And I think now young people realize, you know what, being African American can mean a whole range of things. There's a whole bunch of possibilities out there for how you want to live your life, what values you want to express, who you choose to interact with."

Do you see what he’s done here? He is the result of the weakened Civil Rights Movement. Notice he talks about the movement weakening itself…not being weakened by outside forces. He threw himself in there to show his humanity and fallibility. How noble! Besides that, no one can really tell you what he’s talking about. What part of the mainstream civil rights movement is he referring to? Is he talking about MLK (whose legacy he hijacked), Medgar Evers, Fannie Lou Hamer, SCLC, SNCC, Black Panther Party? How exactly did these individuals and groups define themselves? We’re they strictly “anti”? More importantly, when it comes to racism you’re supposed to be “anti” (against it). When it comes to self preservation and self defense, you’re supposed to be for it. This quote, and many others, is pure pablum. Barack Obama is against an open, honest dialogue on race. He's against directly addressing the issues of the people disproportionately affected by this economic collapse. He's against saying anything that might offend the slack-jawed troglodytes and their leaders Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Newt Gingrich. Pathetic!

3)"Obama is not the black president or the president of the Black United States, he's president of the United States.” (Monroe Anderson) You’ll often hear something like this coming from his apologists. Thank you for that observation. It sounds like something straight out of a Special Ed. Government class in failing public school…either that or the playbook of a conservative Republican. Why is addressing the needs of the most embattled group in this country antithetical to the duties and obligations of the president? The preceding question is supposed to be answered, but no one has ever answered it. If no one will answer a question, does that make it a rhetorical? :-)

4)“I don’t see color. There’s no black or white.” You’ll often come across drivel like this. Check the ABC board for examples. First, if you don’t see color, then get your eyes checked. That’s a defect. I wonder what else you don’t see. Do you see gender? Of course not, that would mean you’re sexist, right? You just see people: blank, nondescript people like the face book silhouette or the super villain Clay Face. And you just date people based on personality…and you hope, when that magical night arrives, you unzip their pants to find the right kind of gentials because you don’t see gender. Gender never even crosses your mind when you talk to people. You’re not self-limiting that way. LOL. Are you beginning to grasp just how ridiculous the colorblind, race neutral claim is? You can acknowledge ethnicity and gender without being racist and sexist. The need to ignore it at all costs speaks to suppression more than non-existence.

These are just the first of many things to think about. I don't want to burn out your Obamanoggins just yet. :-)

Go directly to jail

2009-06-24T01:26:00.001-04:00

Generally speaking, there’s nothing funny about prison or the threat of prison rape. Most people think prison is like Oz. For some, the threat of a meeting with the “Health Inspector” is the only thing keeping them from a life of crime.

“We don’t waste no motherfucking soap in here”

And, to be honest, you’re right to be scared. Having only taught briefly in a correctional facility, I can say with confidence that prison is probably one of the least funny places you can be. And yet, it has inspired so much comedy. The reason for this is actually quite simple. Comedy is largely about expectations. A master comedian will often create the expectation in the minds of the audience only to substantially deviate from it. These Prison scenes are funny, in part, because there’s nothing funny about prison. It provides the perfect backdrop to accentuate the brilliant storytelling of the comedians. For example, I remember watching a Richard Pryor stand-up where he recounted his time spent filming ‘Stir Crazy’ at a Prison in Arizona. He said, “I looked at all the brothas and it made my heart ache. All these beautiful black men in the joint…God damn…warriors should be out there helping the masses.” He beautifully sets up audience expectations here. You almost expect him to throw up his fist. He continues, “6 weeks I was up there, I talked to the brothas, you know, I talked to them.” His whole body seizes up with emotion. He concludes by saying, “Thank god we got penitentiaries!” He builds up the expectation then subverts it. Brilliant! Here’s the classic ‘Stir Crazy’ scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8x8RQYc4Zw

My favorite scene has to be the Chris Tucker/Faizon Love scene from ‘Money Talks’. Look at the way he rests his head against the wall and gets that “lost in your eyes” look. There’s a moment of “tenderness” against the hard steel and concrete of reality….lol. You can’t teach that look in acting. You can’t! “They put they hands on you?”LOL. If you watch nothing else, click play on this clip. If you don’t laugh, it must be your sense of humor that’s locked up.

There are few actors who have made a living doing this. “Black Caesar” from 'The Wayans Brothers' aka “Brotha, You need a Tic-Tac” from Martin comes to mind. His character is always one dimensional, but that one dimension is always hilarious and it certainly brings life to the characters around him. And speaking of characters from ‘Life’, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the classic scene from ‘Trading Places’ with Eddie Murphy. They all share a common thread. They poke fun at the situation no matter how serious it is. And if that’s the only poking going on, then I think we can all agree that it’s been a good day for everyone involved :-)

Sometimes my blogs work the same way. I know I say things that may be offensive to some. I might make fun of things and situations that people take very seriously. But sometimes you have to make light of the darkest times. Those are often the times when it’s most needed.

Locked Up and Afraid?

2009-06-06T13:45:00.000-04:00

I’m not locked up but this is definitely scary. He's willing to put you on a payment plan to secure your freedom. There's a name for the people who have to do that and for the ones who make these kinds of arrangements :-(

He’s got the babies singing. Is his commercial appealing to potential customers or is he putting his whole family on the stroll? Maybe the answer is yes to both :-(

Clearly, we've failed as a people. These commercials were all filmed in Charm City. Baltimore has been knocked off the box as the murder champ of the country over the last couple of years, but we are giving a Kobe-like performance to recapture the title. Always strive to be number one! Business must be booming for all of them. Before shaking your head in disgust, you need to remember that this is really just low-level pimping. The street level parasites i.e. the drug dealers, pimps and criminals aren't really pimps at all. They're all 'bottom hos' regardless of how flashy the uniform or how vulgar the language. They all eventually service the low level pimps i.e. the police department, the justice department, companies that build prisons and 'business owners' like the ones you see here. I should mention that there's some variability on the first level of pimping depending on how much contact you have to make with your tricks. For example, being a judge is far better than being a police officer. You may deal with the same element, but the judge is further and farther removed from the streets (and they get paid more). The second level of pimping is truly unexplored territory to most. It's filled with the Über pimps. These are the most insidious and cunning of all pimps. They are so far removed from the consequences of their actions that it's nearly impossible to tie them to anything. It's the business man or politician who owns a company, that took over another company, that contributes to the campaign of a politician, who will happen to vote in their favor when it comes to zoning laws, that will allow more liquor stores to open, which will only degrade the black community further, which will make it more likely to keep the friction going between the 'bottom hos ' and low level pimps, which will make it easier to pass tougher laws to lock-up the niggas, which will drive up the need to build prisons and drive down the property values where these niggas live and return to, which will make it easier for his corporation to buy up land, which will allow them to build a fucking Starbucks…and make a grip on the side. Are you confused yet? Yeah, that's how deep the game gets. It's easy to stop at the lowest level, but there are so many levels below it.

There are people that are pimping and/or have pimped the entire black community and they don't release commercials about their exploits. They’re mostly white unless they can find a black face to stand in for them (*cough*Barack Obama*cough* Who said that? :-). They're the ones who employed all kinds of unscrupulous business practices to fatten their pockets and destroy your life savings through outright theft and forthcoming inflation due to all of the bail-outs) They are the ones who own the board of liquor license commissioners that allows nearly 250 liquor stores (and counting) in the 81 square mile area that makes up Baltimore City. I wonder if they have 40 oz baby bottles yet? They are the ones who decided to cancel Summer School in Los Angeles. So all those fuck-ups and assholes (let's not mince words) who would normally at least be warehoused in a school building (if not learning anything) will now just roam around during the day. That's going to work out real nicely for someone. The problem is they won’t be putting out a stupid ass commercial so you know who they are. With the inevitable increase in demand for police officers, security equipment and prisons, maybe I should get in on the action.

Coming soon: Black Yoda’s Bail Bonds....Triple B is all you need.

Georgia’s on my Mind

2009-05-24T08:19:00.000-04:00

I’m in Georgia this weekend to do some maintenance on one of my properties. I noticed a few things. First, the people in and around the Atlanta area seem to love billboards. What are the two things Atlantans seem to need the most? Apparently, they need God. And if God isn’t available, then a good personal injury lawyer will do. I understand the need for personal lawyers. People can’t drive in Georgia. Every time I take the exit for I-20, I see another fucking bumper on the ground… with the guard rail looking like a crazy straw. As far as religion goes, if God isn’t everywhere, then his “messengers” certainly are. You can’t throw a stone without hitting some mega church. I don’t really care about all the churches, but it does seem odd to have a community that is clearly dying while the Church is thriving. You got three hundred foreclosed homes, many of them in disrepair due to neglect, that surround a church that looks like a palace. It felt like I was watching a live version of Aladdin.

Second, I was getting gas Saturday night when I saw something unusual: a bunch of addicts in a long line. They were clutching 40 ounces like refugees hanging on to their children. WTF? Apparently you can’t buy liquor on Sunday…lol I guess this explains some of the popularity of churches.

If you belong to the right church, you can sip that consecrated wine on Sunday. That might be your only buzz for the day if forget to make a run on Saturday night. Anyway, I know the two of you who read this blog are in the area. What’s wrong with you people? Do you still put scarlet letters on people and subscribe to a geocentric view of the universe?

Third, I decided to move some of my brother’s things into the house so he doesn’t have to pay for storage. That was a mistake. He packs a bag the way people take a shit. It’s in the bowl….but there’s no rhyme or reason to the shit…literally :-). He’s got a pillow, DVD’s, a butter knife and pancake syrup….all in the same trash bag….lol Based on the way he packed, I can only imagine what the conversation sounded like with his girl an hour before he moved. It probably sounded something like this:

“Baby, you know those Mexicans I was dealing with? The ones kidnapping and torturing people? Yeah, well they’re on to us. We need to get out of here now. Grab whatever you can carry and let’s go. We got to get outta here NOW!!!

Finally, I saw a baby last night at Wal-Mart at 11:45pm. He had a gold chain around his neck and no shirt… :-( I’m ready to go home.…to a place where things make a little (not much) more sense. If it doesn’t rain, I’ll probably cut the weeds (notice I didn’t say grass), catch up with a few friends, and then get the hell out of here before I start picking up a southern drawl.

One flu over the cuckoo’s nest

2009-05-02T11:25:00.003-04:00

I had a student come into class yesterday wearing one of those surgical masks. I snatched it off her face and coughed on it. She didn’t want it back. :-) Every day I’m reminded of just how stupid most people can be. The regular or non sexy flu kills tens of thousands of Americans every year. And yet, the “Swine flu”, which only has confirmed cases in the hundreds and a relatively low mortality rate, is causing people to shut down schools and change how they interact with people.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/05/01/swine.flu.etiquette/index.html

Take off the god damned masks, people! This ain’t Outbreak or 12 Monkeys. I’ve already invested some money in companies that produce hand sanitizers. I got to find some way to capitalize of your stupidity.

Anyway, I’ve noticed something about these outbreaks. First, we had the Avian flu (Bird flu). Now, we have the H1N1 virus (Swine flu). We’ve got viruses that affect chickens and pigs…two of the most delicious animals to the black community. They tried killing us with Syphilis and that didn’t work. Now they’re trying to poison our food supply. :-) Expect a virus to start spreading among the county’s supply of watermelons in the near future. They’ll call it Melon-fluenza. :-) I’m being silly, but no more than the people who are over reacting to this latest media craze. Stop trying to prevent the flu and start trying to prevent the rotting of your brain. I hope we get a confirmed case at my school. I could use a two week vacation. I'll use that time to start my new company. I'm going to build giant Hamster spheres so you fools can roll your ass around outside and still feel protected from whatever it is you've been told is out to get you :-)

Come see me on syndicated TV :-)

2009-04-13T09:25:00.000-04:00

We lost, but I still got $500 just for having my question selected. Hooray for me! :-)

Something Wicked This Way Comes

2009-03-07T09:47:00.000-05:00

I just can’t get with the Republicans. I can’t get with the Democrats either. But I can’t get with the Republicans. The noxious mix of ignorance, arrogance and racism is just too strong for me. They’ll throw any brown face into the wood chipper at this point. I know y'all remember the creepy entrance and terribly pointless spectacle that was the Bobby Jindal Republican Response speech? I thought I was watching the next M.Night Shyamalan flick.

Michael Steele did his best not to appear like token leadership. Chuck D did his best not to appear disgusted by Michael Steele…lol Here’s a tip for MS: You’re in trouble when you have to apologize to a dope fiend blowhard like Limbaugh for claiming to be something that you’re supposed to be….the leader of your party….lol Strangely enough, this captures the situation that many black people find themselves in. Succinctly stated, it captures us. We’re supposed to be who we are, right? :-) It’s o.k. for us to be black, right? :-) Should we apologize if our blackness offends someone?

Chuck D is right about the two party system. It has to be expanded. The only thing more embarrassing than Michael Steele is the unanimity of Black People voting for the Democratic Party. Michael Steele may have been pimp slapped by Rush Limbaugh, but Black people have been getting pimp slapped right along with him as the bottom hos of the Democrat Party. Here’s the problem as I see it. Michael Steele, Barack Obama, Colin Powell, etc. are not very different from one another. They’re damn near interchangeable. I know they may have some differences on a policy here and an issue there, but they’re still weaning from the same teat. Politically speaking, there’s a difference between being black and just not looking white. I’m black! I’m not ashamed of it. I’m not going to apologize for it. I’m not going to pretend I don’t see the terrible situation we’re in. I’m not going to try and project some sort of innocuous demeanor to make white people comfortable. I’m not trying to scare anyone either, but I’m not going to mask my state of mind or the truth to put people that can’t stand me at ease. This is what I can’t stand about most of the black politicians I see on TV. They’re all pawns purposely planted to promote a post-racial perspective. Alliteration: +6 points for me.

Here’s a final point for your consideration. When things continue to worsen despite all the black and brown faces you see at the head of the table, I think my points will resonate with more and more people. When you see all the negative statistics about us surge despite our glorious new post-racial world (How do you get these stats if you don’t see color?), I think my points will resonate with more and more people. When you finally realize that pawns are meant to be sacrificed for the greater good (For whom?), then I think my points will resonate with more and more people. I know too many people who already know the truth, but would rather suppress it and play their position like Michael Steele. You can spray all the perfume you want on a corpse. Eventually, It’s still gonna stink. But don’t listen to me. Enjoy these next couple of years. I can’t afford to pretend I don’t see what’s coming our way.